Court Tomorrow

[bugaboo]

I'm going to court tomorrow morning for child custody. I'm really nervous. I've only ever been in court once before, and it wasn't for myself. I don't expect my children's father to show up, I am 95% certain he won't. He hasn't seen them in over four years. It will be nice to finally get this out of the way, but I still have butterflies in my stomach.

 

[GolfingMom]

 

[bugaboo]

Thanks Golfing Mom

 

[TCat]

How did your case work out?

 

[bugaboo]

Shockingly enough, he actually showed up. We were alone in the waiting room for a few minutes and told me he might want visitation, but wasn't sure if it was a good idea (it really isn't). And now I'm really worried he'll want to be in the kid's lives again. He was abusive, and a chronic liar, and he's been gone for so long the kids don't really remember him. I think he's just trying to put on a good show for the lawyers and judge.

Anyway, he showed up without his paperwork done and requested a whole month longer to get it done. So we have to go back again in July. If he hadn't shown up there would have been an uncontested trial and I would have got whatever I asked for. But since he did, I now need a lawyer, which I can't afford. The duty counsellor told me to apply for legal aid. And they want to put a lien on my house. My mortgage company said I couldn't incorporate the lien into my mortgage (???). And legal aid won't let me pay it off in installments.

I'm so angry and frustrated!! I never even wanted to take him to court in the first place. I'm on a disability pension and was told I had to get "all monies owed to me" aka child support. But when this is through, it will end up costing me at least $6000. The child support will be deducted from my disability pension and I'll never benefit from it. And now add that it could be very emotionally damaging to my children if their father gets back into their lives. Arghhh!

 

[lottepotte]

Is that father so dangerous that even in your presence he could badly influence your children? Is that an opption that you excplane to children that their father has these problems and they can see him only in your presence? We have a relative who has badly influenced our daughter with perverse things. After I got to know this from our child, I excplaned that this relative is sick and we will never leave her with him alone that she would not get sick too. But we can not avoid this person forever, but I can teach our kids and guard them while they are not grown up. If the court decides that the father can also participate in their lifes, it would be much more difficult while children visiting their father. Because legally you will not have control over his influence. That is why I as the lawyer think it is sometimes better to avoid the court. If you manage to avoid the visitations now, they must be prepared for the time while they start to wish seeking their father themselves anyways.

But until the solution try to think on positive things God has blessed you with!

 

[heart of peace]

Oh, bugaboo Remember that God is in control, just do what you need to do and let Him worry about how everything pans out. Focus on your children and in the knowing that truth always comes out in the end.