Help,
I am so confused and tired in my marriage. My husband and I were boyfriend/ girlfriend in college and senior year I was pregnant. At the age of 21 for me and 23 for him we got married- I was 7 months pregnant with twins. My husband really wanted me to have an abortion, but I didn't feel that was right and told him I could go on without him, however he made the decision to marry me. Now after 4 years of marriage I have found out he has been cheating. He was actually cheating while I was pregnant with our 3 child. I found the emails, etc, and noticed that he slept with the woman 2 days before our child was born! This happened this past May. You can only imagine the hurt and other emotions I have experienced. We agreed to go to a christian marriage counselor, however my husband won't do the homework, and we only go to the counselor every 3 weeks ( he claims he can't make time for every week.) I have felt like we could heal from what has happened, I felt like I have healed, slowly over time. Now I have noticed my husband coming in late, for instance he told me he would be home at 6:30 but got home at 11pm. I smelled his clothes and could smell perfume down to the fibers of his clothing. When I questioned him days later, he claims that he went over a female freind's house, and they were smoking and drinking, so his clothes were filled with smoke and he needed to take a shower. He ended up using her lotion after he got out of the shower, so that is why I smelled the perfume in his clothes. I now he smokes, he smokes in our home, I think that is a poor excuse. What do you think? both my husband and I are in the music industry, a lot of parties go on, and many woman have to call his phone. My husband claims since I have caught him he has not cheated. However he does not shun the appearance of cheating- like coming home late, not calling me, woman calling him and not sounding proffessional, even one of the past lovers has called hime recntly. I love him very much, however, I feel at the time we need to be seperated. My husband knows the word of God, however, he reufses to be a godly man, a christain husband. I feel right now I need to release him and let God deal with him. I am so tired, upset, confused ( becuase while moving out my husband says he does not want me to go.) I am also scared becuase I am only 24 years old with 3 small children. I feel though I am giving my husband time away from me, he might give up on me and the marriage, and accept divorce. I fel I can not compromise. I deserve a husband who is fully committed to me and most important the Lord, and a father who is committed. Please advise. my husband is hurting, he holds things inside. He still has not gotten over us having twins, he adores them, but makes comments about our lives being different. Sometime I feel he thinks to much on how we were in college without children. He is an only child. When I found out we were having this 3 child, he was very much against it. Help.
I am so confused and tired in my marriage. My husband and I were boyfriend/ girlfriend in college and senior year I was pregnant. At the age of 21 for me and 23 for him we got married- I was 7 months pregnant with twins. My husband really wanted me to have an abortion, but I didn't feel that was right and told him I could go on without him, however he made the decision to marry me. Now after 4 years of marriage I have found out he has been cheating. He was actually cheating while I was pregnant with our 3 child. I found the emails, etc, and noticed that he slept with the woman 2 days before our child was born! This happened this past May. You can only imagine the hurt and other emotions I have experienced. We agreed to go to a christian marriage counselor, however my husband won't do the homework, and we only go to the counselor every 3 weeks ( he claims he can't make time for every week.) I have felt like we could heal from what has happened, I felt like I have healed, slowly over time. Now I have noticed my husband coming in late, for instance he told me he would be home at 6:30 but got home at 11pm. I smelled his clothes and could smell perfume down to the fibers of his clothing. When I questioned him days later, he claims that he went over a female freind's house, and they were smoking and drinking, so his clothes were filled with smoke and he needed to take a shower. He ended up using her lotion after he got out of the shower, so that is why I smelled the perfume in his clothes. I now he smokes, he smokes in our home, I think that is a poor excuse. What do you think? both my husband and I are in the music industry, a lot of parties go on, and many woman have to call his phone. My husband claims since I have caught him he has not cheated. However he does not shun the appearance of cheating- like coming home late, not calling me, woman calling him and not sounding proffessional, even one of the past lovers has called hime recntly. I love him very much, however, I feel at the time we need to be seperated. My husband knows the word of God, however, he reufses to be a godly man, a christain husband. I feel right now I need to release him and let God deal with him. I am so tired, upset, confused ( becuase while moving out my husband says he does not want me to go.) I am also scared becuase I am only 24 years old with 3 small children. I feel though I am giving my husband time away from me, he might give up on me and the marriage, and accept divorce. I fel I can not compromise. I deserve a husband who is fully committed to me and most important the Lord, and a father who is committed. Please advise. my husband is hurting, he holds things inside. He still has not gotten over us having twins, he adores them, but makes comments about our lives being different. Sometime I feel he thinks to much on how we were in college without children. He is an only child. When I found out we were having this 3 child, he was very much against it. Help.
I pray that God will let everything settle down, and your husband will realize what he is doing to you and to his family.
