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puffca

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These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage.
D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. A
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
A
4. It matters what family thinks.
A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
D
6. The husband is the head of the household.
AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.
D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage.
DD
9. Letting out anger is helpful.
A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.
DD
11. Most arguments are emotional.
D
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
DD
13. White lies are OK in a marriage.
D
14. Going to church can help a marriage.
AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.
D


(The other questions were essay questions in which we wrote about our relationship and each other.)
.
 
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Tundras

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AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. AA (Given it's a 1 Corinthians 13 kinda love.)
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D
6. The husband is the head of the household. A
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D (Most, maybe, but not all.)
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. DD (Statistically proven untrue.)
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A (But only in certain ways.)
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. DD
11. Most arguments are emotional. D
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. D
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. AA
 
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JCFantasy23

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Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. AA
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. A
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. D
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD
6. The husband is the head of the household. D (Depends)
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D (Depends)
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A (sometimes its best to bite your tongue though, choose battles)
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. A
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. AA
 
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Oddish

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AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. AA (Only if it is unconditional on both sides though)

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages

D
.
No, but people would think a bit more about rushing into marraige and maybe they would wake up to the responsibility of it. In my opinion, the number 1 cause of marraige breakdown is lack of communication and expecting too much from your spouse - basically running away when things get difficult. Just my opinion. I know there are some exceptions.


3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.

A and D

Especially if one or both of the spouse are very close to their parents and value what they say. In that case, if the inlaws say something negative about their son/daughter's spouse then arguments between each partner may ensue. Oh and if the inlaws are too interfering that would also be an issue. It all depends on how much control the married couple allow the inlaws to have.

4. It matters what family thinks.

A and D.

I agree because sometimes family have your best interests at heart and know you better than anyone else. They also might be able to see the person you are married to for who they really are.

But I also disagree. It depends on the family. Some are a nasty piece of work who want to wreck things for you.

5. The husband should make all financial decisions.

DD. It should be a mutual decision, afterall there are two in the marraige.

6. The husband is the head of the household.

A

Overall yes, but he should still listen to the wife and she should be able to make some decisions or at least make her opinion known.

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.

DD. No way. Chores should be shared.

8. Arguments weaken a marriage.

D. Lack of communication weakens a marriage. At least, when you have an argument you get an idea of what the other person is feeling. Although, there is such thing as an ineffective argument that is not constructive in anyway whatsoever.

9. Letting out anger is helpful.

A


Yes, but don't let it out on others or be too harsh.Talking about what is bothering you in a calm manner would be better.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.

A and D


I tend to agree, but sometimes outside help is needed like prayer and advice from people who have gone through something similar.Advice is needed from other people in all sorts of situations and dilemmas, so why not seek help when having marriage problems? But be careful not to upset your spouse by going behind his/her back.

11. Most arguments are emotional.

DD


Yes, most are rather heated because arguments usually arise when one person has had enough after keeping it all in for ages.

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.

D. Ever read that Proverbs verse that compares a nagging wife to a dripping tap?

The husband would not appreciate constant nagging, but maybe the wife could sit him down and go "Hey, I don't want to nag you but could you perhaps do this since it is really important to me?"

13. White lies are OK in a marriage.

No, they are not. Honesty is the best policy, but that doesn't mean you should say hurtful things like. Try and bring the other spouse up with encouraging words rather than tearing them down. But if they ask for truth, give it to them out of respect and maybe because they need to hear it.

14. Going to church can help a marriage.

It completely depends on the church and what they teach. If it is a good church that encourages them then yes. Going out and doing the same activities sometimes is definately a great idea and the bonus about going to church together is that you are supporting one another in their walk with God.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.

Yes, definately!


P.S I'm sorry but I had to give proper answer. AA, A, D, and DD is an awful way of answering in my opinion...
 
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Stravinsk

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These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Before I answer, I'd like to say I don't like the format, there should be room for more than an agree or disagree, with explanations of your answer.


Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. - A - it is not the only thing, but love is essential to a "successful marriage" - if anything within it can be considered a "success". People who love one another will work harder to keep it together in troubled times and even when the relationship gets rocky. Conversely, I don't consider any marriage a "success" if the two parties despise one another, constantly pick on or demean their spouse, or just stay together for the children. These aren't "success" stories, imo.


