Cure for Lonliness?

[Wld@Heart]

I posted already in the Women's Discussion, but that was before I found the singles discussion. I am new to this board and I really feel burdened on my heart. I figure no one in person understands me, maybe I will give strangers a chance.

I am 23 yrs old and am single. 4 years ago I got out of an awful relationship. He loved his friends and partying and I was confused. I prayed every night after we broke up for comfort and to be released from my pain. One night I prayed that the Lord close every boyfriend relationship "door" in the future except for the one I was to be with. 4 years later, I have not even had a date. Prayer works, lemme tell ya. But the thing is, ALL my friends now are either engaged (planning their weddings) or married, including my best friend who is married to my brother. It is so hard. Everytime a big group goes out to dinner I am always the "odd one out". I try not to let it bother me, but it is so hard, and awkward. I feel like people think I am wierd, even after I explain I am looking for a good Christian guy. I truly believe the Lord has great things for me. Im just lonely and I get discouraged. I try to talk about it with my best friend, but she is married and has a totally different outlook. The thing is I do not want to settle for a Non-Christian and get hurt again. I want who the Lord wants for me. And really, if His plan for me is to be single, I will do that. (Although it will be difficult). But I guess I just want to know, how do I get rid of this ache I have in my heart? I just feel like I am in a rut and I pray and pray for strength and for the Lord to fill the void in my heart with His presence. But I do not feel like I am getting an answer. Sometimes I get down and wonder if it is me, is something wrong with me? I guess I have a good personality and am pretty, but I cant help but think there is something I am doing wrong? (I think this on a bad day, on a good day I realize this is the Lord's plan) I could use a prayer.

Even if no one responds at least I got to vent what was bothering me.

 

[silentpoet]

Prayer does indeed work, sometimes painfully. I am single because I prayed to be closer to God. The very next day my girlfriend broke up with me. I do advise caution.

What I would suggest is to pray specifically for the type of man you want. Pray for those qualities that are important to you. Also do not mistake no answer now for an answer of no.

God placed this desire for somebody in you for a reason. Why I cannot say. But I do know that Jesus said what father would give His child a stone when he asked for bread. I interpret that farther to mean God would not place this desire in your heart without reason, and also without some bread to fill the hunger out there somewhere. Also God made you the way you are for a reason, that in part might be so you answer some guy's prayer.

 

[HoneyComb Son]

wild@heart..i can sympathize with you.i have alot of experience with lonilness..it does hurt alot..i havent had a relationship..and in the past it bothered me..i felt like a freak..that no one desired me..but i want you do know there is hope!..like silentpoet said..God gives us desires..i can tell you that is the true..He does give us desires..He sometimes uses them to lead us....also remember the verse in Psalms..those who delight in the Lord..He gives them their heart's desires..and it is true.. and another verse in psalms reads...no good thing does God withold from those whose walk is blameless

God wants the best for you wild@heart.. i used to think God treated me like an outcast..and didnt bless me..boy was I wrong..He revealed to me many great things he had in store for me..and I am still amazed

have hope wild@heart.. i pray God will give you peace on this area of your life..i want to also say..please dont look at what others have..i know this from others experience..it isnt good..it is hard..but it is worth it..the joy you get from just enjoying what you have is awesome..also i pray blessings and passion in your heart wild@heart..i pray grace and peace..and love for God..so that in this time you are in..God will grow you.and prepare you for the person you are to marry..so that it will be a time of absolute joy and praise for God..God bless you wild@heart..in Jesus name amen

 

[ravendta]

I struggle with the same thing... I pray you find the happiness you seek...

 

[fungku]

probabyl all of us here who browse the singles forum struggle or have struggled with this!

a prayer for you!

 

[renaistre]

The good news is that, yes, there are plenty of people here who understand exactly how you feel. Or at least close to how you feel.

The bad news is that there's not an easy solution. I'm usually good about not letting this stuff get to me, but I've been down myself the last few days. I'll come back and post something more encouraging tomorrow

 

[BlackSaab52]

I've been feeling very lonely, too. It seems like all my friends are finding dates easily, but I can't seem to find anyone I'd be interested in. The girl I used to date just recently got a new boyfriend. She's still a very good friend of mine, but now that she has this new b/f, she probably won't be talking to me much, and I hardly have any other good friends. I can't wait to go back to college next month, though. I'm gonna try to actually be social and make new friends.

 

[winglovesall]

Hey, I've been feeling lonely all my life - I am honest here -

To be honest, the Lord encourages you through faith to get out of that feeling of discouragement because you're lonely.

ChristianForums opened my eyes actually - because I only have a few friends - but it sure made me feel a lot more better with loneliness.

I had no mates at all (friends) when I was in primary school - But it didn't matter at all - the Lord was there for me -

In your case - being single is perfectly fine - I'm single - hey - at my age - people want me to hook up and want me to go through a relationship with a chick - but sure, I get teased about it or I get forced about it - but hey, I never remembered it - be happy about it!

 

[Jamza]

Yup I know how you feel. I hope I meet someone in university when I start.

 

[Wld@Heart]

Thank you all.

It's good to know at least there are other people out there who feel the same way I do.

 

[winglovesall]

No problem at all!

 

[mina]

Yes I go therough the same thing. I recently got out of a relationship and it wasn't a bad relationship- it was good and the man was a good man so I don't know what God is doing. But lonliness is something i'm battling right now. It's very hard.

 

[JPPT1974]

I feel lonely but not as much as I used to. As I rely on my siblings, their families, and my parents. But most of all, God as I am really not alone as He's by my side at all times. And He gives me a peace that surpasses all understanding.

 

[Wld@Heart]

You are right. He is by our side at all times.

 

[renaistre]

Hmm, I still haven't quite gotten back to normal yet. It will happen though.