"Conduct Unbecoming..."

[MrJim]

[Yeah, any former military folks will recognize that expression.]

Let me tell ya about this morning.

My wife had some eye problems. She got some new glasses but it didn't help much so she went back one evening this past week and they looked the glasses over to make sure they were sitting straight but said come in Saturday morn and they get her "worked in" to see the doc.

So I take her in and drop her off, and a couple hours later she calls and says she's ready to be picked up. On they way home she said there wasn't anything else they could do but recommend her to a specialist since there was evidence of cataracts forming.

I got pretty angry about it and when I got home I thought, well, I want a refund on what I paid since I didn't get what I paid for-fixed eyes. So I called and got in a verbal fistfight with the optometrist. Don't know who was yelling the loudest at the height of it but at some point he essentially told me to shut up and listen. After he was done, I was like, "oh". He explained everything that needed done and they would make any changes necessary to the lenses after the specialist was done. I apologized for being a you-know-what and he was cool about it.

It's just left me drained all day--after that episode it was the usual Saturday errands-groceries, take the missus to the haircut shop, etc.

But I keep replaying this episode thinking, what was it with this rage I felt. I think it comes down to the cataract thing and feeling powerless and needing to vent on someone instead of dealing with it in a Christian manner. I have a huge prejudice against any medical field (well, except dentists) doctor-types, so maybe that was just a convenient whipping post.

Conduct unbecoming a disciple of Christ...

 

[~InHisHands~]

You know what's odd? My mother said that whenever my father got scared for us kids, he would holler. Maybe with the combination of being concerned for your wife, your mistrust in medical professionals, (which isn't totally uncalled for these days), and the fact that you felt you were taken to the cleaners, all lead to this stressful reaction. You are not alone. I go through this all the time. It takes effort to remain calm and think things through and begin to ask sensible questions without freaking out. What helps me in these situations is to remember to take a deep breath and keep in mind that no matter how loud I holler or how angry I get, it's not going to change the course of the event because God is the one at the wheel.

 

[Jehane]

Ouch! I hate when I do things like that. Which is why, of course, we need a saviour. Having apologised & done what is in your power to fix things the only thing to do is confess to Christ, ask forgiveness & move on. We all fail sometimes. But if we didn't maybe we'd get to thinking we didn't need Christ after all...

 

[ZiSunka]

You know what's odd? My mother said that whenever my father got scared for us kids, he would holler. Maybe with the combination of being concerned for your wife, your mistrust in medical professionals, (which isn't totally uncalled for these days), and the fact that you felt you were taken to the cleaners, all lead to this stressful reaction. You are not alone. I go through this all the time. It takes effort to remain calm and think things through and begin to ask sensible questions without freaking out. What helps me in these situations is to remember to take a deep breath and keep in mind that no matter how loud I holler or how angry I get, it's not going to change the course of the event because God is the one at the wheel.

Amen Red!

A few weeks ago, I lost my cool with my doctor's staff. I had to call for test results, and it took 6 hours and 20 calls til I actually talked to a nurse with the results, and it only got to talk to her then because I got to acting like a real jerk, otherwise I might still be waiting.

But what caused me to be a jerk was fear for what the results would be. When the nurse left the message on the machine for me to call back because my results weren't normal, she sounded like she was crying. I got scared and after getting the run-around for 6 hours, I just got annoyed, too. I don't think I can go back to that doctor, though, because I am so embarrassed that I blew up like that. It was a stressful reaction, but I am the one that didn't control my emotions very well (although the 1st 18 times I called, I was very nice about being told the nurse would call me back in 5 minutes).

My mom was a nurse, and she would sometimes come home all upset because someone had treated her the way I treated that nurse. It ruined my mom's day, and that would flow over into our evening together. Being a nurse is a stressful job and most of the things people get angry about are out of the nurse's control anyway. The nurse can't make your wife's eyes better, she can't authorize for you to get your money back, she can't undo whatever an insurance company decides to pay for or not. She's there to help the doctor examine you and care for your health.

I'll be praying for us both!

 

[~InHisHands~]

Amen Red!

A few weeks ago, I lost my cool with my doctor's staff. I had to call for test results, and it took 6 hours and 20 calls til I actually talked to a nurse with the results, and it only got to talk to her then because I got to acting like a real jerk, otherwise I might still be waiting.