2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. - DD - Love and commitment to a relationship is what strengthens it, not the ease or difficulty of divorce.


3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. - A - but only if you let them...

4. It matters what family thinks. - D - Too vague - it matters what the family thinks about what?

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. - D - Financial decisions should be made together, with the major bread winner (husband or wife) having a slight voting advantage, but in deep consideration of partner.


6. The husband is the head of the household. - This needs more clarity


7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. - D - it depends, if both husband and wife work - home care should be shared equally depending on hours worked. If this is a traditional type marriage where the wife is a stay at home mom and husband makes all the $$ - then yes, she should be taking up domestic duties that he doesn't have time for.


8. Arguments weaken a marriage. - D - That will depend on the type of ammo used. Rubber bullets sting but don't mame. Steel bullets can create wounds deep enough to have trouble healing. In my opinion, an open and frank argument is better than silent resentment. Sometimes in open communication there will be a difference of views, sometimes one or the other party or both may not handle it particularly well. It depends if the arguments turn too personal and vicious. And it depends on frequency, too.


9. Letting out anger is helpful. - A - If it is opposed to seething silently. This question requires care - sometimes letting out anger can be because of hurt pride, impatience or other reason that isn't good. Sometimes it can be helpful in letting a spouse know they are doing something wrong or are hurting the relationship in some way. Not all anger is bad. Discernment is needed here.


10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. - A - unless the problems have not been solved for some time and are hurting the relationship.


11. Most arguments are emotional. - D - An argument doesn't neccessarily involve emotion. It often does - but it doesn't have to.


12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. - D - that depends on what it is and how important it is in the scheme of things.


13. White lies are OK in a marriage. - A & D - again, depends on what it is. "Do you like my haircut?" and "does this dress make my butt look fat?" often require men to say what they don't think just for the sake of their own sanity based on the woman's likely response and accompanying attitude or focus on such *important* things.


14. Going to church can help a marriage. - A - with the proviso that it depends on what church and what they value/teach.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. - Need an explanation for this one.
 
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TanteBelle

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These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. A - true love!
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D - just about all divorces are due to selfishness and stubborn pride!
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. A - to a certain extent.
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. A & D - from what I get, blokes don't like it when their woman beats them down for how they spend their money, thinking that 'she could do better'!
6. The husband is the head of the household. AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. A & D - by the man helping out, it is proven to make the marriage better! But don't whine and whinge and demand that he does!
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. AA - arguing, mind you, not discussing!
9. Letting out anger is helpful. DD - venting one's emotions is never good! Neither vent nor bottle up; you deal with it!
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A & D - depending on the problem. Some things are strictly for the married couple whereas there are many other issues that folks on the outside can see more clearly than those in the middle of it.
11. Most arguments are emotional. AA - most of your 'small' arguments stem from something far bigger!
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD - if he isn't doing it, do it yourself! Or better yet, find a way to get him to want to do it!
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD - those who tell 'little white lies' soon go colourblind!
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A - marriage itself is fellowship, however, not all types of fellowship is good fellowship!
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. DD - marriage is 100/100! If your spouse isn't doing their 100, that leaves no excuse for you to not do your 100%!


(The other questions were essay questions in which we wrote about our relationship and each other.)

Before you get married, I highly, strongly, absolutely recommend you reading 'Created to be His Help Meet' by Debi Pearl! It just might make your marriage one that is 'made in heaven'!
 
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alfrodull

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1. Love assures a successful marriage.
A-Assuming people follow through on that love with their actions, that is.

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.

D-You'd just have more people sticking around in failed marriages.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.

A-They can, even if they don't have to.

4. It matters what family thinks.
D-Ultimately, you and your spouse are in control of your lives. There are times when severing contact with family may be the best course of action.

5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
DD

6. The husband is the head of the household.
DD-Marriage is a partnership.

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.

DD

8. Arguments weaken a marriage.
D-Handling arguments poorly can, but so can ignoring problems entirely.

9. Letting out anger is helpful.
A-As long as it's done in a constructive way.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.

A-Except, of course, in cases like abuse.

11. Most arguments are emotional.
AA-You wouldn't be arguing about something that didn't matter at all on an emotional level.

