I ve been searching this site. Talking about my fast. How i am doing it to break the bondage of gluttony. I've read tons of books on fasts and detoxing and eating healthy with my main goal to loose weight fully connect with God and start over a new healthy lifestyle obviously in a thin body.
I have realized that the weight issue has made me obsessive. For the past year I have done binge eating and purging. Although not frequent it consumes my thoughts. I have not discussed this with NO ONE... I just pray that these thoughts that consume me dissappear and i do believe if i fast AND PRAY!! It will happen and destroy the bondage i feel i am in . I know i have low self esteem. Mostly after having children when your body just isnt the same. But honestly I believe the Lord has revealed that the self esteem issue actually roots back to my child hood and even from my father. I never recieved approval from him.. Never was told i was beautiful... I mean i know that our self worth as women comes from our father. He wasnt a mean father or hit me or abusive in any way he was just very shut down emotionally and although we have a great relationship now i still feel like i am not good enough if i dont keep excelling. Loosing weight, work school. I mean i have pushed my self and sacrificed time from my daughters just to get my bachelors and now masters just to somehow prove to him .... I honestly think that hole side of the family is like that and it stemed from my grandmother. She was very blunt and very exterior led. How you looked dressed weighed even down to the color of your skin. I AM GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS AND I WILL OVERCOME>> I AM AN OVERCOMER>> WE ALL ARE>>>> Thank s for listening and finally i let it all out.. I mean there is still more but i already feel realised.. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ALL>
I have realized that the weight issue has made me obsessive. For the past year I have done binge eating and purging. Although not frequent it consumes my thoughts. I have not discussed this with NO ONE... I just pray that these thoughts that consume me dissappear and i do believe if i fast AND PRAY!! It will happen and destroy the bondage i feel i am in . I know i have low self esteem. Mostly after having children when your body just isnt the same. But honestly I believe the Lord has revealed that the self esteem issue actually roots back to my child hood and even from my father. I never recieved approval from him.. Never was told i was beautiful... I mean i know that our self worth as women comes from our father. He wasnt a mean father or hit me or abusive in any way he was just very shut down emotionally and although we have a great relationship now i still feel like i am not good enough if i dont keep excelling. Loosing weight, work school. I mean i have pushed my self and sacrificed time from my daughters just to get my bachelors and now masters just to somehow prove to him .... I honestly think that hole side of the family is like that and it stemed from my grandmother. She was very blunt and very exterior led. How you looked dressed weighed even down to the color of your skin. I AM GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS AND I WILL OVERCOME>> I AM AN OVERCOMER>> WE ALL ARE>>>> Thank s for listening and finally i let it all out.. I mean there is still more but i already feel realised.. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ALL>
starving yourself to lose wieght is harmful. a fast is different; but ED symptoms swing in the manner you are describing. in my opinion ofcourse. i worry about us all. 
