Confirmation Age

[Draxamus]

Confirmation is supposed to be the Catholic way of reinforcing our baptism. It is supposed to be are decision to accept God, and to become Catholic. But, I think most people are much too young when they go into confirmation. When you're eleven, or twelve, it's not really YOUR decision. You feel the pressures of parents, and relatives. And people wonder why there are such a large number of non-practicing Catholics in the world. I think eighteen would be a good age for people to receive the sacrament of Confirmation.

 

[VOW]

To Drax:

You've got my vote, and also the vote of any parishes I know. My husband made his Confirmation at ten or so (back in the covered wagon days). He doesn't remember any of it! It was the "memorize some prayers, answer some questions, and wear a white shirt and tie" occasion.

At our parish today, the Confirmation is for kids in senior high school, or older. My daughter completed her Confirmation shortly before she graduated; my son is in his first year of the two year program.

The youth ministers are FANTASTIC! These people are devoted to helping the kids learn about the Catholic faith, to KNOW Christ, and to build an intimate relationship with God. I simply cannot say enough good things about it! The weekend retreat is a stripping away of all the falseness of their lives, and then rebuilding them as Children of God, to see and use the power of the Holy Spirit.

Another fantastic thing about Confirming at this age is this is EXACTLY when young people need Jesus. They are in transition from looking in towards themselves to looking out at the world, and the world is one, big, scary place. The strength of God will enable them to make the right decisions!


Peace be with you,
~VOW

 

[Kotton]

Originally posted by Draxamus
But, I think most people are much too young when they go into confirmation. I think eighteen would be a good age for people to receive the sacrameny of Confirmation.

Some can make the decision at 13-14, others haven't been able to at 21-25. It really depends on the degree of instruction, the faith practice in the family, and the person's own immersion in knowing God.

Kotton

 

[fragmentsofdreams]

I regret that confirmation is treated like a social rather than spiritual occasion. Several of the people confirmed with me did it only to satisfy their parents and stopped going to church soon afterwards. I would have rather have them delay confirmation rather than treat it so casually.

 

[kern]

That's me. When I got confirmed I had already partly entered the stage of not really believing. My parents would never have let me not get confirmed, just like they wouldn't let me not participate in the "senior service" at the church. So the church got an agnostic writing a liturgy and reading it for the congregation. I think this is a bad idea, but I'm not sure what else you should do with children who say they don't believe in God anymore.

And I don't really remember anything from confirmation (I think I was 15). I know we read Mark and had to write summaries of the pastor's sermons, and then we had some retreat. But I learned more about Christianity participating as an agnostic on the Left Behind board than I did from confirmation class.

-Chris

 

[VOW]

To Kern:

If I had a kid who said, "I don't know if I believe in God any more," I'd ship his rear end off to the Confirmation retreat in our Parish.

With most adolescents, the "I don't believe in God" stage is really more of a "I don't believe in ME, whoever THAT is" stage. When the kid doesn't understand how he relates to the world around him, it's hard to envision God.

The Confirmation retreat we have here is FANTASTIC. The kids show up on Friday afternoon, and the parents don't get them back until Sunday night. If you wanted to really be critical, you could call it indoctrination, or propoganda, but I don't see it that way. The underlying principal is that every one of us is BOMBARDED with the secular world, in every single moment of our lives. How can ANYONE know spirituality with that kind of overwhelming influence? The retreat looks to isolate the kids from everything they are used to: parents (so they don't have to work so hard to challenge them, LOL), TV, music, siblings, advertising, school, ANYTHING which can be a distraction. They are shown their fellow Confirmation candidates as children of God. They are taught to build a relationship with PEOPLE, as well as with God, and they are taught all of the things in life that are GIFTS of God, that they take for granted. They are symbolically re-baptized, to remind them of the commitment their parents made for them with God. Even CLOCKS are removed, so there is no concept of time.

For most of these kids, the hard shell that has been constructed as a self-defense is shattered. These are new opportunities for parents and children to unite in love, and it's incredible to watch. I saw fathers and big, strapping sons embracing and crying in joy.

Incredible, incredible, incredible!


Peace be with you,
~VOW

 

[Kotton]

Originally posted by VOW
If I had a kid who said, "I don't know if I believe in God any more," I'd ship his rear end off to the Confirmation retreat in our Parish.

Incredible, incredible, incredible!

Peace be with you,
~VOW

WOW! If every parish had that kind of action going on we wouldn't have so many 'doubters' on Church questions.


Kotton

 

[kern]

I went to a confirmation retreat and it didn't really do anything for me. In a way, seeing the religious stuff there only confirmed my feelings that it was all a bunch of hooey. I think that my agnostic time was very important to my current faith. I know some may not believe that, but I don't think any sort of true faith would have been possible for me without considering the alternative.

-Chris

 

[VOW]

To Kern:

Oh, ABSOLUTELY, your agnosticism was VITAL to the faith you hold today! Without your questioning, without receiving ANSWERS, you would not be able to be completely, totally secure in what you believe!

Thanks be to God!


Peace be with you,
~VOW

 

[seebs]

Originally posted by Draxamus
Confirmation is supposed to be the Catholic way of reinforcing our baptism. It is supposed to be are decision to accept God, and to become Catholic. But, I think most people are much too young when they go into confirmation. When you're eleven, or twelve, it's not really YOUR decision. You feel the pressures of parents, and relatives. And people wonder why there are such a large number of non-practicing Catholics in the world. I think eighteen would be a good age for people to receive the sacrameny of Confirmation.

I had a similar problem in a Lutheran church; they wanted me to do the confirmation thing when I wasn't convinced yet. The pastor actually called my parents and told them they should make me do it anyway.

 

[fragmentsofdreams]

Originally posted by seebs


I had a similar problem in a Lutheran church; they wanted me to do the confirmation thing when I wasn't convinced yet. The pastor actually called my parents and told them they should make me do it anyway.

How did you react to the coercion?

 

[pax]

I believe 18 is definitely too old to be the norm. Actually, I think if nothing else, it deprives people of sacramental grace that comes from confirmation which they will need more than ever in their teen years. We need to remember that the Eastern Rites Confirm at Birth. Also, the Code of Canon Law states that the age of reason is when it should take place, unless the National Episcopal Conference states otherwise (NCCB says 7-16). Confirmation completes the work of Baptism in our Hearts. A large number of kids (confirmed at 18 esp. in my Parish) do not return to Mass on Sundays. Most viewed it as something they had to do UNTIL they were confirmed. I think waiting that long adds to the problem. I am 15 (still unconfirmed as our diocese formerly said that confirmation was to take place at 17 until the Bishop just recently switched it to 7), and I really think that it would help not to wait.

 

[Lynn]

I'm really confused about the confirmation age, esp here in our diocese. When our kids were in high school, they were to be confirmed in 9th grade. But at the Easter Vigil mass, little kids (like 7 and 8 years old) were being baptized, given first holy communion, and confirmed, all at once.
My husband and I spent the weekend out of town and went to mass this morning at the cathedral. There were 12 little kids having first communion and confirmation. But last month, the bishop confirmed the 9th graders.

I'm soooo confused

Isn't there any consistency to this?

lynn