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
A-Say what you will, but sometimes it's all you can do. For example, my husband won't get up and go to work if I don't nag and beg and plead every morning. If I sleep through his alarm he really doesn't get up, and in the military that's a really big deal. It's not like I can go to work for him.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage.

A-To the extent that they really are harmless and well-intended. I'm talking about things on the scale of not wanting the last cupcake or looking fat in a pair of jeans. One shouldn't lie about important things, no matter what.

14. Going to church can help a marriage.

AA

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.
A-Ideally, at least. There are times when either person just won't be able to give their 50.
 
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citizenthom

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AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. DD.

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D. That wouldn't strengthen people's character, which is the root of the problem.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. AA.

4. It matters what family thinks. A. It shouldn't, but unless you cut them off altogether, it does.

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D. The husband needs input from the wife to make the wisest decisions, and the wife will naturally be responsible for some of the family's purchases and should actively know the family's financial plan.

6. The husband is the head of the household. A. It's not a dictatorship, but no relationship can function unless the buck stops somewhere.

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D. It's two people's home, two people's mess, and it takes two to maintain it.

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D. Not having arguments weakens a marriage because it causes you to hold things in, which turns to resentment and passive-aggression.

9. Letting out anger is helpful. AA. See above. But letting anger out must be distinguished from taking anger out on each other.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A. Sometimes outside help is appropriate, but in general airing one's dirty laundry doesn't bring in helpful feedback.

11. Most arguments are emotional. D. Depends on the couple, but there is (or should be) some real reason behind the argument that needs to be addressed.

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D. The husband should give a "yes" or a "no" and follow through. This works both ways.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. DDD. D. DDDDDD. DD.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. AA. That helps keep God at the center of the marriage, and keeps the couple involved in their church community as directed by Scripture.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A. It's not a democracy, but it does require equal work (and lots of it) by both parties. Imbalance is the beginning of strife.
 
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Balugon

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1. Love assures a successful marriage. AA (If it's a godly love that both people adhere to)

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D (But it could still help. It's just like porn being so easy to access right now. If it was hard to find, some people would never fall into it, and they would stay stronger in God).

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. AA (Inlaws could end a marriage).

4. It matters what family thinks. A

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD

6. The husband is the head of the household. DD

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D

9. Letting out anger is helpful. A (Depends on how it's done)

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D

11. Most arguments are emotional. DD

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD

14. Going to church can help a marriage. A/D (Depends on the situation, the church, and if the couple is already regularly attending a day a week or more. A church in and of itself means nothing, nor does having people in it mean anything. Some churches are just plain dead.)

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. AA
 
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ceh85

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Blind post without thinking too much about it...

These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage.D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.A
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.AA
4. It matters what family thinks.A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions.D
6. The husband is the head of the household.D
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage.D
9. Letting out anger is helpful.A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.D
11. Most arguments are emotional.A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.DD
13. White lies are OK in a marriage.D
14. Going to church can help a marriage.A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.DD


(The other questions were essay questions in which we wrote about our relationship and each other.)
 
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Tamara224

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Some of these definitely need explanation - I imagine that's what the whole exercise is about... getting couples to begin communicating about these things.

It's interesting how easy it is for two people to look at the same question and see it asking two very different things. And thus, even when they are not all that different in the way they think about it, they can answer seemingly opposite things.

It's sooooo important for people to LISTEN! ^_^


1. Love assures a successful marriage. AA - if it's true love, (i.e. 1 Corinthians 13 love), and both people are committed to it. DD - if it's a feeling (i.e. being "in" love)

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. DD

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A - they can, they should not, but they can

4. It matters what family thinks. limited A - it depends on the family and what it is they are thinking about

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD

6. The husband is the head of the household. D - the Bible says the husband is the head of the wife (not the household) and I think this is a commonly misunderstood 1st century Greek idiom, anyway

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. DDDDD

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. DD - fights weaken a marriage. Arguments ultimately bring people closer together

9. Letting out anger is helpful. AA - it's necessary to let all such emotions out. It's important to do it in a constructive and non-hurtful way if possible.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D - couples should seek counsel from friends and family to help them out. It's silly, IMHO, for people to not seek advice and support from those who have been there and done that (e.g. parents, pastors, elders in church, etc). But also A because the couple needs to work it out with one another, together, through communication and not seek a counselor or pastor to be a judge or referee. The purpose of outside help should always be to bring the couple together not to put someone in between them.

