Contact with my former-husband,(email) is this considered a form of adultery?

[Hannah66]

My husband and I were married (legally) for 20 years but he chose to commit adultery and left me in 2016. He divorced me in 2018.
I prayed for the marriage and for reconcilliation. He was my closest friend. He didn't want to reconcile and was happy to continue with the relationship with Other women(even though he had a girlfriend) despite being still married to me.
I still love and care for him (in a friendship way). My husband is a christian, although I don't think he married a believer((someone from a non-christian religion). I don't know where his walk is with the Lord, either.
I never see him now.

He continues to email me on my birthday and also he continues to email me on our Wedding Anniversary.
He acknowledges our Wedding Anniversary date(still) and says how much he appreciated being married to me.
I still don't know why he left me though. (but I think he wanted to pursue a love for someone (or others) from a different culture.

The emails that he sends on my birthday end in 'regards'. There is NO love, no romantic talk,
just respectful talk. I have no remarried, nor have I dated any man. The only man I have ever loved is my previous husband.
He shares a little about what he is doing/work etc. He never asks about me, or how I am doing
just says, "I hope you are well".

I still pray for him. He was my best and closest friend.


He emailed me the other day on our WEdding Anniversary - he always says
"Happy Anniversary".

I know he is remarried, so is this wrong that he is emailing me - is this considered 'adultery'? I know he has a lot of women friend outside the marriage as friends( a relative shared that with me)
I don't want this to affect my walk as a believer, and I certainly don't want it to affect his life as a believer,too.

Please don't me harsh in the comments.
I am happy when I do hear from him, at least I know he is safe and well.

 

[Blade]

Hi.. praying for you based on what you said.. no. If it brings thoughts ... then you just cut it off.

 

[Soyeong]

My husband and I were married (legally) for 20 years but he chose to commit adultery and left me in 2016. He divorced me in 2018.
I prayed for the marriage and for reconcilliation. He was my closest friend. He didn't want to reconcile and was happy to continue with the relationship with Other women(even though he had a girlfriend) despite being still married to me.
I still love and care for him (in a friendship way). My husband is a christian, although I don't think he married a believer((someone from a non-christian religion). I don't know where his walk is with the Lord, either.
I never see him now.

He continues to email me on my birthday and also he continues to email me on our Wedding Anniversary.
He acknowledges our Wedding Anniversary date(still) and says how much he appreciated being married to me.
I still don't know why he left me though. (but I think he wanted to pursue a love for someone (or others) from a different culture.

The emails that he sends on my birthday end in 'regards'. There is NO love, no romantic talk,
just respectful talk. I have no remarried, nor have I dated any man. The only man I have ever loved is my previous husband.
He shares a little about what he is doing/work etc. He never asks about me, or how I am doing
just says, "I hope you are well".

I still pray for him. He was my best and closest friend.


He emailed me the other day on our WEdding Anniversary - he always says
"Happy Anniversary".

I know he is remarried, so is this wrong that he is emailing me - is this considered 'adultery'? I know he has a lot of women friend outside the marriage as friends( a relative shared that with me)
I don't want this to affect my walk as a believer, and I certainly don't want it to affect his life as a believer,too.

Please don't me harsh in the comments.
I am happy when I do hear from him, at least I know he is safe and well.

It is possible for a husband and wife to remain friends after they have divorced and it is not adultery for him to remain in contact with you as nothing more than friends after getting remarried to another woman. However, for the sake of establishing trust with the woman he married, he should be transparent with her that he is remaining in friendly contact with you and other female friends.

 

[Hannah66]

thanks. I still love him, despite of what he has done. He was my covenant husband for a very long time.

 

[Hannah66]

thank you for praying,that's very sweet.

 

[TheLastGeek]

My husband and I were married (legally) for 20 years but he chose to commit adultery and left me in 2016. He divorced me in 2018.
I prayed for the marriage and for reconcilliation. He was my closest friend. He didn't want to reconcile and was happy to continue with the relationship with Other women(even though he had a girlfriend) despite being still married to me.
I still love and care for him (in a friendship way). My husband is a christian, although I don't think he married a believer((someone from a non-christian religion). I don't know where his walk is with the Lord, either.
I never see him now.

He continues to email me on my birthday and also he continues to email me on our Wedding Anniversary.
He acknowledges our Wedding Anniversary date(still) and says how much he appreciated being married to me.
I still don't know why he left me though. (but I think he wanted to pursue a love for someone (or others) from a different culture.

The emails that he sends on my birthday end in 'regards'. There is NO love, no romantic talk,
just respectful talk. I have no remarried, nor have I dated any man. The only man I have ever loved is my previous husband.
He shares a little about what he is doing/work etc. He never asks about me, or how I am doing
just says, "I hope you are well".

I still pray for him. He was my best and closest friend.


He emailed me the other day on our WEdding Anniversary - he always says
"Happy Anniversary".

I know he is remarried, so is this wrong that he is emailing me - is this considered 'adultery'? I know he has a lot of women friend outside the marriage as friends( a relative shared that with me)
I don't want this to affect my walk as a believer, and I certainly don't want it to affect his life as a believer,too.

Please don't me harsh in the comments.
I am happy when I do hear from him, at least I know he is safe and well.

Are you having any sort of romantic or sexual connection with him?

