Crazy fun things to do with religious door knockers

[eMesreveR]

Well, so far the solutions the Atheists have come up with when dealing with a group of people who promote love, peace and kindness is to do the following:

• Try to convert them to satanism
• Bring out a spoon and lighter and offer their child a simulated hit of heroin by burning sugar in the spoon
• Yell at the top of your lungs a bunch of profanities and threaten their lives
• put on a white bed sheet with ketchup all over it and answer the doorbell with a knife in your hand...

This is the kind of immorality, indecency and spiritual corruption Atheism promotes in our society: they advocate these ideas when confronted by anyone who brings or otherwise evangelises peace, long-suffering, self-control and love to them. We can only thank G-d that they only number around 10% of the population...

Do... do you intend to spark murmurs of "poe's law? poe's law." wherever you roam? Because if so, pretty good job. Propz. Mad propz.

 

[BlackSabb]

Well, so far the solutions the Atheists have come up with when dealing with a group of people who promote love, peace and kindness is to do the following:

• Try to convert them to satanism
• Bring out a spoon and lighter and offer their child a simulated hit of heroin by burning sugar in the spoon
• Yell at the top of your lungs a bunch of profanities and threaten their lives
• put on a white bed sheet with ketchup all over it and answer the doorbell with a knife in your hand...

This is the kind of immorality, indecency and spiritual corruption Atheism promotes in our society: they advocate these ideas when confronted by anyone who brings or otherwise evangelises peace, long-suffering, self-control and love to them. We can only thank G-d that they only number around 10% of the population...

Oh for goodness sakes, what a tear jerker!

Boo hoo. Poor poor Jehovah's Witnesses/Mormons. Nobody loves them!! Boo hoo.

Now, let me tell you a couple of home truths. Firstly, "peaceful" is not just an absence of violence. You don't have to be violent to be not peaceful. There is nothing "peaceful" about religious door knocking. Peaceful, implies by defintion, an absence of imposition of ideas and beliefs towards others. When someone comes uninvited to your home attempting to coerce you into their system of beliefs, that is not "peaceful".

So let's forget the Shakespearian dramatics:

And here's another home truth. I've had many experiences with religious people. And I laugh at your suggestion that they're "peaceful" and "loving" and "longsuffering", etc. More often than not, they're as bad as everyone else and in many cases even worse. I've found them often to be rude, unkind, unloving, impatient, self righteous etc.

I laugh indeed brother!

 

[stan1980]

Well, so far the solutions the Atheists have come up with when dealing with a group of people who promote love, peace and kindness is to do the following:

• Try to convert them to satanism
• Bring out a spoon and lighter and offer their child a simulated hit of heroin by burning sugar in the spoon
• Yell at the top of your lungs a bunch of profanities and threaten their lives
• put on a white bed sheet with ketchup all over it and answer the doorbell with a knife in your hand...

This is the kind of immorality, indecency and spiritual corruption Atheism promotes in our society: they advocate these ideas when confronted by anyone who brings or otherwise evangelises peace, long-suffering, self-control and love to them. We can only thank G-d that they only number around 10% of the population...

Wooh, and those two were mine! <proud>

 

[OphidiaPhile]

Wooh, and those two were mine! <proud>

I am surprised that the Boa and rat were not mentioned.

 

[jcook922]

Well, so far the solutions the Atheists have come up with when dealing with a group of people who promote love, peace and kindness is to do the following:

• Try to convert them to satanism
• Bring out a spoon and lighter and offer their child a simulated hit of heroin by burning sugar in the spoon
• Yell at the top of your lungs a bunch of profanities and threaten their lives
• put on a white bed sheet with ketchup all over it and answer the doorbell with a knife in your hand...

This is the kind of immorality, indecency and spiritual corruption Atheism promotes in our society: they advocate these ideas when confronted by anyone who brings or otherwise evangelises peace, long-suffering, self-control and love to them. We can only thank G-d that they only number around 10% of the population...

That or people get fed up with people trying to help where it's not wanted. Where I last lived there were mormons all over doing mission work, and they would always come to my door. Now I wasn't rude to them for a while, I have a good deal of mormon friends. But after a while of telling them that I didn't want to be solicited, they continued to come and I would slam the door on them, or tell them to join Scientology.

 

[stan1980]

I am surprised that the Boa and rat were not mentioned.

