Confession Before Covenanting

[bort]

How many of you all married brothers and sisters confessed your sins to one another during the courtship/dating time of your relationship before tying the knot together?



For reasons I don't fully know I have in my heart the conviction that God wants my future wife and I to take a point to sit down and confess every single thing that we have ever done that was against God. In fact, I even have papers sitting on my table right now where I have previously taken a stretch of time allowing God to let these things surface for the purpose of recording them down for the future time when whoever it is God has chosen for me will get together and share. Again, I believe it's from the Lord and I asked His help on it.



You know I don't know what we will do once we get done. Maybe we will burn them and praise God for His forgiveness and redemption. It's speculation to say. This I know: The Bible says to confess your sins one to another that you may be healed. Any other implications coming from this I have yet to find out, but I know He will show us.



So has anyone ever heard of married couples doing something like this prior or after marriage?

 

[Dave-W]

So has anyone ever heard of married couples doing something like this prior or after marriage?

No - I have not.

I do not think it would be helpful in any way. There are just too many sins we commit and most we are never aware of anyway. It would be overwhelming.

Specific sins that may impact your relationship like sexual sins and relational sins against family members or against jobs and bosses SHOULD be confessed and discussed IMO. Also any legal troubles should be included.

 

[Navari]

I confessed my past to my husband when we first started dating, it was more of a defense mechanism to push him away than anything. He systematically proceed to tell me how the Lord had prepared him to deal with everything from my past. How the Lord had convicted his heart before he even met me, about certain issues.

I think if the Lord is pushing on your heart to do this, there must be a reason. It may be something specific to your future wife that he will reveal to you. Or maybe you have a burden hiding in your heart and he will use this written confession as a way to bring it to the surface. If you are feeling pushed to write stuff down, I don't think that could hurt anyone. But I might keep it between you and the Lord until he reveals exactly what it is for.

 

[ValleyGal]

If you want to confess your sins to someone, do it with a sponsor in a structured program, NOT with your future spouse. I think your future spouse has a right to know about sexual issues that may affect your sex life, any past abuse, addictions, and other things that will have an impact on your marriage, but not as some formal sin confession as a result of doing life inventories.

The things that affect your marriage will have less to do with "sin" than conflicts that have to do with personality, how to handle certain life issues like parenting or finances, and matters of opinion. Focus on learning to resolve those conflicts respectfully rather than confessing your past sins. After all, you and your fiance are new creations in Christ, the past is gone and what matters is now and your future.

 

[dayhiker]

I guess I now think about telling my history to anyone I'm serious with. Its not just the tings I've done wrong but also the things I have done right.
Being able to speak ones history can be very healing personally and help the other person understand who we are.

I happen to have an interesting experience this past spring. I was with 4 people and we were talking about life and we ended up each going around and sharing what our personal hist of birth control was. It was so educational to hear what had worked and what didn't. What people liked and what people didn't like. It was so neat that it wasn't a conversation, but each person was given the time to tell their whole story while the rest listened with out interrupting.