Confusion

[Blaise N]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to come to you all today to speak about a heart troubling trial,spiritual attack,or OCD moment.

Some of you May remember the post I asked on Wednesday about “Can God change a hearts motives?”,well after that I had what Is to my current knowledge the worst of any anxiety attacks I’ve had in my life,it was so bad that I couldn’t function properly at work today.It’s something that dug so deep into me it made me severely depressed. It was basically this,after posting the post on Wednesday my ruminating mind began to spiral out of control on “my hearts true motives”,basically it dug deep to “How can you be sure you really want to follow God”,”You don’t want to follow God,your forcing yourself”,”deep down you don’t believe”,”You don’t truly know God”,”Your only following God for his rewards”,”Your only following God to escape hell”,”I really don’t desire God”,”Why don’t I desire God”,I’m constantly questioning as to wether I truly want to desire God(that scares me) because I want to follow God,and these thoughts or lies,I really can’t articulate what they are.Made me feel like they were true,and in the state I was in even convinced me,and much of me just wanted to accept this.But deep down,through these lies I still want God,I can’t leave him Because I know it would hurt him and I’m afraid of atheists and I will never become one.


I noticed something,I can’t leave God,because deep down I absolutely don’t want to,he’s too good and loving to leave,and I love him too much,even through the confusion I still say “I love you Jesus”.But it feels like two forces are fighting over me,I feel God pulling me to safety and hope and Satan pulling me to wordliness and unbelief.But I’m fighting strong.

It’s just that My mind wants to dig deep and try to find motives for why I did this or that and if I did something for the wrong motive.I can’t even rationalize my desires because my mind always confuses it.I’m sorry to have to ask of everyone this again,but could some of you please pray for me,and that God clears my mind,and that he loves me,and that I don’t lose faith?

 

[Tolworth John]

my ruminating mind began to spiral out of control on “my hearts true motives”,basically it dug deep to “How can you be sure you really want to follow God”,

Sounds to me that you are being inundated by ' intrusive thoughts ', these you deal with by just acknowledging the.
You say or think to these challenging and questioning thoughts, " Yes that is right!" and move on to something else.
Do not argue, debate or talk with these intrusive thoughts. Also do not ignor or try to suppress them, just acknowlege them.

Do talk to your doctor or therapist about how to deal with intrusive thoughts, as if you are unable to cope with them you may need medication to sedate your rampant thoughts.

 

[pdudgeon]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to come to you all today to speak about a heart troubling trial,spiritual attack,or OCD moment.

Some of you May remember the post I asked on Wednesday about “Can God change a hearts motives?”,well after that I had what Is to my current knowledge the worst of any anxiety attacks I’ve had in my life,it was so bad that I couldn’t function properly at work today.It’s something that dug so deep into me it made me severely depressed. It was basically this,after posting the post on Wednesday my ruminating mind began to spiral out of control on “my hearts true motives”,basically it dug deep to “How can you be sure you really want to follow God”,”You don’t want to follow God,your forcing yourself”,”deep down you don’t believe”,”You don’t truly know God”,”Your only following God for his rewards”,”Your only following God to escape hell”,”I really don’t desire God”,”Why don’t I desire God”,and these thoughts or lies,I really can’t articulate what they are.Made me feel like they were true,and in the state I was in even convinced me,and much of me just wanted to accept this.But deep down,through these lies I still want God,I can’t leave him Because I know it would hurt him and I’m afraid of atheists and I will never become one.
What you are experiencing is a nothing short of a satanic attack against your beliefs.
This is as old as the book of Genesis, and many of people have undergone such a test.
You are not alone in your experience, and there is an answer!
That answer can be found in the Bible, and is known as The "I AM's of Jesus."
These words are Jesus' answer to those questions.
1. I AM the bread of life. John 6: 43
2. I AM the Light of the World.
John 8:12
3.I AM the Door. John 10:9
4.I AM the Good Shepherd John 10:11
5. I AM the Alpha and the Omega Rev 1:8
6. I AM the true vine John 15:1.
7. I AM the resurrection and the Life. John 11:25
8.I AM the door of the sheep.John 10:7
9.I AM the way, the truth, and the Life.
John 10:7
10. I AM the first and the last. Rev.1:17.
11. I AM He that liveth. Rev 1:18 kjv.
12. I AM the living bread. John 6:51.
All of these were spoken by Jesus, and they cannot be refuted by satan.






I noticed something,I can’t leave God,because deep down I absolutely don’t want to,he’s too good and loving to leave,and I love him too much,even through the confusion I still say “I love you Jesus”.But it feels like two forces are fighting over me,I feel God pulling me to safety and hope and Satan pulling me to wordliness and unbelief.But I’m fighting strong.

It’s just that My mind wants to dig deep and try to find motives for why I did this or that and if I did something for the wrong motive.I can’t even rationalize my desires because my mind always confuses it.I’m sorry to have to ask of everyone this again,but could some of you please pray for me,and that God clears my mind,and that he loves me,and that I don’t lose faith?

