Curious...

[Mrs. Luther073082]

These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage.
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
4. It matters what family thinks.
5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
6. The husband is the head of the household.
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.
8. Arguments weaken a marriage.
9. Letting out anger is helpful.
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.
11. Most arguments are emotional.
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
13. White lies are OK in a marriage.
14. Going to church can help a marriage.
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.


(The other questions were essay questions in which we wrote about our relationship and each other.)

 

[Wren]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. AA
4. It matters what family thinks. A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD
6. The husband is the head of the household. A
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. D
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. DD
11. Most arguments are emotional. D
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. D
14. Going to church can help a marriage. AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A

 

[Quoth]

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. -- D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. -- DD
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. -- AA
4. It matters what family thinks. -- A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. -- D
6. The husband is the head of the household. -- AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. -- D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. -- D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. -- AA
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. -- DD
11. Most arguments are emotional. -- D
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. -- D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. -- DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. -- AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. -- DD

 

[SmileAndAHandshake]

I don't like the letter codes for whatever reason so I just wrote it out. Plus in some instances, I can't sanction myself to solely put only one or two words from a list as the answer, I just can't, haha. What can I say, I never followed instructions well as a child



1. Love assures a successful marriage. Disagree

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. Disagree

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. "It depends" is my answer. Overall? Disagree, but it depends on how both parties are willing to handle the situation. A person should be able to choose his spouse over his family, because the spouse becomes the immediate family, IMO. If you marry someone who can't make that choice, than "Agree" is my answer.

4. It matters what family thinks. Highly disagree

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. Highly disagree

6. The husband is the head of the household. Disagree

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. Disagree

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. Disagree

9. Letting out anger is helpful. Agree, however only if done in healthy ways.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. "Depends on the situation". Overall? Disagree bordering on Agree would be my answer. I think people go too often for outside help in solving non-issues, further complicating issues. However, if there is a serious problem that one cannot resolve privately, you should seek a third party's input.

11. Most arguments are emotional. Highly agree

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. Highly disagree that this should be the only thing you do to resolve the issue.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. Highly disagree. I loathe the concept of lying being acceptable in a marriage, even in small lies. Note: I do not consider "hiding the birthday gift" to be a white lie.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. Depends on the people. Can't answer from your list. For us? Probably Disagree, because my husband is Agnostic, but still it's something we can do together and we almost always have lots of discussions afterwords so in a way it could be "Agree". It just depends.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Highly agree.

 

[TheOliveSeed]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. DD
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD
6. The husband is the head of the household. A
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. DD
11. Most arguments are emotional. D
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A

 

[Inkachu]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. DD
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. A
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. A
6. The husband is the head of the household. AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. DD
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. AA

 

[Inkachu]

Anyone else feel like they're typing bra sizes? LOL

 

[sweetlambofgod]

These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. A
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD
6. The husband is the head of the household. D
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D
11. Most arguments are emotional. A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage.A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.D


(The other questions were essay questions in which we wrote about our relationship and each other.)

 

[JohnDB]

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. I wish that was true.

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.I wish this was true as well...but neither are.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. Unfortunately this is true.

4. It matters what family thinks.One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch...but a barrel of rotten apples is never a good thing.

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. The husband should be the final decision maker....but only after consulting what the wife thinks.

6. The husband is the head of the household. The buck stops with him...God said it and it doesn't matter whether I believe it or not...it is just the way that it is.

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.yes, which means when she says she needs help the husband should listen to her and do all that he can to help. (but those green curtains still make me want to puke)

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. do not even believe this has ever been true.

9. Letting out anger is helpful....depends upon how and in what manner it is done.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. Sure...and the moon is made of green cheese...I don't know of a woman yet who didn't confide in her GF about whatever marriage issues she has.

11. Most arguments are emotional. NO...not neccesarily. Some are passionate without emotions

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. This is otherwise known as nagging and is completely disrespectful...making the husband have a really difficult time loving his wife.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. I don't care if that dress makes the hippopotomus at the zoo look anorexic...she never looks fat.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. DUH...unless the church is run by some guy named David Koresh.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. This is the biggest lie in the world...Marriage is a 100/100 proposition. Not everyone has their best every day or even every year...some have poor decades...but both working best that they can with what they have within them towards common goals...that is marriage.

