Counseling question

[Vicissa]

Okay, can someone please tell me the difference, if any, between normal counseling and pastoral counseling, other than who does it? I've been to regular counseling before, but not pastoral counseling. I also would like to know about marriage counseling, what's that like?

In light of our current relational problems, we are trying to get to counseling...

 

[Exiled]

Hi,
I understand pastoral counseling to mean that it's faith-based counseling. I think both are beneficial, but a decision between the two is a personal preference, and would center upon the content of the improvements you would like to focus on. If you decide on pastoral counseling, please make sure the person is quailified and possesses the needed credentials. I say this because I know a minister who believes that being a minister is all that is needed to offer counseling, but I strongly disagree with that. I've been through marriage counseling twice and neither was effective (but I don't want to influence you with my bad experiences). Marriage counseling is worth trying but both parties have to be willing to be honest, kind, and be willing to work hard.

 

[Ari5]

I would definately recommend a christian counselor, I have heard that others sometimes will not be consistant in not heading for the divorce door.

We were in counseling & it is a little hard the first couple times, but then it is nice to be able to air your problems & have someone help you learn how to deal with them in a different way. My husband was very quiet & when we had an argument he closed down so things never got talked through. So he learned how to communicate better & I am learning how to try to draw him out a little too.

We learned alot of things, basically we were in a bad situation when we went in there & now over 1 year later we are doing better. Marriage is a constant work & everyone needs help at some point, so go try it,I'm sure it will help! Ari

 

[Cordy]

I second what Exiled said about qualifications. I know a few pastors who think they are experts in relationships, when in reality, they are not.

On the subject, find out the credentials of any counselor you go to (pastor or not). I don't know if it is the same today, but a psychology professor once told us that there is no standard attached to the word "counselor", so anyone could essentially hang a sign outside their door and call themselves a counselor. Make sure they have the proper background to be doing what they are doing.

 

[bliz]

Pastors may or may not have had any particular training in counseling. Some of them feel they are competent to counsel without training in psychology or therapy. I have seen some of these people do major harm - encouraging people to stop medications, failing to recognize signs of serious emotional or mental problems, giving people dsangerous advice because they do not understand how some mental problems manifest themselves. However, many seminaries now offer courses and tracks in psychology and counseling.

I know that a therapist or counselor or psychologist who does not respect one's CHristian faith can also do great damage. It bothers me that in many states people with an MSW are deemed competent to counsel. (No disrespect to anyone, I just don't see that course of study as preparing people well to be counselors.)

Ask for referrals when searching for a counselor, pastoral or otherwise. If it doesn't feel right, if you aren't connecting or don't like your counselor, find another after a few sessions.

 

[Antje]

I agree with most of what has been said. Professionally credentialled counsellors are trained to deal with the bulk of what comes up in relationships, such as communication issues and past hurts, etc.

Pastoral counseling basically means that you're going to have a chat with your pastor. Some pastors have special training for counselling, but most do not. Pastoral counselling is good for spiritual issues, and maybe some other very minor issues (i.e., if you expect to only need one or two sessions to deal with something).

In general, for relationship issues, a professional counsellor is best. I believe that as long as your counsellor isn't outright opposed to religion, they will be a couple's best help because they can cover the most ground. Rarely is a marital problem merely spiritual, although it could also be good to see a pastor and to let her/him know what you're going through so that she/he can offer you support and prayer as well.

 

[christcentered]

Okay, can someone please tell me the difference, if any, between normal counseling and pastoral counseling, other than who does it? I've been to regular counseling before, but not pastoral counseling. I also would like to know about marriage counseling, what's that like?

In light of our current relational problems, we are trying to get to counseling...

Try both.

When there was difficulty in my marriage, the pastor I talked with said "when you go to a Dr. he gives you an Rx for what ails your body.......what I'm writing down for you are some scriptures.....an Rx for your heart....read those and see what they say to you." My ex refused to counsel with a pastor but I took a LOT from it. Very beneficial.

The relationship counselor was also great. Not faith based but that's OK because I know who I am, where I am & where my heart is. A lot was revealed and also affirmed about myself, my ex and our relationship. Also very beneficial.

 

[GolfingMom]

I would suggest trying a Christian Therapist. A local church should have a list of resources...