- Dec 15, 2005
- 34,042
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- United States
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- Married
Okay, I don't know exactly why I have been driven to write this, but I do hope that it helps someone.
In my lifetime, I have been given up at the age of 22 months old. I was pretty much neglected: mal-nutritioned, had impeteigo, as well as the thrush. (God showed his love right off the bat for me, for I was adopted by my great aunt and uncle. The only parents I will ever have. They gave me a wonderful christian home and loved me no matter what, and believe me I really put them through it!) I have been raped more than once, I've been through two abusive relationships.....physical, mental, sexual, emotional. At one time, I dealt in some satanic things and got really messed up from that. Been through my share of loss, been homeless, felt hopeless, worthless, you name it. Did crystal meth one night, nearly died. (This was a couple years after going into the hospital with a bladder infection, the doc gave me an antibiotic that worked against me, spread the infection, got into my blood stream and I nearly died from that.) March 13, 2004, a couple days after almost dying from the crystal meth, I gave my all to God. October of that same year, I almost died from a bee sting. Feb of 2005, I made my 7th trip to the psych ward of the hospital. Dec 2005,my cat died and my dog was hit by a car. Jan. of this year, I lost my only brother in a car accident.
This is just a tip of what's happened in my life. I just want to give the highlights.
I have bipolar I with Borderline traits (Borderline Personality Disorder) and just this past Friday I was diagnosed with PTSD on top of that. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Most therapists think it's amazing that I'm even still here. The abuse is bad enough, let alone all the stuff in between. Some things would probably make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. But, like I said, highlights are good enough.
I have learned that through a lot of prayer, support and coping skills (meds help also) I will pull through. I used to give in to my illness and let it control me. I now take control of it. I have become a warrior and fight my battles every day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make it sound like I just breeze through it. I have my days where I still get down on myself. I feel empty, worthless, etc.
But, when those feelings try to control me, I stop and think about everything I've been through. I've made it through all of this, and I know it's not in vain. I know I didn't survive such experiences to soak in them and give up. No, I survived for a better reason than that.
God has blessed me with being raised in a christian home, and although I have lived the opposite life for so long, God gave me the chance to keep on keeping on.
Sorry this was so long-winded. God Bless!
In my lifetime, I have been given up at the age of 22 months old. I was pretty much neglected: mal-nutritioned, had impeteigo, as well as the thrush. (God showed his love right off the bat for me, for I was adopted by my great aunt and uncle. The only parents I will ever have. They gave me a wonderful christian home and loved me no matter what, and believe me I really put them through it!) I have been raped more than once, I've been through two abusive relationships.....physical, mental, sexual, emotional. At one time, I dealt in some satanic things and got really messed up from that. Been through my share of loss, been homeless, felt hopeless, worthless, you name it. Did crystal meth one night, nearly died. (This was a couple years after going into the hospital with a bladder infection, the doc gave me an antibiotic that worked against me, spread the infection, got into my blood stream and I nearly died from that.) March 13, 2004, a couple days after almost dying from the crystal meth, I gave my all to God. October of that same year, I almost died from a bee sting. Feb of 2005, I made my 7th trip to the psych ward of the hospital. Dec 2005,my cat died and my dog was hit by a car. Jan. of this year, I lost my only brother in a car accident.
This is just a tip of what's happened in my life. I just want to give the highlights.
I have bipolar I with Borderline traits (Borderline Personality Disorder) and just this past Friday I was diagnosed with PTSD on top of that. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Most therapists think it's amazing that I'm even still here. The abuse is bad enough, let alone all the stuff in between. Some things would probably make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. But, like I said, highlights are good enough.
I have learned that through a lot of prayer, support and coping skills (meds help also) I will pull through. I used to give in to my illness and let it control me. I now take control of it. I have become a warrior and fight my battles every day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make it sound like I just breeze through it. I have my days where I still get down on myself. I feel empty, worthless, etc.
But, when those feelings try to control me, I stop and think about everything I've been through. I've made it through all of this, and I know it's not in vain. I know I didn't survive such experiences to soak in them and give up. No, I survived for a better reason than that.
God has blessed me with being raised in a christian home, and although I have lived the opposite life for so long, God gave me the chance to keep on keeping on.
Sorry this was so long-winded. God Bless!