But what caused me to be a jerk was fear for what the results would be. When the nurse left the message on the machine for me to call back because my results weren't normal, she sounded like she was crying. I got scared and after getting the run-around for 6 hours, I just got annoyed, too. I don't think I can go back to that doctor, though, because I am so embarrassed that I blew up like that. It was a stressful reaction, but I am the one that didn't control my emotions very well (although the 1st 18 times I called, I was very nice about being told the nurse would call me back in 5 minutes).

My mom was a nurse, and she would sometimes come home all upset because someone had treated her the way I treated that nurse. It ruined my mom's day, and that would flow over into our evening together. Being a nurse is a stressful job and most of the things people get angry about are out of the nurse's control anyway. The nurse can't make your wife's eyes better, she can't authorize for you to get your money back, she can't undo whatever an insurance company decides to pay for or not. She's there to help the doctor examine you and care for your health.

I'll be praying for us both!

The thing is hon, they understand the stress of it all. They have to. How could they not? They would likely do the same thing in your given situation. You don't have to stop going to that dr. Just go back and be big enough to apologize and assure them that you will do better next time. Sometimes just the most simple kindness can go such a long way. Love is a long road. But, when you take a detour it's hard not to get lost.

 

[ACADEMIC]

Here is a follow-up message for you, Menno:
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/o/loveofgo.htm

 

[~InHisHands~]

I liked that Academic

 

[MrJim]

appreciate the encouragement folks...

 

[~InHisHands~]

Anytime Menno.

 

[ZiSunka]

The thing is hon, they understand the stress of it all. They have to. How could they not? They would likely do the same thing in your given situation. You don't have to stop going to that dr. Just go back and be big enough to apologize and assure them that you will do better next time. Sometimes just the most simple kindness can go such a long way. Love is a long road. But, when you take a detour it's hard not to get lost.

I hear you. But I know I will just do it again.

My dad used to go to that doctor, and they were awful to him. And when I was waiting for my appointment, they were so rude to the patients that I wanted to get up and smack 'em (just kidding!).

There was this elderly man who was having trouble understanding his insurance claim and the bookkeeper came out and said, "I am up to here with you old people. You never understand your statements. How many times do I have to tell you to call your insurance company? I'm sick of saying that. I'm going to have a sign made that says, "Call your insurance company!" because I am tired of saying it to you people. Do I look like your insurance agent? I'm not and I'm not going to sit down with every patient and go over what got paid and what didn't. This is what you owe Mr Jones. This is what you have to pay and you are already 30 days overdue." She was screaming at him.

Then, whoever does his coding coded my claim wrong and the insurance company won't pay because they say it's a preexisting condition I didn't tell them about. $350 for an office visit and a single blood test that used to cost me $15 at my old doctor.

Then the doctor wanted to change my perscription, so I asked when I could come in and pick up it up, and the nurse told me they don't do paper perscriptions anymore, and demanded the phone number of my pharmacy so she could call it in. The weird thing is, I was there three days before and the doctor gave me a paper perscription! I told her my insurance requires me to mail in my perscription and she told me too bad, I couldn't get a paper script. So, I had to use a local pharmacy and I get to pay for it out of my own pocket.

I guess I'm still plenty mad.

So I guess I don't want to go back because I'm ashamed of myself and because I know I'll do it again.

 

[~InHisHands~]

If they treat their patients like that then I'm all for you changing docs. Holy cow!

 

[~InHisHands~]

Philippians 2
14 Do everything without complaining or arguing,
15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe

 

[MrJim]

Philippians 2
14 Do everything without complaining or arguing,
15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe

...so much work yet ahead...

 

[ZiSunka]

Philippians 2
14 Do everything without complaining or arguing,
15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe

I'm trying. It's not always easy, but I am trying.

 

[~InHisHands~]

I know. Believe me, I know!!

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

okay, here's something to think about if you want = what if ?

what if - they are overcharging not just you but old and widowed and orphans ......

what if - they get a big screen tv for every 30 papers they write ??

what if - 30 or 50 years ago, they would have done something different, maybe something that actually worked, and that cost less than ten percent of what they said to do now ?

then, would you 'feel better' or correct to be irritated , if not mad ??

if they "first of all, do NO HARM", then stick with 'em - they are a rare one.

but if they "first of all, anything else", then find another - getting mad won't change them - they have a lot of other 'fleecees' to keep them busy.

ps It might take a long time to find another, so pray a lot and do your homework, doing whatever you by and in faith have to do in the meanwhile .

pps one example: standard practice costs 200/mo for hbp
but an available not used costs 20/mo or less.

( same for most diagnoses, maybe 1 out of 1000 is an exception,; discoved this while i was in medical school and field)
that made me very mad - they thought it was right thing to do for more money !!!!