CR question, i need feedback pls help...

[Linda1010]

I had a situation with Celebrate Recovery, my pastors went on vacation and they left the executive pastor in charge, i was supposed to be her trainne, she didnt give me any feedback i felt like she was running everything on her own.
One night at the meeting one lady broke the confidentiality of the group, she called social services and the police because another lady there was sharing that where she lived they did drugs and a baby was in danger.
The pastor in charge didnt say anything, the lady called the police and social services were on there way to that ladys house the one that was sharing.
The next day i called the exc pastor and i tell her, hey about last night the confidentiality was broken, i'm worried about the other women in the group, yada yada yada...
The next Sunday morning i spoke with the lady who shared that the baby was in danger and i tell her, i want you to feel safe in the group and keep sharing, ill approach the lady who made the call to the police and probably she wont be comming to the meetings.
This unmature woman, tells the executive pastor and she comes to me and tells me ...did you tell miss ? that the other lady (the lady who callled the police and social services) will not be comming to the meeting? Because she said, here we dont ditch people. I stayed quiet.
Then after service at the fellowship i was talking to that lady that made the call about other stuff that had nothing to do about CR, the executive pastor jumped in and told me ...are you still talking to her about the calling social services, i dont want to rough her up, right in front of me.
At this point i felt really hurt.
The next day i called our pastor who was vacationing i thought this was really important, i tell him about what was going on, he tells me ok ill call the executive pastor and talk to her.
Now she dosent talk to me, she is mad at me, and the pastor told me that the lady who broke the confidentiality was remorseful and repented and they are letting her stay.
So now i feel so lost and hurt...
What do you think? DId i did wrong? Next time no matter what i hear, ill shut my mouth.
Please give me your feedback...
http://www.myspace.com/lindagmartinez (my personal site) if you have a myspace page add me to your friends, i'm feeling so sad, i need feedback, thanks...

 

[DRL]

When it comes to very important things like you wrote about, we tell our CR pastor or the one they left in charge. No one of the membership takes it upon themselves to call the police or CPS.
Last Tuesday, one of the ladies left the step study. Her friend turned to me and said, "I hope she does not commit suicide". I immediately left the room to contact the CR minister. That is what we are supposed to do. That is the way my group handles things like that.
The lady, who left the step study, was at the Friday night meeting. So she did not commit suicide.
Diana

 

[TCat]

DRL is correct in that we are supposed to turn potential dangerous situations over to our top CR leadership. Small group and Step leaders not to mention CR group members are not in postions to contact social services or the police without going up the chain of command. That is probably something that needs to be addressed in your groups.

Without trying to make to many judgement calls it appears that the exec. pastor did not follow through when the trouble first became apparent. Did you talk to the pastor about the broken confidentiality that night? Did you have the go ahead and authority to address the ladies involved?
A child in danger is a concern, no doubt that needed to be addressed but it sounds as if the whole thing were mishandled on many levels.

So now what? A time of repentance, healing, rebuilding and grace appear to be in order. What does God say to your heart about all of this. Please try not to dwell on shoulda, coulda, woulda's, instead take your hurt and burden to the Lord and seek His will here. Thank God for grace and forgiveness for all parties involved, we learn and grow through our mistakes and yeah, sometimes we get hurt.

IF you are in leadership please do not try to suggest that "next time ill keep my mouth shut". As a leader that is not the way we lead, nor is that the example we are to set. But by prayer and petition we take all things to God. Make amends with those who hurt us and those we have hurt and forgive as we have been forgiven.

Yeah, I understand the situation stinks, but God can use it to help you and your group grow if you are willing to talk about it openly, honestly, address the issue and pray together about the whole thing.

I hope this helps, from one CR member to another, hang in there sister