Condemned for staying Ill

[urbycoz]

Hi there,
I'm not quite sure what I'm hoping for by submitting this post. I guess I just want to share a little about my situation with some other Christians to see what you think.

My girlfriend suffers with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, otherwise known as M.E. (myalgic encephalomyelitis). It is a very upsetting illness. It leaves the sufferer constantly short of energy and having to rest, often preventing them from even getting out of bed at all. Whilst it is not a fatal illness, it is very distressing since the sufferer tends to go through periods of better health where improvement seems to be being made, before they suddenly drop off back to where they were before. My girlfriend has suffered with this illness for 10 years now (I met her 4 years ago). Her current level of health means that she is in bed for around 18 hours a day, and can usually manage one short walk or similar exercise once a day. Clearly she cannot work and life is very difficult for her.

We have tried various treatments. And have prayed hard for healing throughout the years. We have had our church pray for her several times. We have many good friends who pray for her too.

In our time together we have met several "Christian" preachers who preach that sickness is something we Christians don't ever have to put up with. We had encounters with some very aggressive people who told my girlfriend she WAS healed. She just had to have the faith. A visiting preacher to our local church by the name of Don Double also stated in his book that "it makes me sad that so many people accept their illness...when the truth is God wants to heal them". He also speaks of those who do not "qualify for a 'thorn in the flesh'". I find this kind of approach to sickness upsetting because it seems to me to be telling the sufferer that it is their fault that they are still ill.... as if they wanted to be.

We have not chosen for my girlfriend to stay ill. We do believe God does not want her to be in such distress. We also believe God has great plans for our life together, though they seem rather impossible and distant right now. We most certainly have NOT given up, and we do and will continue to pray for healing.

Also, after the experiences we have been through with different Christian attitudes, I feel I should just ask that you be sensitive in your replies. This is very difficult to talk about.

 

[Rafael]

I've been through this same thing. God can heal us, but He could also take us home tomorrow. God's will is not always easy to ascertain, and illness can be used for His glory as much as health. I've been ill for nine years now, having survived leukemia with diasabling side affects. I've blamed myself, been prayed for, and am still praying that God will heal me. I will keep bathing in the Jordan as many times as it takes or I will go home for healing, but I will be healed.
I can only encourage you to use your disabilities to glorify God where you are able to, and be brave and of good courage, knowing that God and cares for us and our infirmities. Many of God's greatest characters had to suffer and wait in faith for the relativly short time they were called to minister and be vessels of great use to God. After all these years, I have come to find that I would trade all my health in for just a short walk with Jesus, where He could use me as His vessel of honor.
Affliction can shape us and mold our faith, purifying it and getting rid of the dross that takes away from the shine. God sees ahead of us and knows our end. He knows what would happen to us if not for the lives we live and even has the hairs on our heads counted. We must trust Him no matter what others say that may discourage us.
Don't give up. Keep going to the Lord in faith. If one is to blame, then the whole Church is to be blamed for non-healing, as the gifts and prayer of faith is so very weak in His body. Jesus even asked if He would find faith when He returned, so instead of placing blame on ourselves or others, we must continue to praise Him and seek His touch.
God bless you both in your journey...

Romans 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

Psalms 46:2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

1 Peter 1:6 So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. 7 These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 8 You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy. 9 Your reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

James 1:2 Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. 3 For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

2Kings 5:14 Then went he down, and dipped himself seven times in Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God: and his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.

 

[Alternate Carpark]

I firmly believe God is more than capable of healing any illness.
With that said, I suffer from Glandular fever, which is basically the same thing as what you describe.
I was a shocking mess for two years. I have sought God for many years now for healing, with no result.

So I went through the checklist.

Is it sin in my life ?
Do I lack faith ?
Is god not hearing me ?
Is He waiting for the correct time to heal me ?
Is it a demon ?
Is God really real ?
Am I living in delusion/denial ?

You probably know the drill.
The glandular doesn't effect me anymore.The virus is still in my blood, but it is dormant.

Some visiting preachers are so funny. They can make a grand entrance and exit and they don't have to be concerned about what really happens after the meeting is over.

I remember one stating that he wasn't one of those preachers that comes in with some new doctrine that will fix everyones problems and then leave us to it.

It was so funny because he did just that. He started going on about how to channel the spirit of God through you when you write, so we all had the ability to write prophetic words.
Well, everyone participated and it was so exciting, so many wonderful things were being read out.
I was so hoping he would let me read mine aloud.
I wrote " My son, you left your oven on"

As long as you know in your heart that their is no hinderance on your part to recieve healing, then it is God's plan for the illlness to stay.
I struggled with this concept when I first was saved, as their was this Godly woman at my first church and she was blind from diabeties.

