Crush on a famous actor

[Lik3]

I have a crush on a famous actor and have spent a long time liking and posting facebook comments on this actor. I have been having crushes on guys for a long time. Is this a sign that I need to go out more? I am 38 years old, bipolar, and have crushes on people ever since I was a kid. My crush in college was my most memorable. It became an obsession to the point where I felt like I made a fool of myself for him, even though he had a girlfriend, who was a good friend of mine. He didn't seem to like me but he tried to be nice to me, but it was as if I wouldn't listen. I will never get that kind of reaction from a pro wrestler, singer, or actor.

Is it possible for bipolars to have crushes that can cause sleepless nights, nervousness, or irritability? I even like to watch movies about women who obsess with unavailable men I guess because I can relate. This famous actor is successful and I think about him every waking moment. Is this normal or is this from the bipolar? Are crushes symptoms of mania? Do bipolars tend to have as great an insight into their disorder like OCD sufferers do to theirs?

 

[redblue22]

Lots of people go through times of having crushes on people who are unavailable; for example, they are taken, too far away, don't know you, etc. I have certainly had times where I had a crush on someone. Being bipolar, I also know I can be drawn toward delusions and fantasies that seem too real. And since bipolar is a mood disorder, the emotions come with it. Having OCD, well, I can get obsessional about anything including people. Taking interest in someone who is unavailable keeps me safe from actual dangers in real relationships. If I were to add that I have had a problem with abusive relationships in the past, you would understand my temptation to avoid available real relationships. And having mental illness, I don't want that added rejection on top of it.

We all have different levels of insight. Even people without mental illness can be in the dark and act like they can see. People with OCD know the right words to say, but they can be in the dark too. Someone might ask for help--and people offer help--but asking for help might be their OCD. Consider the people who know that confessing is their ocd, but then they come on cf and confess not even knowing they are doing it in their posts. But bipolars and schizophrenics can gain insight themselves. So, it is a scale where we are all at different levels. And I think it comes and goes. Sometimes people--with or without mental illness--can close their eyes to things they don't want to see.

 

[Lik3]

Thank you.