Confirmation

[Memento Mori]

I asked my parents if they were going to come to my confirmation, and they said, "Why do you want us to come? Haven't we been through this already [with the Adventist Church]?" That wasn't at all the answer I was expecting. I am trying not to cry. I don't mind if they are too uncomfortable to go, but this hurts me because it doesn't seem like they understand how important this is to me. They said my confirmation is only important "until the next religion." I didn't know what to say to that so I shut up. I love my parents, but that hurt me a lot.

I don't know why I'm making this thread. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so thank you for listening.

 

[MariaRegina]

My prayers. Do you parents have any faith at all?

 

[JBMM]

Yeah, what is their denomination, if they have one?

Prayers for you.

 

[Winter]

I'm so sorry Jared. ((hugs)) I can understand your feelings for being hurt. Confirmation means so much to you - and who else better to share it with than those you love? God bless you. You know, look at it this way. Being confirmed as a Catholic now means you are now on the road towards a spiritual journey - which means you will never stop learning - and which means everything you learn and all that you become means you have something to give to your parents. They may not know this. But you know in your heart.

Could it be they are feeling hurt that you left their faith? If so, then the hurt may go both ways. But Jesus and all the saints will be with you on that special day and all will rejoicing in heaven for you.

God bless you.

 

[benedictaoo]

I asked my parents if they were going to come to my confirmation, and they said, "Why do you want us to come? Haven't we been through this already [with the Adventist Church]?" That wasn't at all the answer I was expecting. I am trying not to cry. I don't mind if they are too uncomfortable to go, but this hurts me because it doesn't seem like they understand how important this is to me. They said my confirmation is only important "until the next religion." I didn't know what to say to that so I shut up. I love my parents, but that hurt me a lot.

I don't know why I'm making this thread. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so thank you for listening.

awe... I feel bad for you, I truly do.

But let me ask you a question though... do they have a point? and are they anti Catholic? or just of a different faith?

 

[Memento Mori]

My prayers. Do you parents have any faith at all?

Yeah, what is their denomination, if they have one?

Prayers for you.

awe... I feel bad for you, I truly do.

But let me ask you a question though... do they have a point? and are they anti Catholic? or just of a different faith?

Thanks guys. They haven't attended church since they were kids, but like many people they would label themselves Christian. I wouldn't say they are anti-Catholic, though they do share the common misconceptions about the Church (e.g., all priests are perverts, the Church has too many rules).

I'm so sorry Jared. ((hugs)) I can understand your feelings for being hurt. Confirmation means so much to you - and who else better to share it with than those you love? God bless you. You know, look at it this way. Being confirmed as a Catholic now means you are now on the road towards a spiritual journey - which means you will never stop learning - and which means everything you learn and all that you become means you have something to give to your parents. They may not know this. But you know in your heart.

Could it be they are feeling hurt that you left their faith? If so, then the hurt may go both ways. But Jesus and all the saints will be with you on that special day and all will rejoicing in heaven for you.

God bless you.

Thank you Winter. That's a good perspective.

 

[Rhamiel]

hey brother
sorry you feel so hurt, maybe just try asking them one more time to come and say that it would mean a lot to you, if they say no then just drop it
you do not want this to hurt your relationship with your parents
preach the gospel at all times, they might think little of your faith now, but over the years they will see how your life has been transformed by Christ and His Church, I am SURE that you are an amazing witness to all who know you
you are a very brave young man and I respect you deeply

 

[benedictaoo]

Thanks guys. They haven't attended church since they were kids, but like many people they would label themselves Christian. I wouldn't say they are anti-Catholic, though they do share the common misconceptions about the Church (e.g., all priests are perverts, the Church has too many rules).



Thank you Winter. That's a good perspective.

then guess what? It's nothing personal against you as their son- it's important to you, just not them.

Now as a Mom, if i did not have a true conviction that my son was wrong in his decision, I'd go.

I know if my son wanted me to attend his conversion ceremony to Judaism, In good conscious I just couldn't go.

since that's not the case here, I'm sure it's not personal... they just don't get it, why it's a big deal... the significance in religion over all is over their head.

