I see a lot of "either or" thinking here rather than both. Not that "either or" is bad, but in the false dichotomy sense I see it here. Especially when the reality is that some people come to Christ through different methods. Some people come to Christ after being confronted by a believer who is a stranger and plants the seed and then later it grows. Some people come to Christ through building long relationships with believers and eventually embracing the Lord. Some people come to Christ through argumentation and that one thing that makes them realize they were wrong, etc.
And the reverse is true. Some people are pushed away by "in-your-face" evangelism. Some people will befriend a believer and still die unbelievers no matter how friendly, kind, soft, loving, etc. you are to them. Some people won't budge after a debate with you regarding your reasons for believing in God, the Bible, etc.
Since we're dealing with human beings, and humans are complex, dynamic, people then there's no one-size-fits-all solution to evangelism. Some people might need that "in-your-face" confrontation because it might be the order of the Holy Spirit for the day for them. Some people might need that soft, long, relationship building approach, while others might need to have their worldviews confronted with reasonable argumentation to make them think through their current beliefs. Etc., etc.
If you don't feel called to be direct, open, loud about the Gospel, then don't. God has given you the tools to use to do it the way He moves you to do it. More power to you. If you're called to be direct, open, and loud about the Gospel, then do it.
Of course people today are going to be irritable about "in-your-face" evangelists because society today, primarily in the West doesn't appreciate bold Christians like it appreciates bold Atheists. That's a bad reason for begrudging brothers and sisters in Christ who are out there marching to the tune of the drum the Lord set them on.
Suffice to say, there is in-your-face evangelism in the Bible. Jesus did it all the time. Whenever He spoke the religious leaders of His day didn't want Him to and yet He did. Meaning He wasn't invited, etc. Also, whenever He spoke, He spoke often to strangers. The apostles and First century believers went on to follow that model. There are plenty of examples in scripture of prophets, apostles, etc. taking the direct approach to sharing God's message.
People are different, they react to different things and God's wise enough to use different people and different approaches to reach them.