 

[St_Worm2]

...my ruminating mind began to spiral out of control on “my hearts true motives”,basically it dug deep to “How can you be sure you really want to follow God”,”You don’t want to follow God,your forcing yourself”,”deep down you don’t believe”,”You don’t truly know God”,”Your only following God for his rewards”,”Your only following God to escape hell”,”I really don’t desire God”.......it feels like two forces are fighting over me...God and Satan.

Hello Blaise, you have correctly assessed where a BIG part of the problem that you're having is coming from. Your "thoughts" (in quotes above) are, in point of fact, a collection of the devil's favorite one-liners (thoughts that all of us as Christians have been faced with .. or are continually faced with, like you are right now .. 1 Peter 5:8-10)

So resist (REFUSE!!) those thoughts by continuously taking them "captive" (as soon as they enter your mind) .. 2 Corinthians 10:5, one after another, again and again and again, as needed. I know how difficult and frustrating this can be (maddening whenever it seems like it just won't stop ), but you can count on two important promises from God, 1. that He will not allow Satan to tempt you beyond your ability to resist him, and 2. that he (the devil/his demons) will eventually give up and flee from you .. James 4:7.

1 Corinthians 10
13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

2 Corinthians 10
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

James 4
7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Come near to God and He will come near to you.
​

Finally, I'm sure you've noticed that pain, emotional and/or physical, has the tendency to get our focus off of the Lord and others, and back onto ourselves. This is natural, of course (especially at first), but as a Christian, you do not want to let it continue any longer than it has to, as regaining your focus on God and the needs of others can be key in helping you get past the painful thoughts that plague your mind.

As missionary/author Elisabeth Elliot once said,

Do you often feel like parched ground, unable to produce anything worthwhile? I do. When I am in need of refreshment, it isn't easy to think of the needs of others. But I have found that if, instead of praying for my own comfort and satisfaction, I ask the Lord to enable me to give to others, an amazing thing often happens - I find my own needs wonderfully met. Refreshment comes in ways I would never have thought of, both for others, and then, incidentally, for myself.​

​

God bless you

--David
p.s. - as you look for the way(s) of escape from your troubling thought-life that the Lord provides you with, remember that the Bible gives us some practical suggestions in this regard (of refocusing our minds away from ourselves and back onto God and others instead). For instance .. Matthew 6:33; Galatians 6:9-10; Philippians 4:6-8.

Psalms 37
4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
.​

 

[Mark Quayle]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to come to you all today to speak about a heart troubling trial,spiritual attack,or OCD moment.

Some of you May remember the post I asked on Wednesday about “Can God change a hearts motives?”,well after that I had what Is to my current knowledge the worst of any anxiety attacks I’ve had in my life,it was so bad that I couldn’t function properly at work today.It’s something that dug so deep into me it made me severely depressed. It was basically this,after posting the post on Wednesday my ruminating mind began to spiral out of control on “my hearts true motives”,basically it dug deep to “How can you be sure you really want to follow God”,”You don’t want to follow God,your forcing yourself”,”deep down you don’t believe”,”You don’t truly know God”,”Your only following God for his rewards”,”Your only following God to escape hell”,”I really don’t desire God”,”Why don’t I desire God”,and these thoughts or lies,I really can’t articulate what they are.Made me feel like they were true,and in the state I was in even convinced me,and much of me just wanted to accept this.But deep down,through these lies I still want God,I can’t leave him Because I know it would hurt him and I’m afraid of atheists and I will never become one.


I noticed something,I can’t leave God,because deep down I absolutely don’t want to,he’s too good and loving to leave,and I love him too much,even through the confusion I still say “I love you Jesus”.But it feels like two forces are fighting over me,I feel God pulling me to safety and hope and Satan pulling me to wordliness and unbelief.But I’m fighting strong.

It’s just that My mind wants to dig deep and try to find motives for why I did this or that and if I did something for the wrong motive.I can’t even rationalize my desires because my mind always confuses it.I’m sorry to have to ask of everyone this again,but could some of you please pray for me,and that God clears my mind,and that he loves me,and that I don’t lose faith?

In a manner of speaking, your faith is not really yours to lose, if you belong to Christ. It does not begin with you, nor are you the one to keep it real. It is generated by the Spirit of God in you.

Also, and please don't take me wrong, but the truth of what you believe, the depth and soundness of your faith, these are the work of God in you. If you have the Spirit in you, and it does sound like you do, he will not let you go. Your performance is not rated by you, but by Christ. You cannot be good enough to merit your status with God. He works by Christ's merit.

I said please don't take me wrong, because you do have the responsibility to pursue Christ. But your heart's true motives are no longer yours, but Christ's to do in you. Pursue him. Your desire for him is a result of who you are in him. Pursue him. The one who produces your faith knows Christ VERY well. Pursue Christ. You do not belong to yourself to answer your doubts. You belong to Christ. Let him tell Satan what's what. Pursue Christ. I'm not going to say that temptation is not your problem. It is, but also, it is Christ's work in you to grow you up IN HIM.

Next, I have to say, start memorizing scripture. Voraciously. You don't have time for Satan. Scripture will bring things to mind to fight this battle. Pursue Christ. Apart from him you can do nothing. You need him, like we all do. This is about Christ, not about you.