Just ask them again, to please come because it would please you. Try to convince them that this isn't just a phase you are going through. I can not say that they don't have a right to be suspicious if that's what you have done in the past... try to see it from their perspective.

 

[Eucharisted]

I asked my parents if they were going to come to my confirmation, and they said, "Why do you want us to come? Haven't we been through this already [with the Adventist Church]?" That wasn't at all the answer I was expecting. I am trying not to cry. I don't mind if they are too uncomfortable to go, but this hurts me because it doesn't seem like they understand how important this is to me. They said my confirmation is only important "until the next religion." I didn't know what to say to that so I shut up. I love my parents, but that hurt me a lot.

I don't know why I'm making this thread. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so thank you for listening.

Saint Francis knows how you feel. In fact, what happened to you is almost exactly what happened to him when he became Christian. His parents told him, "Why should we care? You'll just join another religion!"

 

[Michie]

I asked my parents if they were going to come to my confirmation, and they said, "Why do you want us to come? Haven't we been through this already [with the Adventist Church]?" That wasn't at all the answer I was expecting. I am trying not to cry. I don't mind if they are too uncomfortable to go, but this hurts me because it doesn't seem like they understand how important this is to me. They said my confirmation is only important "until the next religion." I didn't know what to say to that so I shut up. I love my parents, but that hurt me a lot.

I don't know why I'm making this thread. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so thank you for listening.

Aw! I'm sorry Jared. *hug*

Prayers for your peace & comfort.

 

[Memento Mori]

then guess what? It's nothing personal against you as their son- it's important to you, just not them.

Now as a Mom, if i did not have a true conviction that my son was wrong in his decision, I'd go.

I know if my son wanted me to attend his conversion ceremony to Judaism, In good conscious I just couldn't go.

since that's not the case here, I'm sure it's not personal... they just don't get it, why it's a big deal... the significance in religion over all is over their head.

Just ask them again, to please come because it would please you. Try to convince them that this isn't just a phase you are going through. I can not say that they don't have a right to be suspicious if that's what you have done in the past... try to see it from their perspective.

I think that is part of it. I don't have a history of religious phases or anything like that, but they have a "no religion is truer than the other" view of things, so I'm not sure they understand why I went from Adventism to Catholicism even when I explain my reasons. I understand it's not personal, but I was still hurt that they belittled something I said was important to me. But life goes on...

 

[benedictaoo]

I think that is part of it. I don't have a history of religious phases or anything like that, but they have a "no religion is truer than the other" view of things, so I'm not sure they understand why I went from Adventism to Catholicism even when I explain my reasons. I understand it's not personal, but I was still hurt that they belittled something I said was important to me. But life goes on...

Don't look at it as if they are belittling it or you... but that they are afraid of it. Non religion people in general don't like to have religion forced on them in any capacity. They may feel that is what you are doing or going would require to much of them at this stage in the game.
It's a spirit that has them bound almost- they won't go near it...

 

[MoNiCa4316]

I asked my parents if they were going to come to my confirmation, and they said, "Why do you want us to come? Haven't we been through this already [with the Adventist Church]?" That wasn't at all the answer I was expecting. I am trying not to cry. I don't mind if they are too uncomfortable to go, but this hurts me because it doesn't seem like they understand how important this is to me. They said my confirmation is only important "until the next religion." I didn't know what to say to that so I shut up. I love my parents, but that hurt me a lot.

I don't know why I'm making this thread. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so thank you for listening.

Im sorry I know this can hurt a lot.. especially because this is so important to you. Hopefully with time your parents would see the Catholic Church more for what it really is... pray for them and I hope your Confirmation (and first Eucharist!!!) goes amazing!!! Even if your parents won't choose to attend, you will be united with Our Lord in Communion.

So soon!!!!!

God bless you

 

[Memento Mori]

Im sorry I know this can hurt a lot.. especially because this is so important to you. Hopefully with time your parents would see the Catholic Church more for what it really is... pray for them and I hope your Confirmation (and first Eucharist!!!) goes amazing!!! Even if your parents won't choose to attend, you will be united with Our Lord in Communion.

So soon!!!!!

God bless you

Thanks Monica. So soon indeed! I have spring break the week following the Easter Vigil as well, so that means a week of daily Eucharist right off the bat! I like to think of it as the honeymoon. I can't wait!