 

[K9_Trainer]

I don't like the letter codes for whatever reason so I just wrote it out. Plus in some instances, I can't sanction myself to solely put only one or two words from a list as the answer, I just can't, haha. What can I say, I never followed instructions well as a child



1. Love assures a successful marriage. Disagree

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. Disagree

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. "It depends" is my answer. Overall? Disagree, but it depends on how both parties are willing to handle the situation. A person should be able to choose his spouse over his family, because the spouse becomes the immediate family, IMO. If you marry someone who can't make that choice, than "Agree" is my answer.

4. It matters what family thinks. Highly disagree

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. Highly disagree

6. The husband is the head of the household. Disagree

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. Disagree

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. Disagree

9. Letting out anger is helpful. Agree, however only if done in healthy ways.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. "Depends on the situation". Overall? Disagree bordering on Agree would be my answer. I think people go too often for outside help in solving non-issues, further complicating issues. However, if there is a serious problem that one cannot resolve privately, you should seek a third party's input.

11. Most arguments are emotional. Highly agree

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. Highly disagree that this should be the only thing you do to resolve the issue.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. Highly disagree. I loathe the concept of lying being acceptable in a marriage, even in small lies. Note: I do not consider "hiding the birthday gift" to be a white lie.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. Depends on the people. Can't answer from your list. For us? Probably Disagree, because my husband is Agnostic, but still it's something we can do together and we almost always have lots of discussions afterwords so in a way it could be "Agree". It just depends.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Highly agree.

You pretty much answered the way I would have. I wasn't fond of the scale either

 

[Tink]

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. -- AA (True sacrificial love does.)
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. -- DD
3. In-laws can affect the happiness of a marriage. -- D
4. It matters what family thinks. -- D
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. -- D
6. The husband is the head of the household. -- AA
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. -- D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. -- DD
9. Letting out anger is helpful. -- AA
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. -- D
11. Most arguments are emotional. -- A
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. -- DD
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. -- DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. -- AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. -- A

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage.
AA
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.
DD

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
D

4. It matters what family thinks. D

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D

6. The husband is the head of the household.
AA

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. DD

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D

9. Letting out anger is helpful. A

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.
D

11. Most arguments are emotional. A

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
DD

13. White lies are OK in a marriage.
D

14. Going to church can help a marriage.
A

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A

 

[Wedjat]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. A because it is an important factor, even if it doesn't necessarily assure a successful marriage in itself.

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. DD There might be a few cases where this cause people to go back and re-evaluate their marriage for the better, but for the most part I think it would just get a lot of people stuck in unhappy relationships that are possibly even worse simply because they can't get a divorce.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A I'm sure if they were really trying they could, but I also don't think it is as much of a factor as Hollywood would have us believe.

4. It matters what family thinks. A I'm sure having everyone against you would be pretty grating, but at the end of the day it should be your and your partners interests first, not other family members

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD Funds are used mutually and should be decided upon mutually

6. The husband is the head of the household. DD

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. DD The house belongs to both, so why should only one carry the burden of domestic chores?

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D if arguments are frequent enough that they are affecting the marriage, there is something wrong on a deeper level, the arguments are just an indicator.

9. Letting out anger is helpful. A if you are alone in the house with a cardboard box in the basement, otherwise D

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D if outside help is needed, then outside help should be sought.

11. Most arguments are emotional. A they may certainly get emotional, but they may not start that way.

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. A depending on the situation, just so long as sufficient time is given in between each iteration of the request that the task could have reasonably be done in and has not.

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. A if they actually are white.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. A I don't think the act of going to church in itself actually helps a marriage, but I think doing something together with your partner is important.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. -- I like JohnDB's answer, it should be 100/100

 

[BarelyBreathing]

These are some of the questions Kirk and I had to answer (seperately) in premarital counseling a few months ago. I'm curious to see what your answers are.

Please indicate how much you agree with each statement based on the following scale:

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D..... it takes more than just love, but also it takes both sides. One can love, but if there is no love for the other.....

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D....I think it would do a lot of things, but not necessarily strengthen marriages.

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. D..... I believe in-laws can cause stress, can interfere, can try and separate and many other negative things... but at the end of the day I believe an individual's happiness is not dependent on others, and is their own choice. We can not choose or control how others act or behave, but we can choose how we respond to it.

4. It matters what family thinks. A & D..... I think this could be somewhat situational and transient. I think on some things it is important to get family's input, but in the end the final decision is yours to make, and family must respect that.

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D

6. The husband is the head of the household. A

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D... this is up to the couple. If my spouses wishes me to then I will, but he is more than welcome to contribute if he so chooses. He can decide how we manage this.

