James Dobson of Focus on the Family: Masturbation is OK

[Joykins]

you are apparently better at controlling your imagination than i am ...

i consider sexual fantasies about someone other than your spouse lust

When I said imagination, I meant I mean imagining ways that one can touch without lust, even under your definition, viz. the 6 off the top of my head:

1. Not thinking of anything in particular at all.
2. Not thinking of anyone at all.
3. Not thinking of anything sexual
4. Not thinking of a real person
5. Thinking about an absent spouse
6. Doing for a present spouse

 

[Leah]

I agree with Dr Dobson, usually shame and guilt come from false teaching , not the holy spirit

Perhaps guilt is just a reminder of what NOT to do when it comes to grieving the Holy Spirit?

 

[Bill777]

I just want to add that if Dr. Dobson thought that masturbation is inevitable for males in certain circumstances, I'm sure that sexual thoughts are inevitable as well. I don't remember the statistics but every man, christian or not has more than one sexual thought a day. Those are true statistics. It's part of the weakness of the flesh. So if a 16 year old masturbates while thinking of a girl he saw at the gym earlier in the day, so be it. Nowhere in the bible says that this is the kind of sin that gets you into hell. This is God maybe telling you that girls are attractive. Let's not make this kind of nature that God puts in man and God refuses to take away from most men (98%) as something that is serious in the eyes of God, because it is not.

Some folks here are equating sexual thoughts that happen by chance which are nothing in the eyes of God with fornication which is sin in the eyes of God.

 

[JonF]

When I said imagination, I meant I mean imagining ways that one can touch without lust, even under your definition, viz. the 6 off the top of my head:

1. Not thinking of anything in particular at all.
2. Not thinking of anyone at all.
3. Not thinking of anything sexual
4. Not thinking of a real person
5. Thinking about an absent spouse
6. Doing for a present spouse

Good points. Thank you.

 

[grateful heart]

Perhaps guilt is just a reminder of what NOT to do when it comes to grieving the Holy Spirit?

Not always, conviction is, but conviction leads you TO God not away from Him.
It is easy to put guilt on someone espcially on the pulpit or through a book. if you have had something drummed into you for years even though it may be right , you would still feel guilty doing it cause that is what you have been taught

 

[Leah]

Not always, conviction is, but conviction leads you TO God not away from Him.
It is easy to put guilt on someone espcially on the pulpit or through a book. if you have had something drummed into you for years even though it may be right , you would still feel guilty doing it cause that is what you have been taught

Ok. I supposed I can accept that.

 

[loveistheanswer]

Guilt can be used by the Spirit to inform us of things we're doing wrong, by others to encourage us to submit to their morality, by an enemy to lead us astray or depress us. So check with the Spirit whenever you feel guilt to make sure it's from God, and not from other places.

 

[Iollain]

[font=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica] Masturbation[/font] [font=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica]Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions[/font]

[font=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica]Q. My 13-year-old son is in the full bloom of adolescence. I’m suspicious that he may be masturbating when he’s alone, but I don’t quite know how to approach him about it. Should I be concerned, and if so, what should I say to him? [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=+1]There is no scientific evidence to indicate that this act is harmful to the body. [/font]

lol, 'Harry, you'd best not be masterbating in that shower, youve been in there a long time!'

 

[Knowledge3]

No, masturbation is not ok.

I've done it the past so I know what I'm speaking about.

 

[Iollain]

I don't think he is saying it is A-Ok at all, he is trying to answer a person who is obsessed with the thought that their son may be masterbating because he is 13......sounds like the Masterbating Police who are going to call in forensic evidence to me. It is one thing to give your spiritual opinions about this subject to your child and it is another to act like your obsessed with the idea. And another thing, society does not look on masterbating in a good light anyway.......where do ya's think the slang word [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] came from?

 

[Melethiel]

Moved to Christian Philosophy and Ethics.

 

[CaliforniaJosiah]

.



Some thoughts....


1. IMHO, this is an issue completely unaddressed in God's holy inerrant written Word.


2. IMHO, this is a matter of family values. Some families have strong opinions, one way or the other. And I know that the RCC and LDS both have official church positions on this, and for Catholics and Mormons, that needs to be regarded as a factor.


3. IMHO, most seem to agree that the practice (if private and not excessive) is probably harmless - especially among young teens. It seems to be far more problemmatic for married persons when done secretively. Stats I've seen suggest that approx. 95% of teen guys and 65% of teen girls do this with some regularity. I MOST cases, I think MOST child development experts agree it's not much of an issue.


4. IMHO, it CAN be harmful. It can become compulsive, for example. But then too much water can actually kill you (a college student died last year from drinking too much water), that doesn't make water bad - just too much water. The same can be said for all foods, exposure to the sun, etc. The Bible warns that the Holy Eucharist/Communion and Prayer can be misused, such doesn't make those things "evil" per se.


5. For guys in this age of the internet, SADLY, it's not infrequently associated with inappropriate content. I strongly condemn this. But, IMHO, the evil is the inappropriate content. For both genders, it MAY be associated with "lust" (a nearly impossible term to define), but again, the problem is the "lust." We need to indentify and condemn the problem rather than whatever might be associated with it.


6. Many conclude that the guilt sometimes associated with the practice is far more harmful than the practice itself.


7. Again, this is a FAMILY VALUE. Parents need to THINK and PRAY about this, perhaps read some child development experts. And TALK to their kids - BEFORE puberty. Honestly. Openingly. Kids listen to parents more than a lot of parents seem to think. If the parents have a solid point, their children will probably incorporate that value. If it's just "don't cuz I said don't" they likely won't.



My $0.01


Pax!


- Josiah

 

[LightDancer]

I don't think the Bible addresses this as a sin directly... so I thought it was a thought worthy essay... something I will think about.

I also think all people do it, and I agree it's the addiction that one needs to worry about as people are not getting married as young as they used to.

They used to become "engaged" before puberty and marry soon after puberty in ancient times. Our economic society doesn't hold well for young marriages anymore.

Get an education and learn to be wise with your finances before getting married.

 

[davedjy]

If you can do it w/o adding the lust/visual aspect to it, then I don't see how it's a problem, unless not done in
moderation, as like anything it can become an unhealthy addiction and an obsession.

 

[dayhiker]

My opinion is hat since God's word doesn't say its a sin, masturbation isn't a sin.

But, Paul says if you think something is a sin then its sin for you to do that activity. "what every is not of faith is sin."

The problem then becomes then those that think its a sin tell everyone else that they also have to think that its a sin. They preach condemnation to those that are free to do the activity. Yet, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

I've come to the place that if someone want to think that masturbation or eating red meat is a sin, that cool with me, but I'll not accept their condemnation. I will be polite and not eat meat in from of them, but when I'm somwhere else I'll really enjoy that activity with not guilt but with thanks giving to God who created all things good.

dayhiker

 

[jonpantomime]

I agree with Dr Dobson, usually shame and guilt come from false teaching , not the holy spirit

i agree with this.