Oh gosh, yes, you have to walk away from a Protestant mind set . . at first you try to reconcile the two, but eventually you realize you have to give up one altogether . .
And even when you make the conscious effort to do so, it still affects how you perceive things for some time to come. Our priest in RCIA said we were divesting ourselves of old beliefs and mind sets . . it is very true . .
Another poster here asked me to give my conversion story . . I would have to sit down with some time to do so, but to answer the question originally posted, here is part of it - and oh yes, there were some big hurdles to overcome in my conversion . . . Mary and the Saints were a big one, the communion of saints. . it was the biggest actually. It took a lot of time to overcome as well . .
Jumping to a few years ago, I came across some information about the Reformation that so shocked me it stood my Christian world on end, and shattered much of what I believed to be true, but left me on the solid rock of Christ with a stronger faith than before . . and, eventually a determination to understand what the truth of the Christian faith was.
I realized that most of what I had believed about the Reformation and the Reformers had been whitewashed, and I had come to believe that it probably should never have happened. But I didn't know where to turn to as far as who had most of the truth, but truth is what I wanted.
So, still thinking that the Catholic Church was in error today, and the Orthodox Church as well (which is what I had been brought up in as a child) I decided the only way I could know which Church was closer to the truth was to understand what the early Church taught, believed and practiced, but I didn't think that I would find much . .
I found
lots, and I found the faith as practiced by the Catholic and Orthodox Churches .. the Sacraments, the Real Presence, etc . . but I still was not willing to believe that the Catholic Church today was what it was in the beginning . . so I started to study, and everything I found started to peel away the myths and misunderstandings I had about Catholicism/Orthodoxy . . but there are some that are so deeply ingrained into our minds through Protestantism that it takes more than just mentally understanding what the Church believed and taught in the beginning and through the centuries . .
I found a Catholic radio station, I was exposed to the Rosary several times a week and it scared me, I even thought if I listened to it I might be inviting spiritual (even demonic) trouble into my life! But I began to feel compelled to listen to it . . At the beginning, I would actually turn it off when it started to play on the radio, but then "have" to turn it back on within a few moments . . I had to trust God that it was OK to even listen to it! (I shake my head now at such things, but it was real fear in my heart at the time).
It took many, many months of listening to this station, to the rosary, to Catholic Answers live, and to other programs that I came to gradually understand the rosary, and the issue of the communion of saints and our ability to pray to them. I came to an intellectual understanding of this, while at the same time moving deeper into understanding the Catholic faith through study of what I would find on the Internet (what a tremendous resource of us there is here), and through what friends would share and give me to read (and of course the radio station). . .. I listened to conversion stories which I found my life paralleling now in many ways . . at one point, after listening to some, I was in tears (happy tears) as I realized that I was truly no longer protestant . . I wasn't sure what I was, but I knew I was no longer protestant in my Christian faith . .
It wasn't long after that, and understanding the basic teachings of the communion of saints, I was listening to the radio again one night that the rosary came on . . I had, by then, come to the point of accepting the first part of the Hail Mary as scriptural (so that was OK and I could join in with that part), and that the second part reflected our ability to ask the saints who have gone on before us to pray for us - the communion of saints - was probably OK and real . .but I was still not 100% sure and I wanted so much to really know . .
The rosary came on, I was driving in my car and I began to cry, and I, very simply with all my heart, turned to God and asked Him "Is this You? Is this really You?"
Immediately the car filled with God's presence, this has happened to me a few times in the past at key moments in my spiritual walk . . but something else happened that had never happened before . . Along with God's presence filling my car, Mary was there and all the Saints in heaven were there . .I cannot express this is a way that may make sense to everyone who reads this, but most definitely Mary was there, and the Saints were there, I "knew" this as fully as I know I am typing this message right now, and I felt completely enveloped and surrounded by all of heaven .. nothing took away from God . .the sense of fullness and completeness was unlike anything I had experienced or imagined up to this point, and I wept . . . the comfort and love that filled this small space in my car was incredible . . .
God took what I had been questioning and learning and made it profoundly real to me in a way that settled all questions and doubt on the subject in a moment once and for all.
I wonder if I had simply turned to Him with that simple question much earlier if I would have had to wait so many months to really know (we tend to try to understand things ourselves first, and God is so patient with us )
That did
not mean that all issues I might have with Marian doctrines were settled once and for all, but the most important and foundation one was - that the communion of saints was real, that we could pray to them and ask their help and intercession was settled in that moment! This flew open the door (that had been already opened part way) to my acceptance of the Catholic faith in its fullness as I grew in my understanding of it . .
This was the
big hurdle for me . .all the other hurdles were little in comparison and fell away I dealt with those misconceptions one by one . .
It seems there usually is one big thing that really stands in the way, that when it is finally overcome (and it can take a long time to do so) then everything else begins to fall into place. . .
Regarding other Marian doctrines, I was reading DeMontfort's True Devotion to Mary and was having a great deal of difficulty with many of the concepts he was teaching there . . quite frankly, some of them scared me even . . but I was talking to one of my Catholic friends on the phone about it and she asked me to read one of the prayers, so I read the first prayer of consecration to her over the phone . . as I read that prayer out loud, suddenly all my doubts began to vanish . . I no longer had problems with those things I had read that concerned me . . it was not a result of intellectually understanding these things, but suddenly being given understanding, and faith to believe and accept them as true - there were no thunderings or profound presence of God this time . . I just simply "knew" . . I was astounded - and my friend amused . . .
In writing this here, I remembered something that happened early on that I had forgotten about . . I did not know there was a Catholic radio station in the area, and I am sure it was not on this radio station, but somewhere higher on the dial that I stumbled across a nun talking about the rosary and praying it on air . . (was it Mother Angelica? I don't know) .. But I remember I was greatly intrigued at the time . .so I tried to find her show again but was never able to, but I did find the rosary being prayed with mediations that were incredibly beautiful and profound, and I was deeply moved by them . . . .I could never find this one again either . . a couple of months later, I found the Catholic radio station as I was searching for both of these . .
Now it may seem strange that I was attracted to these few incidences of the rosary before finding it aired regularly on the Catholic station, then having such a fear of it, but I think God gave me a taste of something in those first few experiences that motivated me to search for them again, which lead me to a station where I could really get exposed to the faith and be fed . . even though I started off so timidly regarding this . .
Peace in Him!