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D

9. Letting out anger is helpful. A & D...... the Bible says to be angry and sin not. Anger in itself is not bad, it is how it is expressed that can be highly detrimental and counterproductive.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. D...... if outside help is needed, then by all means the couple should seek it. There are neutral third parties, such as counselors, who can help with a host of problems such as conflict resolution, intimate problems, etc.

11. Most arguments are emotional. A..... but again, like the anger thing. Emotions in themselves are not bad. We all have them and we all express them. Emotions help us make decisions. I don't believe any argument is devoid of all emotion.

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD......... my first DD! Absolutely NOT. Ugh, no way should a wife nag her husband that way. If she wants it done, she can just do it herself. LOL

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. D....... I believe in honesty and respect.

14. Going to church can help a marriage. A & D......... going to church alone may not help, but active participation together, and praying and reading the Bible together, and the more togetherness a couple has the more it can help the marriage.

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. D.... it should be 100% from both. If both are not willing to give their 100%, then they should not enter into a marriage. And also, what you give........ is a gift...... you should not give expecting anything in return. Anything given in return is just the icing on the cake, and is a gift given to you. Always be grateful for everything the other person gives. A positive attitude is a big deal.



I don't like the way the questions are worded, so I expounded.

 

[dayhiker]

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

A 1. Love assures a successful marriage.
DD 2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.
A 3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
A 4. It matters what family thinks.
D 5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
A 6. The husband is the head of the household.
A 7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.
DD 8. Arguments weaken a marriage.
A 9. Letting out anger is helpful.
D 10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.
AD 11. Most arguments are emotional.
D 12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
AD 13. White lies are OK in a marriage.
AA 14. Going to church can help a marriage.
AD 15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.

 

[leothelioness]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. D
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. AA
4. It matters what family thinks. DD
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD
6. The husband is the head of the household. Not sure.
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. DD
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A
11. Most arguments are emotional. AA
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A

 

[Sketcher]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. A

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. AA

4. It matters what family thinks. AA

5. The husband should make all financial decisions. D

6. The husband is the head of the household. A

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D

8. Arguments weaken a marriage. D

9. Letting out anger is helpful. A - just watch how you do it.

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A or D, depending on severity. If the couple cannot solve these problems themselves, then enter the outside help.

11. Most arguments are emotional. A

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. DD

13. White lies are OK in a marriage. D

14. Going to church can help a marriage. A

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. A

 

[GoodNewsJim]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. (If the love never leaves, AA. If the love is only the temporary love at proposal DD)
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. DD
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. ??
4. It matters what family thinks. ??
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. DD
6. The husband is the head of the household.A
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage.D
9. Letting out anger is helpful.(I can't remember the last time I got angry at anything)
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.(what types of problems?)
11. Most arguments are emotional. DD
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. (Pestering may work if done right. The higher the frequency of the pestering can be annoying though)
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage.AA
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.(What does this mean? I give 50% and my wife gives 50% and together we make a 100%?)

 

[Fremdin]

AA - Highly agree
A - Agree
D - Disagree
DD - Highly disagree

1. Love assures a successful marriage.
D (I love my gay best friend but we wouldn't make a good marriage... Actually we would. He and I would do just fine except for one thing)

2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages.
D( No it would trap people in unhappy or abusive marriages)

3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage.
A

4. It matters what family thinks.
D (LOL, my family is nuts)

5. The husband should make all financial decisions.
DD(A Y chromosome doesn't equal financial smarts)

6. The husband is the head of the household.
D

7. The wife should be in charge of all home care.
DD

8. Arguments weaken a marriage.
DD (no they strengthen the marriage if they're done right)

9. Letting out anger is helpful.
A

10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help.
D

11. Most arguments are emotional.
D

12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it.
DD (she should do it herself)

13. White lies are OK in a marriage.
D

14. Going to church can help a marriage.
A, I think depends on the couple and their individual belief system, they shouldn't force their partner to follow their own belief system

15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition.
AA

 

[backspacekey]

1. Love assures a successful marriage. D
2. If divorces were made harder to obtain, it would strengthen marriages. A
3. Inlaws can affect the happiness of a marriage. A
4. It matters what family thinks. D
5. The husband should make all financial decisions. A
6. The husband is the head of the household. A
7. The wife should be in charge of all home care. D
8. Arguments weaken a marriage. DD
9. Letting out anger is helpful. A
10. In marriage, problems should be solved privately and the couple should not seek outside help. A
11. Most arguments are emotional. AA
12. If a husband is not getting something done, a wife should continue to ask him again and again until he does it. D - I really don't see the relevance of this question
13. White lies are OK in a marriage. DD
14. Going to church can help a marriage. A
15. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. AA