Crying in public...

[stan1980]

Is it immoral? Seriously though, what do you make of people who cry in public or in the workplace, does it show weakness or does it just mean they aren't afraid to show their emotions? I always feel a tad uncomfortable when I see someone crying over little things, and sometimes a little infuriating. Maybe I need to work at sympathy a little harder?

 

[Pogue]

I feel uncomfortable too (I have still never even seen a grown man cry, but the thought makes me even more uncomfortable) but I see it as a personal failing, rather than a flaw on their part. It's good to have control over your emotions, but bottling things up isn't good either, although that sounds like a horrible cliche. I think it's important to find a mid-way point between the two. I'm still going to flap around in a useless way whenever it happens (probably because I'm British or something) but on a logical level, there's nothing wrong with crying in public, and it makes no difference whether they're male or female- they've got an equal right to cry all they want.

 

[Robbie_James_Francis]

I think it depends on the situation and the gravity of the emotions. In some circumstances, such as bereavement and funerals, it would be wholly wrong to expect someone to force themselves not to cry in public, however uncomfortable you find it.

It's important, imo, that people also feel they can openly express their emotions to people close to them. It can make them feel somewhat uncomfortable, but I'd expect that friends would be there for each other despite that.

 

[Bombila]

Crying (releasing tears) has known physiological benefits. Most of us could likely stand to do a bit more weeping, health-wise.

Losing control in public, or at work, however, can be problematical because of the effect on others. A person's basic urge is usually to comfort the weeper, or leave them to it, but if one is not intimately familiar with the person weeping, it's almost impossible to perceive which approach is appropriate, hence the feeling uncomfortable.

I guess from that all you can say is that the discomfort it may cause onlookers is of less importance, usually, than the need for the weeper to weep.

However, I know that there are occasions when a person will burst into tears at a moment where crying can only be seen as manipulative. A person who cries at a meeting, for example, out of frustration that things are not going their way, derails the concentration and thought processes of others at the meeting.

 

[Eudaimonist]

Is it immoral? Seriously though, what do you make of people who cry in public or in the workplace, does it show weakness or does it just mean they aren't afraid to show their emotions? I always feel a tad uncomfortable when I see someone crying over little things, and sometimes a little infuriating. Maybe I need to work at sympathy a little harder?

Immoral? To have and show emotions? Certainly not. It's probably healthy.

I think this should be more accepted. Some people are more sensitive than others, and this shouldn't be seen as a weakness.

Of course, crying for the purpose of manipulation may very well be immoral. But don't assume that this is what is happening without good reason.

And, yes, you should be more sympathetic.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[sidhe]

I sometimes just start crying. But that's just me. I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[wanderingone]

Is it immoral? Seriously though, what do you make of people who cry in public or in the workplace, does it show weakness or does it just mean they aren't afraid to show their emotions? I always feel a tad uncomfortable when I see someone crying over little things, and sometimes a little infuriating. Maybe I need to work at sympathy a little harder?

Have you been listening to Savage Nation? Seriously the guy just had what I can only call a hissy fit on his show because Bush Sr. cried in public. He was only talking about men though, he went into a rant about never seeing the "enemy" cry in public and how mothers are turning their sons into little girls... it was quite stunning to hear this guy babble on for about 5 minutes about Bush sr and how embarrassed he was to see him cry in public.

I really don't know many people who cry over little things. I don't particularly care for over emotional reactions in general and I think at times it is inappropriate but for the most part I don't care.

I can't say it's immoral at all, and I think reacting particularly strongly to someone else's emotional state is a flaw in itself.

 

[FaithLikeARock]

I have some emotional problems so I can cry (and get really angry and happy) very easily. Often to the point of bawling like a baby. And because of this, I have had this happen. I highly doubt it's immoral seeing as unless you're a human robot, you don't really have that much control over your emotions.

Besides, Jesus cried in public.

 

[fuzzymel]

When John Terry cried last Wednesday it made me smile. Thank goodness for bottlers like John Terry. Shame he scored last night. I was kinda hoping for more tears.

In general I think its ok to cry in public. Usually when people do it makes want to cry to.