Nope.

Therefore, it's not adultery.

He just sounds like a huge womanizer, and you're just one of many women in his life.

Honestly, I hope you move on one day, and find a man who loves and respects you as you deserve.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I concur with the post above, you should move on and focus on letting God heal you. Jesus is your eternal husband and He will never subject you to what your ex husband did to you. Place your time and energy into developing your relationship with God, get closer to Jesus, and forget about that guy. You may love him, but his actions prove that he does not love you. But Jesus loves you and can heal you and grant you so much more and with PEACE. God bless you.

 

[splish- splash]

Either he's just a thoughtful person or its his way, of trying to deal with the guilt from disappointing you. You may be surprised, to learn that, he might not even be sweet like that towards his current wife...

Whichever the reason, it is important to set boundaries, especially now that he is with another woman. I do know for a fact, that I would not want my husband to carry on emailing their ex, like that. When he starts to face problems in his marriage, you may end up becoming his regular shoulder to lean on and because you have been intimate together in the past, you may end up yielding to temptation.

 

[anetazo]

No one is judging you. Jesus is the judge. As God's Elect. I'm advising you to stay away from him. Did he repent sins to God and change his tune?? . Adultery is serious sin. All sins are forgivable by repentance to God. No one has license to sin. If he didn't repent and take accountability for his actions, hes not Christian. King David committed serious sins, and repented and changed his ways. Epistle John 1:6. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth. 1:7. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus christ His son cleans us from all sins. Christian people sin, and repent. Habitual sinners don't care and won't repent. Thiers two categories here. Those who try not to sin. And those who dont care. My advice, don't have contact with him. Jesus will judge him on judgement day. Let God take care him. And move on in life, and blot him out of your mind. Peace.

 

[Michie]

thanks. I still love him, despite of what he has done. He was my covenant husband for a very long time.

Sounds like a manipulation type of situation on his end towards you. If I were you I’d block it. He is married again. How would you feel if the same was done to you? It’s not cool….

 

[Hannah66]

No one is judging you. Jesus is the judge. As God's Elect. I'm advising you to stay away from him. Did he repent sins to God and change his tune?? . Adultery is serious sin. All sins are forgivable by repentance to God. No one has license to sin. If he didn't repent and take accountability for his actions, hes not Christian. King David committed serious sins, and repented and changed his ways. Epistle John 1:6. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth. 1:7. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus christ His son cleans us from all sins. Christian people sin, and repent. Habitual sinners don't care and won't repent. Thiers two categories here. Those who try not to sin. And those who dont care. My advice, don't have contact with him. Jesus will judge him on judgement day. Let God take care him. And move on in life, and blot him out of your mind. Peace.

I agree. No repentence at all. Thanks for your post.

 

[Hannah66]

Sounds like a manipulation type of situation on his end towards you. If I were you I’d block it. He is married again. How would you feel if the same was done to you? It’s not cool….

he and the counterfeit committed adultery. I am not guilty of this. but thanks for your post. It's not cool for a woman to be sleeping with your husband. We were still married and the counterfeit was sleeping with my husband for some years. That's not cool. That's very hurtful ..just after I buried my mother.

 

[RDKirk]

My husband and I were married (legally) for 20 years but he chose to commit adultery and left me in 2016. He divorced me in 2018.
I prayed for the marriage and for reconcilliation. He was my closest friend. He didn't want to reconcile and was happy to continue with the relationship with Other women(even though he had a girlfriend) despite being still married to me.
I still love and care for him (in a friendship way). My husband is a christian, although I don't think he married a believer((someone from a non-christian religion). I don't know where his walk is with the Lord, either.
I never see him now.

He continues to email me on my birthday and also he continues to email me on our Wedding Anniversary.
He acknowledges our Wedding Anniversary date(still) and says how much he appreciated being married to me.
I still don't know why he left me though. (but I think he wanted to pursue a love for someone (or others) from a different culture.

The emails that he sends on my birthday end in 'regards'. There is NO love, no romantic talk,
just respectful talk. I have no remarried, nor have I dated any man. The only man I have ever loved is my previous husband.
He shares a little about what he is doing/work etc. He never asks about me, or how I am doing
just says, "I hope you are well".

I still pray for him. He was my best and closest friend.


He emailed me the other day on our WEdding Anniversary - he always says
"Happy Anniversary".

I know he is remarried, so is this wrong that he is emailing me - is this considered 'adultery'? I know he has a lot of women friend outside the marriage as friends( a relative shared that with me)
I don't want this to affect my walk as a believer, and I certainly don't want it to affect his life as a believer,too.

Please don't me harsh in the comments.
I am happy when I do hear from him, at least I know he is safe and well.

Tell him to CC your husband on all emails.

If he won't do that, you know his intentions are not honorable. Frankly, that kind of activity is classic for a narcissist (although I hate making that kind of casual diagnosis). But it's smarmy under any circumstances.

 

[Hannah66]

Tell him to CC your husband on all emails.

If he won't do that, you know his intentions are not honorable. Frankly, that kind of activity is classic for a narcissist (although I hate making that kind of casual diagnosis). But it's smarmy under any circumstances.

thank you and yes, I agree with what you have stated in your comments. It does break my heart though as I didn't see this in the marriage, but didn't understand narcissim then or see it.Thanks again