I asked her why she wasn't healed, she said the exact same thing as I am saying.
It took me years to accept that answer. And so will many others.
The only thing that I believe God has ever mentioned to me about my inability to be healed was "My grace is sufficient for you."

To me illness is suffering and we enter the kingdom of God through much suffering.
I was a crazy manic depressive for 10 years before God started healing me of it.
Yet he still doesn't heal me of glandular.

Do I lack faith, nope. When I am attacked by demons, and this happens often. I tell them to leave in Jesus' name and they flee, instantly. So faith is not the cause of my lack of healing.

You need to establish within your hearts, what God is saying to you regarding it. Then you will not be dismayed when people tell you anything differently.
Seek God diligently regarding the illness, He will tell you the deal with it.

Oh yeah...I almost forgot.
Romans 8:1 (KJV)
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

 

[allieisme]

I suffer from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.. and what I think my pain is from is my lack of handing everything over to God, when I need to. Instead I try and deal with all of this stress and I let it build and build and build, without praying about it.. I truly believe that is why my body is achy all the time, because I keep adding more stress onto my bones and joints. I had a Rev pray over me, and without me telling him what my problem was.. He knew it and he also told me that I need to learn how to let things go, and I have to just trust God, to fix things for me.
Does that make sense?
The medication I have and sometimes take doesnt help much, it seems its only masking the problem for an hour or so, so I have to pray about it.. I can tell you that the night the Rev prayed for me, I hurt worse than I ever have before, I hurt worse that night, than the night I had to go to the hospital because I was in so much pain, and I know the devil was trying to attack me and trying to make me 2nd guess myself and the Rev.
I know its hard, and it doesnt always work for everybody, but just keep praying for her health, and rebuke any sickness in her body daily, in the name of Jesus.
I will keep her in my prayers, do you mind telling me her name, so I can be more specific? If you'd like you can send me a pm with her name if you dont want it published in this thread, or if you dont even want to do that, thats totally cool, but you both will be in my prayers!

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Stay away from those people then. They are either weak in the faith, or are false Chrisitans. Illness is a fact, not a choice.

 

[makkulu]

"illness is a fact not a choice'. Great comment, Bizzlebin!

And yes, I agree about steering clear of the "it only takes faith" or "it must be because of sin" type folks. God is far bigger than that, and so is His love, and so is what He can do in and through our lives regardless of illness of any kind. Will be praying for you both, urbycoz.

Makk

 

[Joy]

Hi there,

My girlfriend suffers with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, otherwise known as M.E. (myalgic encephalomyelitis). It is a very upsetting illness. It leaves the sufferer constantly short of energy and having to rest, often preventing them from even getting out of bed at all. Whilst it is not a fatal illness, it is very distressing since the sufferer tends to go through periods of better health where improvement seems to be being made, before they suddenly drop off back to where they were before. My girlfriend has suffered with this illness for 10 years now (I met her 4 years ago). Her current level of health means that she is in bed for around 18 hours a day, and can usually manage one short walk or similar exercise once a day. Clearly she cannot work and life is very difficult for her.

We have tried various treatments. And have prayed hard for healing throughout the years. We have had our church pray for her several times. We have many good friends who pray for her too.
Be encouraged my friend I know where you're coming from I am now in the place, where I'll only let my friends pray for me. i have been to meetings and have been prayed for and even now am having to deal with painful memories created by such comments you mentioned. The problem so often is that people pray a couple of times for the person who is sick and when nothing apparently happens they give up praying, but I believe as you say we need to be those who continue to ask, seek and knock (Matt 7:7) i must admit I do not find this easy.

We have not chosen for my girlfriend to stay ill. We do believe God does not want her to be in such distress. We also believe God has great plans for our life together, though they seem rather impossible and distant right now. We most certainly have NOT given up, and we do and will continue to pray for healing.It is so encouraging that you have not given up in asking for healing.
Please be assured of my love and prayers and please let me know how you are getting on.

 

[Jterrry]

Oh how i can relate to you and your girlfriend. My husband has had a stroke 7 years ago when he was 30. We have heard from so many people, God will just heal him, you have to have faith.
Then when the 7 year mark came a month ago, everyone said oh 7 years means completion, he will be healed now! Well, he is still sick. It got to the point he was suicidial.
I truly feel for you and i will lift you up in prayer.

Jill

 

[urbycoz]

Thank you all for your comments. They are all very appreciated. Every one. Also your prayers are very important to us. You can't ever have too many.

I will keep you all informed of any work God does for us.

