Confused

[luv4godremains]

I don't know if I want to see my Dad again or not, the thing is, he really hurt me, not just physically when I was little, or by letting certain things happen to me when he knew they would, but, when he left, he hardly ever speaks to us, I haven't seen him in 2 years now, and, well, he raises his hand to me within a very short time of me being there, and not even for reasons, just does it. I don't know if I could hancdle it, if it would really throw my anxiety again, make me more depressed, or make me feel thae way I did alst time when I came back, and when I was still there. I haven't spoken to him in 4 months, and only speak to him when I phone cos he forgets I'm alive (I think or he's just being an a**hole).

I'm not sure if I want to see him, even though I know if I did, it would just bring everything up and make me feel bad again, it getting really close to the summer hols now, and, I don't know if he'll ring, if he does, I don't know if I can say no again, or explain how I feel and why, cos he just ignores it!

is it wrong for me to miss him even though he did these things?

please help me! I'm soo scared!

 

[scared_at_heart]

It's okay!Just do what you think is right!

 

[luv4godremains]

hanks, I guess I just have to try to pray about it, I dunno, I guess he can't hurt me the way he used to! I just would have to be strong if i did see/speak to him!
thanks, God bless hunni

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I think it is normal to miss a parent because we're supposed to have parents that love and care for us. So you're not weird or crazy for wanting that. Your dad is the cause of all of this mess. I'm sorry for this. You deserve a loving father. But your dad doesn't deserve to have you as a daughter. It's not ok to be treated poorly, to be abused by anyone, not even your dad. Abuse is beyond excuse.

 

[luv4godremains]

Thanks Mr.cheese, I guess I'm just worried about losing contact with him altogether, when it comes to speaking to him over the phone, well, the balls in his court now, I don't have his number any more and don't even know where he lives! I do miss him, loads, but, I'm afraid of him too! oh well, guess I have to leave it up to him, and, if he phones, he phones, if not, then, well, God's the perfect Father anyway, I should really be working on my relationship with him anyway!
God bless