11. Most arguments are emotional. A - there's usually an emotional element to arguments but I wouldn't say that most are primarily emotional.

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD - nagging helps no one

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. C - they might be okay depending on the circumstances but usually can and should be avoided.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. A

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. C - depends on what is meant by "50/50". It's really more 100/100.
 
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overit

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Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D (love is not the only thing but it certainly is a huge contributing factor)
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. DD
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A (to an extent)
4. It matters what family thinks. D (but to an extent)
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D
6. The husband is the head of the household. D
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. A (petty arguing can-but it's also important to not stuff all our needs/emotions and build a hard heart-so it's necessary at times)
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A-IF done constructive manner-anger is not a sin, anger often lets us express the extent of dissastisfaction w/our partner. HOW you act when angry makes the difference.
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A and D....depends on the severity of the problem, abuse of any kind should seek immediate outside help.
11. Most arguments are emotional. D
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D ok to ask again, sometimes people forget, after that just let it pile up or do it yourself :) avoid the argument.
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. A-white lies are ok...as in "does this make me look fat"?
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A -it can, sure but it's not indicative of it's future success.
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. D ....hopefully both go at it 100%, but there will be times where one is giving more then the other and vice-versa throughout the marriage, it's common and not the end of a marriage. People struggle w/personal issues asides from marriage that they may be dealing with, and one partner is stronger in their commitment and love to keep the marriage going until the other one is strong again. It's give and take, but not in a 50/50 kind of way.
 
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Marycita

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AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. AA, if like others have said, it's unconditional, selfless love
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. D
4. It matters what family thinks. I don't know anymore...
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D
6. The husband is the head of the household. AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. DD
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.DD
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. D
14. Going to church can help a marriage.AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. DD
 
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lostaquarium

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1. Love assures a successful marriage. Neutral/undecided
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. AA
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. A (but ideally we should agree)
6. The husband is the head of the household. AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. ?no idea
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. A
9. Letting out anger is helpful. D (letting out the reason for anger is helpful, but letting out anger is not helpful)
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. Depends what it is. If it's important that he does it, then AA.
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. AA
 
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mina

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AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. DD- love helps and is needed, but commitment and willingness to work at it from both partners assure successful marriages.
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D- I think people need to learn how to be a partner.
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.- A, but it can be worked through.
4. It matters what family thinks. D-to an extent, but ultimately you are married to your spouse and your marriage is defined by you both.
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD- partnership and communication for the win.
6. The husband is the head of the household. D- partnership and communication for the win. Although, I do believe in submission within marriage from both partners to each other.
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. DD- partnership and communication for the win.
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D- Know how to fight; there's a right way and a wrong way.
9. Letting out anger is helpful. D- depends on the outlet- hitting and demeaning is always wrong; going on a run is probably good.
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. DD-if you need help; seek it out.
11. Most arguments are emotional. DD
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD-nagging doesn't really work and makes people resentful.
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. D- unless you are planning a surprise party and trying to hide it from them
14. Going to church can help a marriage. AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. DD- it's a 110 percent effort from each partner. It's about giving and doing for the other person.
 
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xDenax

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Before you get married, I highly, strongly, absolutely recommend you reading 'Created to be His Help Meet' by Debi Pearl! It just might make your marriage one that is 'made in heaven'!

And I strongly recommend you stay far far away from anything they have ever written. Their view of marriage is warped and dangerous. I got very wrapped up in their ideals and thankfully realized with time that they are extrememly disturbing.

1. Love assures a successful marriage. - disagree
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. - disagree
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. - agree. my father's affair and my parent's divorce greatly affecting our marriage. we were both extrememly depressed and the stress of my family's upheaval increased my OCD anxiety until I was no longer functioning (I was headed toward hospitalization). That of course took a toll on our relationship. So yes, I have to say that the in-laws (and other family) can have an affect on a couple.
4. It matters what family thinks. - agree
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. - strongly disagree
6. The husband is the head of the household. - disagree
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. - disagree
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. - disagree
9. Letting out anger is helpful. - if it's healthy it's fine but most ways are not
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. - disagree. counseling can be helpful
11. Most arguments are emotional. - agree
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. - disagree
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. - strongly disagree
14. Going to church can help a marriage. - it depends
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. - agree
 
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T

TanteBelle

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And I strongly recommend you stay far far away from anything they have ever written. Their view of marriage is warped and dangerous. I got very wrapped up in their ideals and thankfully realized with time that they are extrememly disturbing.