 

[Aeyamar]

Well, if it's any consolation my parents didn't attend my confirmation either. My dad's Northern Baptist so he wasn't all that interested. Plus, he had to work and couldn't get back and forth from the city to do it. My mom also had a meeting that day and had to pick up my sister, but she was there to drop me off at the church and for the little celebration afterward.
Anyway, I don't think the real problem your having is not that they won't go to your confirmation, so much as it is the fact that they seem to be making the decision either out of resentment or because they don't believe you are making a serious change. If it's resentment, I'm not sure there's a good solution to get your parents to go. If the problem is their skepticism, try having a thorough discussion about why they don't believe you're serious and then ask them what you would have to do to prove to them that you were. If they can't give some sort of criterion, point out that they're making it impossible for you to prove conviction and make them confront the fact that they're being unreasonable.

 

[Memento Mori]

Well, if it's any consolation my parents didn't attend my confirmation either. My dad's Northern Baptist so he wasn't all that interested. Plus, he had to work and couldn't get back and forth from the city to do it. My mom also had a meeting that day and had to pick up my sister, but she was there to drop me off at the church and for the little celebration afterward.
Anyway, I don't think the real problem your having is not that they won't go to your confirmation, so much as it is the fact that they seem to be making the decision either out of resentment or because they don't believe you are making a serious change. If it's resentment, I'm not sure there's a good solution to get your parents to go. If the problem is their skepticism, try having a thorough discussion about why they don't believe you're serious and then ask them what you would have to do to prove to them that you were. If they can't give some sort of criterion, point out that they're making it impossible for you to prove conviction and make them confront the fact that they're being unreasonable.

Thanks, that makes me feel not so alone.

It's not they don't think I'm serious. I think benedictaoo pretty much nailed it. Religion is so far removed from their experience that they don't understand why it's a big deal to me, and why it's Catholicism in particular.

 

[Peripatetic]

Thanks Monica. So soon indeed! I have spring break the week following the Easter Vigil as well, so that means a week of daily Eucharist right off the bat! I like to think of it as the honeymoon. I can't wait!

It's refreshing to see someone accepting the sacrament of Confirmation by choice at the time when you are ready and excited about it. For me, and many other Catholics, it happened in 8th grade as a right of passage whether you were ready to commit or not. I always thought it would be nice if Confirmation was a true, lifetime commitment of choice after careful consideration (like the sacrament of Marriage). That way, your honeymoon analogy would be appropriate for all! Congratulations on your big day... just reading your posts lifted my spirits tonight.

 

[MoNiCa4316]

Thanks Monica. So soon indeed! I have spring break the week following the Easter Vigil as well, so that means a week of daily Eucharist right off the bat! I like to think of it as the honeymoon. I can't wait!

awesome!!! do tell us all about your first Communion so happy for you!!

 

[BAFRIEND]

As someone who has sponsored and also spent a few years in an RCIA team this is a familiar story.

Jared you should know that the Church believes that it is God who calls us and not us who choose God. This is a very special time in your life and it is sad your parents will not participate.

But remember that many were called away from friends or family- many felt rejected. All of these experiences and feelings can be used to bring us closer to Christ if use them for spiritual reflection.

Good luck and peace.

 

[benedictaoo]

Thanks, that makes me feel not so alone.

It's not they don't think I'm serious. I think benedictaoo pretty much nailed it. Religion is so far removed from their experience that they don't understand why it's a big deal to me, and why it's Catholicism in particular.

It's also when you go to these things and you have been living your life a certain way and are set in those ways, the last thing you want to do is go to something like that because there is the fear of being confronted and maybe rethinking how you been living. People don't want to have to change.

Of course it's not consciously we do this, they are probably just saying, we love Jared, but we don't want to have to go to that boring junk.

Now we all know deep down that we are wrong and it's almost like a bad spirit putting up the wall to keep us away from anything that may cause us to pause and give some consideration to how we all been living.

For now, just roll with it and try to have an effect on them with how you live your new life... they may come to be impressed. I tell you what though, they are some lucky parents to have you for a son... I hope they realize it.