 

[bliz]

I met a woman with cerebal palsey and in a group coinversation, someone asked how she responded to people who said many of the same things you have heard - if she only had enough faith, if she would only pray harder, etc.

She smiled and replied: "Well, I take my good hand and I put it on their throat so I have their full attention and I say 'I wake up in this body every morning and believe that God loves me. You wake up in your body and believe that God loves you. Which one of us has more faith?' And that tends to shut them up."

 

[Leroi]

The symptoms you describe are often caused by Lyme disease; which is very often overlooked and misdiagnosed. The blood tests are very unreliable, many (most?) people never have a positive blood test for Lyme; there are very few labs that achieve a 50% reliablility of the Western Blot test, which is the most dependable test for Lyme. Very few people with Lyme remember being bitten by a tick or having a rash (in fact the rash is rare).

The diagnosis of Lyme is almost always done clinically. I suggest you seek out a LLMD.

I go here often and speak with others about my wife's Lyme disease:

flash.lymenet.org/scripts/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Medical+Questions

I think you should go there and post a question and see if anyone can help you. They will direct you to the "seeking a doctor" section and someone from you area should be able to help you find a LLMD (Lyme literate MD), there are comparatively very few LLMDs in the world.

There have been studies where MS patients were given antibiotics and they had the characteristic Herxheimer reaction that people with Lyme get when they take antibiotics and 90% of the MS patients got better!

I think you owe it to yourself and your girl-friend to check into this possibility. Lyme is very different from one person to the next and it takes a LLMD to recognize Lyme. Chronic Fatigue syndrome is very often associated with Lyme and its' coinfections.

You and your girl-friend will be included in my prayers.

[added]

This forum won't let me post a live link to the Lymnet forums, sorry.

 

[urbycoz]

The symptoms you describe are often caused by Lyme disease; which is very often overlooked and misdiagnosed. The blood tests are very unreliable, many (most?) people never have a positive blood test for Lyme; there are very few labs that achieve a 50% reliablility of the Western Blot test, which is the most dependable test for Lyme. Very few people with Lyme remember being bitten by a tick or having a rash (in fact the rash is rare).

I must admit I have never heard of this illness. Thank you for bringing it up. The reason we strongly believe my girlfriend has M.E. is that she began suffering with it after having had the measles vaccination while (unknowingly) suffering with glandular fever. She later discovered that this is a common cause of M.E. This reasured her that the diagnosis was correct. However, I will certainly look into this.

All the best to you and your wife.

 

[LynneClomina]

when i was sixteen i got sick, and two or three years later i was finally diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, aka myalgic encephalomyelitis. i spent most of the next...8 years in bed, and walked with a cane for quite a while, too. i only started feeling better when i was about 24, but the last few weeks i wonder if it isnt relapsing. just wanted to say that i know what it's like.

 

[Yitzchak]

It is up to you of course how you handle things..... I would caution though against assuming that you know Just what the reason or problem is for not being healed.....
We all struggle with things, whether illness, financial problems, relationships, unsaved loved ones....... I can identify with you feeling frustrated at someone who speaks so emphatically that it "must be" lack of faith or some other specific cause on the basis that they believe that is the cause 100% of the time. However, to go to the opposite extreme and say that is the cause zero percent of the time is just as foolish.
Faith is a very important concept in the Christian life and goes beyond just faith for salvation and is cartainly always worth looking into lack of faith as a cause for problems in the Christian life.
Therefore, my advice is not to wildly speculate one way or the other but seek the Lord with prayer and fasting until you Hear from God what He has to say concerning the situation. I can understand you entertaining the possibility that these people speaking "hyper-faith" at you are not speaking for the Lord and are merely giving their theories. However, beware of substituting yet another "human" theory in it's place.
It is certainly fine to say "I don't know" and that I am seeking the Lord concerning it but have not heard a clear answer yet..... I don't think giving up without a clear answer is wise. None of us can "force" or pressure the Lord into speaking to us or into healing us but we can seek until we get some kind of clear answer.

 

[2scoops]

I would reccommend you read a book written by John E Sarno called "The Mindbody Prescription", our emotions actually do cause us pain, all sorts of pain. Sarno has a theory called TMS(tension Myositis Syndrome), I would do a sreach on that if I were you, also I would go to tarpityoga.com and in the right hand corner click on TMS info, she gives one of the best descriptions on TMS. Also there is a message board at tmshelp.com where you can ask questions, it is at tmshelp.com. I have had back pain due to these emotions, the book has helped me more than any doctor. We all know doctors do not treat causes, only symptoms, thet give us a pill and hope for the best. People who are perfectionists, goodists, have low self esteem, repress anger and other types of people are more a trisk of developing chronic pain and other symptoms. Also Dr. Sarno has treated many with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and has cured many. John Stossel was a patient and so was Howard Stern, believe it or not, but they are now pain-free. Here are the pain syndromes caused by TMS. So if you have one or more of these symptoms you may want to red the book. God bless.

