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RaddMadd

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lol this is a bit weird and its metaphorical, i can write alot better then this but i kind of wrote it on the spot. each paragraph is a progression in time if you don't catch that. hope ya receive the message. God bless!!

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in the field i lay. the beautiful design layed out beneath and around me. the corn stalks rising into the bright blue sunny sky above us. us? i can't see Them, but i can feel Their presence. every since i walked into Their place, the place They claim as Their own. a desire was brought upon me, or maybe was awakened in me. i can't remember a time i was with Them, i must have forgotten, but i know i was.

and here it is, the breathtaking mist! the lights, lights i have never seen anything like! all day everyday i lay in the dust and dirt for Them. They always make Their way back here for me. Their home is my alter, the alter on which i lay myself upon.

i lie here outside the field in the beautiful green grass. i hear across the plains: bells, bells which i used to smile upon. as a thought crossed me "worship God alone" i cryed. i have been walking away slowly, holding Satan's hand, into the beautifully designed field where They take me away.
 

jesusmysaviour76

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This is very good, is perhaps the reason that you weren't overly happy with it because you needed to be a little more descriptive so that we got a picture in our heads of exactly what these things were like, what it was you felt, rather than just telling us how you feel, show us.
 
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RaddMadd

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jesusmysaviour76 said:
This is very good, is perhaps the reason that you weren't overly happy with it because you needed to be a little more descriptive so that we got a picture in our heads of exactly what these things were like, what it was you felt, rather than just telling us how you feel, show us.

hey thanx! yeah i get what your saying about me needing to be more descriptive.

God bless!
 
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