I'm surprised that atheists haven't been blamed for the bubonic plague, the arms race and the idea that razors need 5 blades yet.

 

[jbm611973]

The sad thing of it is they really think they are working their way to the kingdom. They study 5 days a week on scripture taken out of context thinking they are winning souls to God. We need to study our Bibles and confront them before they lead more people to hell.

 

[stan1980]

The sad thing of it is they really think they are working their way to the kingdom. They study 5 days a week on scripture taken out of context thinking they are winning souls to God. We need to study our Bibles and confront them before they lead more people to hell.

I suppose you know for a fact you're working your way to 'the kingdom'. <sighs>

 

[Staccato]

Oh man this is so unfair. I've only ever had one person come knocking on doors around where I live. It's quite a secluded and tight-knit community though, one of those places where everybody knows everyone else, so I guess it's not too unexpected. And whilst I've been in the UK I haven't seen any. At all. Do they really exist over here?

Although to be honest I'd probably either politely tell them I wasn't interested or invite them in for a glass of lemonade. I always have these elaborate plans for getting rid of telemarketers selling double glazing or whatever involving a friend make noises like they're bursting through a door in the background, have them theaten me, me pop a bunch of bubblewrap to sound like gunfire and then just leave the phone hanging dead.

But I always end up hearing them out and then apologising for not being interested. I'm a wimp

 

[stan1980]

Oh man this is so unfair. I've only ever had one person come knocking on doors around where I live. It's quite a secluded and tight-knit community though, one of those places where everybody knows everyone else, so I guess it's not too unexpected. And whilst I've been in the UK I haven't seen any. At all. Do they really exist over here?

Yes, they do, although I haven't seen one since I was a student, which was 6 years ago now.

 

[Staccato]

Yes, they do, although I haven't seen one since I was a student, which was 6 years ago now.

Hmm, probably not suprising that they're so rare to be honest. I think the nature of religion in the UK is that it is a much more private affair than in the US.

 

[cantata]

My parents said they had some JWs over while I was at college a few months ago.

 

[Staccato]

So it does happen. You just have to be lucky it seems.

Or unlucky. Depending on your point of view.

 

[stan1980]

So it does happen. You just have to be lucky it seems.

Or unlucky. Depending on your point of view.

You quite often see religious types on the streets though in busy town and city centres. I stopped to chat to one the other week. That seems to be their new 'tactic'.

 

[Staccato]

You quite often see religious types on the streets though in busy town and city centres. I stopped to chat to one the other week. That seems to be their new 'tactic'.

Oh yes, that's just jogged my memory actually. Around seven or eight months ago I was walking through the middle of York and I saw a guy with one of those 'sandwich boards' on. On one side it said "Jesus loves you" and, on the other, "The end is nigh".

I would have stopped to talk to him but I was late already. I thought people walking around with signs saying "The end is nigh" was just a cliched stereotype. I was a bit suprised to see that it actually happens.

 

[stan1980]

Oh yes, that's just jogged my memory actually. Around seven or eight months ago I was walking through the middle of York and I saw a guy with one of those 'sandwich boards' on. On one side it said "Jesus loves you" and, on the other, "The end is nigh".

I would have stopped to talk to him but I was late already. I thought people walking around with signs saying "The end is nigh" was just a cliched stereotype. I was a bit suprised to see that it actually happens.

Reminds of me of some guy, every lunch time I used to see him at Oxford Circus in London with his megaphone preaching about God. He seemed to be working on his own, and he didn't appear to be collecting money or recruiting, I did always wonder what could motivate him to stand there every single day.

 

[jcook922]

Reminds of me of some guy, every lunch time I used to see him at Oxford Circus in London with his megaphone preaching about God. He seemed to be working on his own, and he didn't appear to be collecting money or recruiting, I did always wonder what could motivate him to stand there every single day.

When I went to Basic Training at Lackland, my last week when I graduated and became an Airman I went to the Alamo with my folks(San Antonio is where Lackland is) and saw this man in a sort of jumpsuit getup that was patterned after the American Flag, yelling about hellfire and sin et cetera... I came back a few months ago to Lackland for a training related trip, and saw the SAME damn guy I saw when I graduated basic training standing there, and it's been a good while since I got out of BMT.

 

[tapero]

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