Low back pain, diagnosed with one or more of the following:

• Sciatica
• Osteoarthritis
• Spinal stenosis
• Herniated/bulging/degenerated lumbar disc
• Scoliosis
• Spondylolysthesis
• Piriformis syndrome
• Weak/inflexible torso or hip muscles
• Spina bifida occulta
• Spondylolysis
• Transitional vertebra

• Neck/shoulder pain, diagnosed with one or more of the following:
  • Osteoarthritis
  • Pinched nerve
  • Herniated/bulging/degenerated cervical disc
  • Whiplash
  • Thoracic outlet syndrome
  • Weak/inflexible neck, shoulder girdle, or rotator cuff muscles
  • Rotator cuff tears
  • Bursitis
  • Tendonitis
• Knee pain, diagnosed with one or more of the following:
  • Tendonitis
  • Torn meniscus
  • Chondromalacia
  • Unstable patella
  • Muscular imbalances around the knee joint
  • Osteoarthritis
• Elbow pain, diagnosed with one or more of the following:
  • Tennis elbow
  • Tendonitis
  • Muscular imbalances around the elbow joint
  • Osteoarthritis
• Foot/lower leg pain, diagnosed with one or more of the following:
  • Tendonitis
  • Plantar fasciitis
  • Plantar metatarsalgia
  • Neuroma
  • Flat feet
  • Calcium deposit/heel spur
  • Shin splints
  • Muscular imbalances around the ankle or foot joints
  • Osteoarthritis
• Wrist/hand pain, diagnosed with one or more of the following:
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome/repetitive stress injury
  • Tendonitis
  • Muscular imbalances around the wrist or hand joints
  • Osteoarthritis
• Nerve dysfunction
  • Sciatica
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome/repetitive stress injury
  • Trigeminal neuralgia/tic douloureux
  • Bell's palsy
• Temporal mandibular joint syndrome (TMJ)
• Fibromyalgia
• Myofascial pain syndrome
• Tension myalgia
• Chronic pain

Gastrointestinal disorders. Also affected by the autonomic nervous system.

• Heartburn/acid reflux
• Hiatus hernia
• Gastritis
• Ulcer (Yes, h. pylori bacteria may be present and may even cause ulcers. That would mean the ulcer is the result of an infectious agent. Frequent infections are also a manifestation of TMS.)
• Nervous stomach
• Spastic colon
• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Colitis

Circulatory disorders. Also affected by the autonomic nervous system.

• Tension headache
• Migraine
• Raynaud's phenomenon (excessively cold hands/feet)

Genitourinary disorders. Also affected by the autonomic nervous system.

• Frequent urination
• Urinary tract infections
• Prostatitis

Cardiac disorders. Also affected by the autonomic nervous system.

• Rapid pounding heartbeat (paroxysmal auricular tachycardia)
• Extra (ectopic) heartbeats

Immune system disorders.

• Allergies
• Asthma attacks
• Frequent infections
  • Colds
  • Urinary tract infections
  • Yeast infections
  • Recurrent herpes simplex
• Skin disorders
  • Acne
  • Hives
  • Psoriasis
  • Eczema
• Epstein-Barr syndrome

Psychological disorders.

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Miscellaneous disorders.

• Dizziness/vertigo
• Tinnitus (ringing in the ears)
• Chronic fatigue syndrome
• Laryngitis/spasmodic dysphonia

 

[TheMainException]

Man, those preachers were harsh. It sure isn't your friend's fault to be sick. Satan is plaguing your friends body and all you can do is continue to pray, but God may have other plans in order to use your friend for. Just have hope and pray for God's will, for it may seem bad now, but it may end up saving others later.

 

[praisegirl2]

I have suffered from fibromyalgia and CFS for several years and I have been prayed for many many times in my church. I see healings at my church every service from cancer and other illnesses. I get depressed sometimes and ask why! But I Know one thing it is not my faith that causes me not to get healed. I have great faith in the Lord. I know that if he decides to heal me he will. I don't know why he hasn't yet but that is up to him. Sometimes our healing does come by him just taking us home. I have even prayed that before Lord please just take me on home. I do believe sin in our lives can cause sickness. I am waiting for my healing if it comes while I am still here on the earth great if not then I know I will have a perfect body when I get home to be with Jesus.