Criteria for successful marriage

[standard]

I think the key one is being of the same calling. The Bible talks about it. You have people of the same mindset, same spirit but only same calling can make a marriage successful. Nothing less will suffice. IMO good character, personality, intelligence, looks, charisma - none of these will make a difference if the basic purpose in life is diverging.

I found out that even (perhaps especially) in the Christian community, there are many sub-communities. Your calling might be to sell everything you have, go to some other country and live there. Or your calling might be to write a book which will change the world. Or whatever, but your spouse should not be just "understanding", rather supportive and walk with you - as a help, not an obstruction.

Your calling in life is divinely inspired. Which makes it obvious that you are not capable of "finding" or "meeting" that special someone at all. God has to do it all for you. Otherwise your marriage will be essentially wrong. You don't want someone who is a good guy, or almost right, you want someone who is still imperfect of the same calling as you, and will be a part of who you are.

If you walk with someone who is not a part of who you are and what you want, you won't get where you want to get. Rather simple, eh? And then you will have to choose man over God, if you do things on your own terms.

 

[LifeInYou]

Similiar callings for partners in a marraige can certainly make the course run smoother, as far as it being essential for a marraige to work......i'm not sure I'm convinced. In my mind, as long as each partner supports the other in their calling, success can be achieved. Ideally, each person's 'calling' will be put out in the open when the pair first meets so they can decide whether or not to pursue things further. Marraige seems complicated on the surface to me, sometimes the whole concept leaves me dissapointed and confused, often because few and far between do we hear of successful unities. And when I think of successful, I mean genuine respect and love for the other until the end. I'm sure there are alot of couples out there who have been married for 65 or more years and such, but are they still happy? Do they sincerely still love eachother? The best example for a potentially successful unity we have to think about is our relationship with God. When we first learned of Him and His love we were set on fire, craving more constantly, taking those few moments out of our day that we would normally watch t.v. to read the word......to HEAR from Him. Later we learned that if we wanted to mature in our relationship with Him, we STILL had to take that time out of our day to meet Him. We had to make that extra effort and even though we couldn't see always see it, it turned out to be worth it. In fact, its the best thing we've ever known. Marraige CAN be wonderful but it's work, it's sacrifice, it's so many things.

 

[standard]

Ideally, each person's 'calling' will be put out in the open when the pair first meets so they can decide whether or not to pursue things further.

>> Of course, that's where you find out the mutual assumptions and expectations.

 

[remy]

I think the key to long marriages is connection and keeping it fresh. at least thats what people tell me. *hasn't a clue *

as for callings, best example i can think of my old youth pastor and his wife both proudly serving the youth. so yeah, i guess things can work out for the best. *still hasn't a clue*

 

[desi]

The key to a long marriage is never giving up.

 

[Hewitt]

Key to marriage = God

You get to pick who you marry and what you do with your life. As long as you give that to God and use it for his glory he will bless you. We need to make sure we don't get caught up in the small things when he's more interested in us loving him and trusting him with our decisions.

 

[enslow]

Mutual Godly respect. When one partner in the marriage gives up on respect, the marriage will be tough.

Enslow

 

[Echoes Peak]

From what I've heard from various married Christians, is that that the fundamental criteria for a successful marriage comes from having its foundations in God. I don't think God will ever choose someone who is wrong with you. But that being given, you have to use the tools that He has given you make it work. That being said, I believe the second main criteria is the willing to compromise. Someone already said that presumably before you enter a relationship for the "long haul", you've already discussed how and where and when and what you're both would like to accomplish in your lives. If both of your plans are divinely inspired than God already has a way in which those plans will be carried out. It will require some patience and energy and time sometimes, but they WILL happen if it that's the way He wants it to be.