Howso? I've read that book myself and I honestly can't think of anything aside from one issue that I disagree with.
 
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SonicBOOM

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These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage.

I agree, for the most part.... however "love" is not a feeling, it is a verb, action, ect. If 2 people truly love eachother they will make countless sacrifices and come to many mutual understandings.... so yes... love assures a successful marriage.

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.

strongly disagree. Very little can be solved by strengthening the law.... it's much better to solve problems long before they reach the point of evening considering a divorce.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.

I agree. It can impact the life of each member and it can make it very hard sometimes. It just sucks that some people can be this selfish.... I'm pretty thankful for the family I have and something tells me my wife to be will be as well. My family isn't so tied around my waste as to effect my marrege this way.... and their pretty loving and accepting people in general

4. It matters what family thinks.

strongly strongly strongly disagree. "leave mother and father and cling to wife". New family, new loyalties

5. The husband should make all financial decisions.

strongly disagree :p I'm a fool when it comes to management. No matter who I marry I garentee she will be much wiser with my money than me. Do not make a fool be in charge of the money just because he's male.

6. The husband is the head of the household.

not sure. It depends on what you mean by "head". If he is the spiritaul leader who is to lovingly lead his wife and sacrifice for his wife? than I agree.... if it means the man has a "role" even though he may very well be gifted in something else? Than I strongly disagree

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.

strongly strongly disagree :p as many women would say to their man "get OFF your butt and pull your weight around the house" :p

8. Arguments weaken a marriage.

disagree. If you argue rightly it can actully prevent resentment and bring the 2 people closer together

9. Letting out anger is helpful.

agreed. However it depends on how you let it out.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.

strongly disagree. the idea of "the body of christ" implies that we are dependent on one another

11. Most arguments are emotional.

disagree

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.

disagree.... if the husband makes up his mind about something, than pestering can only create more harm. Even if he is being incredably selfish. I think the issue is "how important is it?"

13. White lies are OK in a marriage.

strongly disagree

14. Going to church can help a marriage.

if your both christian [assuming you are] besides any relationship is naturally strengthened when it comes under God and good christian fellowship. Many of my own freinds are married and go to my church. Just like the fact that you shouldn't shelter yourself from others while your single, you shouldn't shelter yourself and your spouse while your married.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.

disagree. Marriage is a "do whatever needs to be done" proposition.


(The other questions were essay questions in which we wrote about our relationship and each other.)
 
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Niels

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1. Love assures a successful marriage.
(A) If a husband and wife truly love each other, Corinthians 13 style, their marriage is more likely to succeed.

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.
(D) Although it might slightly lower the divorce rate, I don't think it would necessarily result in strong marriages.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
(A)

4. It matters what family thinks.
(A) Although it matters to me, they trust my judgment.

5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
(D) Financial decisions should be mutual.

6. The husband is the head of the household.
(A) Like a team captain. Not like a dictator.

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.
(D) A lot depends on the couple.

8. Arguments weaken a marriage.
(D) There's a place for healthy, respectful, debate.

9. Letting out anger is helpful.
(D) Tantrums are generally counterproductive.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.
(A) Ideally, but it can also be helpful to have an outside perspective if the private approach fails.

11. Most arguments are emotional.
(D)

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
(D) Nagging is annoying and disrespectful. Unless, of course, the husband is absent-minded, and appreciates that his wife reminds him when he forgets.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage.
(D) Others have mentioned a few good exceptions, but they're exceptions rather than the rule. Honesty is generally the best policy.

14. Going to church can help a marriage.
(A) Based on what I've seen, yes... although there are no guarantees.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.
(D) Both partners should give their all, and not keep score.
 
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marlowe007

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1. Love assures a successful marriage. A
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. A
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. D
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D
6. The husband is the head of the household. A
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. A (I know most people here disagree, but quarrelling put an end to my parents' marriage.)
9. Letting out anger is helpful. D
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. D
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. DD
 
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