 

[Chajara]

I've cried at a meeting before, but it was because I was being lambasted for something I shouldn't have gotten into trouble for and then my manager accused me of being smart-mouthed when all I'd done was bring up a rule she herself created about not taking bathroom breaks (apparently she made the rule and then decided it was flexible and people could break it if needed, but told no one. I brought up the rule to use as an example for something and she cut me off and was like "Oh, now you're just being smart, you know you can go if you need to"). I was so stunned and felt so helpless that I was being accused of mouthing off when all I had done is follow a rule that I just burst into tears. :/ This manager had a history of throwing good workers under the bus when it had the effect of making her look better though.

It sucked, because the person who should have been reprimanded got off scott free because I was then unable to defend myself. I can't help if I cry easily, it's always been a huge problem for me.

 

[Maren]

Have you been listening to Savage Nation? Seriously the guy just had what I can only call a hissy fit on his show because Bush Sr. cried in public. He was only talking about men though, he went into a rant about never seeing the "enemy" cry in public and how mothers are turning their sons into little girls... it was quite stunning to hear this guy babble on for about 5 minutes about Bush sr and how embarrassed he was to see him cry in public.

I really don't know many people who cry over little things. I don't particularly care for over emotional reactions in general and I think at times it is inappropriate but for the most part I don't care.

I can't say it's immoral at all, and I think reacting particularly strongly to someone else's emotional state is a flaw in itself.

Yet I'm guessing he never criticized Bush, Jr. for the many times he's cried as president.

 

[wanderingone]

Yet I'm guessing he never criticized Bush, Jr. for the many times he's cried as president.

I don't think he's a much of a Bush Jr. fan either.. can't say I listen to the guy often, sometimes I feel the need to torture myself and listen to "conservative" talk radio... this particular rant was delivered yesterday (I think.. or the day before) had me wondering again if the guy is actually serious with his ideas or if he's kind of like the onion for talk radio.

 

[Beanieboy]

There is a very unfair gender issue with this. I have been told, "A man should only cry twice in his life - when he is born, and when his mother dies." However, you see movies or have experiences where a girl cries over a guy, but a man cannot cry.

I think that there is nothing wrong with crying, but crying in public, to me, is a little weird. If your mom died, if 9/11 happened, etc., I understand, but I have seen girls cry because they broke a nail, they had a fight on the phone, whatever. I think they have the luxury of crying whenever they want to, but the smaller the event, the more uncomfortable I feel. My partner is a professor, and has girl student after girl student come in, break into tears about how hard their load is, how they really need the A, etc. I suppose that if the way you get what you want is to cry, as pathetic as that is for an ADULT, then so be it, but as a man, I usually don't understand it.

I feel like Jerry Seinfeld in that episode where his girlfriend cried watching Beaches, cried because she dropped her hotdog, and looked like she was 5. Then again, I don't understand why grown women talk like babies sometimes. "Will you buy me a dwinkie winkie?" When you turn of age...

 

[SallyNow]

Is crying in public immoral? No.

Is it always appropriate? No.

Is it always innappropriate? No.

Someone who cries in public to manipulate others is just being rude.

I also think that sometimes it's okay to cry once in a while about the so-called little things. If someone has had a horrible week, everything went wrong, it's Friday afternoon and they're trying to photocopy one last report and the machine eats it, well, I could understand if they needed to cry. However, I hope they would either start laughing at crying such a thing, or go to the washroom and calm down a bit. So often crying over a "little thing" is really crying over a series of nasty things. I don't see it as a failing or a character flaw... it just happens sometimes.

I think crying at a theatre is just like laughing at a theatre: it's cathartic.

And if something larger has happened, then really, people are going to cry in public. If they find out there's been a big event in their lives, their loved one's lives, something that happened around them, or something of great significance to the world, I can sympathise with crying in public.

Crying (releasing tears) has known physiological benefits. Most of us could likely stand to do a bit more weeping, health-wise.

Losing control in public, or at work, however, can be problematical because of the effect on others. A person's basic urge is usually to comfort the weeper, or leave them to it, but if one is not intimately familiar with the person weeping, it's almost impossible to perceive which approach is appropriate, hence the feeling uncomfortable.

