• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Cross Denomination Relationships

Flipper

Flippant Dolphin
Feb 19, 2003
4,259
202
53
✟27,928.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
half of my dad's family is Lutheran but can't formulate what a Lutheran believes...

Same goes with the Catholics in my family and the Methodists in my husband's family.

I was telling my MIL, a Methodist, about the Baptists trying to "save" my son, and she couldn't understand why it bothered DH and I. She goes to church every week - you would have thought by now something would have stuck, and it is a traditional service with traditional hymns!
 
Upvote 0

synger

Confessional Liturgical Lutheran
Site Supporter
Sep 12, 2006
14,588
1,571
60
✟76,293.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I think it also depends on how "religious" the people are, and how important doctrine is to them. The trouble with that is that oftentimes over the course of a marriage, spiritual issues become more or less important, and you don't always know at the beginning which way it will go.

My husband was Baptist. I was Presbyterian. I did not want to worship in a Baptist church (style rather than doctrine, though). He did not care. So we went to the Presbyterian church. I became a member; he didn't. Later, I fell in love with studying theology and history, and read the Reformed confessions and catechism. I was ordained an elder. However, DH never really felt like he belonged there (again, I think it was style rather than doctrine).

When our daughter was born, I wanted her baptized. He did not. He wanted her to be old enough to make a confession of faith. It was the first time we'd really disagreed on a doctrine. His Baptist roots hadn't mattered before, since we were both already baptized.

WHen we moved, we wanted to find a closer church, and wanted to find something we could both agree with and be comfortable in. The closest (two blocks away) was an LCMS Lutheran church. We attended.

I was sure he'd hate the liturgy and the overall "Catholicness" of the service. I liked the liturgy and how it was so steeped in Scripture, and I loved the music. He didn't particularly like the liturgy, but he loved the sermon. The pastor is a retired Army chaplain, and is straight-forward and to the point. Law and Gospel, and down to earth. DH loved it. So we continued attending.

I began studying Lutheran doctrine (just like I did Presbyterian doctrine when I was a Presbyterian elder). We taught an adult course on comparative religions (my husband has studied non-Christian religions, and I have studied Christian denominations, so we're a good team).

Eventually, I wanted to become a member of the church. DH didn't care, but didn't see why it was important. He'd never actually been an official member of a church before. It was important to me. So we did.

I tell you all this to say that we could never have predicted the issues that would come up 10 years into our marriage when our daughter was born. Before that it was fine that I attended my Presby church and DH didn't have to. But we wanted and needed a place to attend together.

Now we are actively engaged in the worship and community of our church, and are VERY glad God put our house so close to this church. We have grown spiritually more than I ever could have imagined.

But it would have been easier if we'd come from the same place to begin with.
 
Upvote 0
Mar 24, 2012
21
0
✟22,631.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
With the current state of ELCA... for a LCMS to marry an ELCA, that would be more of a cross faith marriage than a cross denominational.

I find this statement very interesting. Especially as after talking with the ELCA fellow, I have met some conservative ELCA members that are more traditionally rooted than some of the LCMS people I know!
 
Upvote 0
Mar 24, 2012
21
0
✟22,631.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
Yet they still affiliate themselves with an entity that supports a homosexual lifestyle. They can call themselves traditional, but if they were, they'd change denominations.

It's funny you mention that, because that did come up. They made a comment about the ELCA saying congregations should support homosexuality, unless it went against their beliefs. I cannot say for sure, I never researched it. They also made several comments on various differences in scriptural interpretations. Basically, (I think) which verses were teaching examples and which were teachings themselves. In all honesty, I am not very deep in theology so most of their reasons for not joining the LCMS seemed a tad above me.

Does the same logic follow through the other way though? Should an LCMS member that believes homosexuals should get the same treatment but otherwise follows the LCMS beliefs change denominations to a more liberal group?
 
Upvote 0

Aibrean

Honest. Maybe too Honest.
Mar 18, 2007
6,298
347
42
Xenia, Ohio
Visit site
✟30,899.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
If you don't believe 100% with the tenents of your church, yes you should leave. As far as scripture goes, I've never read of a homosexual relationship where God looked upon it favorably in the Bible. "Abomination" and "unnatural" I see plenty of, and I'm not sure how that could be interpreted as anything inside God's will. I see it as an excuse for the ELCA to reduce their responsibility of the situation. A "believe what you want" mentality can be very damaging to one's spiritual health.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

PreachersWife2004

by his wounds we are healed
Site Supporter
May 15, 2007
38,620
4,181
51
Land O' 10,000 Lakes
✟106,590.00
Gender
Female
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
I find this statement very interesting. Especially as after talking with the ELCA fellow, I have met some conservative ELCA members that are more traditionally rooted than some of the LCMS people I know!

There are many good people who attend ELCA churches. Problem is, they attend a church whose doctrine does not line up with confessional Lutheran teaching or even Scripture. Some of their doctrines almost seems diametrically opposed to Lutheran doctrine. Hence the cross faith versus cross denomination.
 
Upvote 0

gracefulone1980

Give thanks with a grateful heart.
Mar 13, 2011
205
9
NY
✟22,855.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
My in-laws are RC and we are Lutheran. When my husband and I became LCMS Lutherans, my mother in law could not handle it. She was very angry and still cannot understand why we switched, but she also does not want to understand. When they visit our home, they do attend our services and she has a very smug critical look on her face the entire time. My father-in-law on the other hand seems to very much enjoy our church, especially the sermon.
 
Upvote 0

PreachersWife2004

by his wounds we are healed
Site Supporter
May 15, 2007
38,620
4,181
51
Land O' 10,000 Lakes
✟106,590.00
Gender
Female
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
I met a guy who was Catholic and when I finally told my folks, they asked what kind of Catholic he was. I proudly told them that he was a very devout Catholic and my dad just shook his head.

I found out exactly why throughout the course of our rocky 8 month courtship. Even after I ended it, and I was refusing to talk to him, he was badgering me about becoming a Catholic. He would leave messages on my home phone and send me text messages. I was on the verge of filing a restraining order against him when I purposefully ran into him with the guy I was currently dating (who also happens to be my husband).

It was weird and ridiculous. But it made me realize I could never marry someone of a different denomination...I knew I wouldn't have the fortitude to withstand it, because I would want my kids raised WELS and only WELS.
 
Upvote 0

twin.spin

Trust the LORD and not on your own understanding
May 1, 2010
797
266
✟80,266.00
Country
United States
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Private
I find this statement very interesting. Especially as after talking with the ELCA fellow, I have met some conservative ELCA members that are more traditionally rooted than some of the LCMS people I know!

I can on the surface could agree to that. We do have to admit that there are going to be cases in which there are exceptions. I would have to say that if one was honest, no church denomination can claim excemption... even in the WELS I would bet one could find more conservative LCMS member than a WELS. I would though say it would be hard pressed to find a more liberal WELS member than ELCA member and that WELS member remaining in the WELS.

What seperates WELS from LCMS is not as grievous as WELS from ELCA.
 
Upvote 0

DaRev

Well-Known Member
Apr 18, 2006
15,117
716
✟19,002.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
I find this statement very interesting. Especially as after talking with the ELCA fellow, I have met some conservative ELCA members that are more traditionally rooted than some of the LCMS people I know!

I would say that the differences between LCMS and WELS is more practical than doctrinal, and the differences between LCMS and ELCA are more doctrinal than practical.
 
Upvote 0