Confused

[equusargentum]

Hi,

I've been with my boyfriend for two weeks, before that we'd been best freinds for a few months. We're both Christians, and have agreed not to go further than kissing. We spend a lot of time alone together because that's teh way it's always been. I'm confused about how we can keep God at the centre of our relationship and I also need ideas for things to do together which won't feed temptation. There's so much conflicting advice around, I'm having trouble making sense of it.

Thanks, Cat

 

[Miss_Music]

first of all... welcome to cf! and congrats on your new relationship!!

if you want to avoid temptation then avoid tempting circumstances. while you may have always spent heaps of time alone together while you were just friends, things are different now - you need to treat them differently. sucks hey? it'll all be woth it in the long run though

um, as for ideas... going out for movies and coffee is always good, a picnic, shopping (hehehe... i'm sure he'll love that suggestion ), ummm... just basically stay in public places or places where there are other people.

as for keeping God at the centre of your relationship... do you both go to the same church?? if not maybe you could find a youth group to go to together or something. doing devotions together can be good BUT this is something quite intimate to share with someone - make sure you think carefully about it first.

hmmm... i think i'm all out of advise for the moment. hope that helped

 

[equusargentum]

Hi miss_music, thanks for the advice.

Actually, he doesn't have a problem with shopping, which is good.

We don't go to the same church, but our churches are in the same circuit so there's things we join up for. Also, he comes to my church occassionally and we're going to visit my friend's church together sometime. Before we were going out, we went on an alpha course; which is something I'd be up for repeating.

 

[Singin4Him]

The two things go hand in hand. If God is not the center avoiding temptation will be very difficult, if not almost impossible.

The best way to avoid tempation is not letting yourselves get into situation that will tempt you. It's pretty simple, don't seclude yourself from others, don't sit in a parked car alone, don't sit home alone together...etc. If there is even a slight chance it might cause tempation DON'T DO IT. If my husband and I could do it through out our dating relationship as well as engagement I know you and your bf can do it, with Christ nothing is impossible. Purity makes for the best relationships anyway .

As far as keeping Christ first, that is very simple as well. You don't have to go to the same church, you don't have to spend long times in prayer or devotions together, and you don't have to be super Christians. It all depends upon your personal relationships with God, if your personal relationships with Him are strong and the most important thing in your lives then that will reflect in your relationship together. It will be inevitable that God is the center your relationship together if that is true.

 

[Johnnz]

At your age I recommend just being good friends - with him and other guys and gals too. The biggest preventative of going down the wrong path is to refrain from one-on-one dating until you are old enough to seriously consider marriage. Maybe this sounds a bit old fashioned (check my age if you want). But, at your age life is about learning, and growing and developing your life, your values and your resources. Don't unnecessarily restrict your opportunities for learning and growing by being too confined by any one relationship.

John
NZ

 

[unjustwar]

Hi,

I've been with my boyfriend for two weeks, before that we'd been best freinds for a few months. We're both Christians, and have agreed not to go further than kissing. We spend a lot of time alone together because that's teh way it's always been. I'm confused about how we can keep God at the centre of our relationship and I also need ideas for things to do together which won't feed temptation. There's so much conflicting advice around, I'm having trouble making sense of it.

Thanks, Cat

the easiest way to battle temptation in my opinion is totally avoid situations where the temptation will arise.