I guess from that all you can say is that the discomfort it may cause onlookers is of less importance, usually, than the need for the weeper to weep.

However, I know that there are occasions when a person will burst into tears at a moment where crying can only be seen as manipulative. A person who cries at a meeting, for example, out of frustration that things are not going their way, derails the concentration and thought processes of others at the meeting.

Sometimes crying at meetings has a reason, though. If someone is being used a scapegoat, or something is really going wrong for them, it is understandable that they may get frustrated and even drop a few tears.

However, I agree crying just to get one's way in a meeting is, well, kind of silly.

 

[stan1980]

When John Terry cried last Wednesday it made me smile. Thank goodness for bottlers like John Terry. Shame he scored last night. I was kinda hoping for more tears.

Yes, words can't describe how happy I was to see that (allegedly) racist, xenophobic poor excuse for a human being miss his penalty and break down and cry like a baby He parks in disabled spaces y'know, because he's John Terry and can afford to pay the fines.

 

[keith99]

One should be very very careful about criticising a man for crying in public. Some of the time it is a very useful social relief valve. Bother a crying man and you just may find the other escape valve is tearing someone apart.

One should also be careful about judging just what 'little thing' set off crying in a man, woman or child. The final incident may not be the real source or the tears, just the straw that broke the camels back. Anyone remember the MASH episode where Hot Lips breaks down because a dog got run over?

 

[pgp_protector]

Crying about what ?
If I just saw my wife & child get killed, I as a Jarhead would cry.
But if I just ran over the rodent down the street, I wouldn't cry a bit.

 

[Mling]

I used to have a problem with authority figures when I was in high school Even if it was somebody I liked, and considered a friend, and even if they weren't mad at me...a simple question like, "So why didn't you get your homework done," and I'd be on the verge of tears.

Got over it eventually. The last three times I've *actually* cried in public were a few months ago--funeral; a few years ago--memorial service; and freshman year of high school--horribly failed the final I needed an A on to pull a B in the class. Oh, no, more than that. There were a few more funerals during high school.

I've gotten pretty close other times. The boy who's funeral I went to had Juvenile Huntington's disease. I nearly started crying in class when I was helping him do Algebra and realized that, though he could barely communicate and had all sorts of uncontrollable movement, he did *not,* as I had previously thought, have mental retardation.

 

[katautumn]

Is it immoral? Seriously though, what do you make of people who cry in public or in the workplace, does it show weakness or does it just mean they aren't afraid to show their emotions? I always feel a tad uncomfortable when I see someone crying over little things, and sometimes a little infuriating. Maybe I need to work at sympathy a little harder?

Back when I worked outside the home, I had a strict "No Crying at Work" policy. I always hated it when people would get fussed at by the boss and would run to the restroom to sob. Oh, there were times I had really horrible days at work and would cry at home, but never at work.

I wouldn't say it is immoral to cry in public, I just think there are times when people want the attention so badly that they refuse to restrain themselves from doing it.

 

[oneofthem]

Yes! Crying in public is very immoral and it should be outlawed!

JK.

Seriously, i think it depends on the situation. No, not the "how big" or "how small" the issue seems in your mind. Someone who is severely depressed can become extremely emotional if someone cancels their plans to hang out with them that day. Guy or girl. That is a trivial matter, but it is not for some who suffer from a very real condition.

Public public...i see people cry in church occassionally. I have cried in church. I think it's healthy, because at least it means people are being real and aren't playing "happy masks" every Sunday.

At work? Can't say i've really dealt with it. I have burst into tears a couple of times. Once when i was being sexually harassed, another when i had worked about 70 hours in a week and my mind was not well.

I think you should look at your own heart. How were you brought up? Were you allowed to cry? Were you smacked or shamed for crying in public? Did you not receive comfort? What feelings come up for you when you see someone cry in public? What is it that makes it so uncomfortable?

In saying that, someone made a really good point here...the one about how if it's a work colleague or someone we don't know very well, we don't know what's appropriate if we're in a position when they're in need of emotional comfort.