It is.It totally sounds like the Texas lady with the Kung-fu husband, LOL!!!! I have to say she was one of my favorite posters of all time. She was also super obsessed with OSAS.
Anyways, if this is real..... and your wife's behavior bothers you, you have to learn to talk to her. And maybe read the Bible together- iron sharpens iron sort of thing.
If only you could stand up to your wife like this. It's okay to be angry with your wife. Being angry with me, won't improve your marriage.I respect what you say but I disagree with you. I don't see it as gossip since my wife does the things she does out in the open. And I disagree that one needs to be blameless in order to offer correction, if that are the case there would be no criminal justice system, law enforcement or a department of corrections. To me it seems like it is a common theme these days amongst Christians and non Christians alike, that it is unacceptable for men to criticize any behaviors of a woman.
I think you are projecting. Disagreeing with you is not a sign of anger at you and further I am not angry at her. As a wife she is a great woman and is the primary breadwinner of the family. My concern is if her actions and her justification of her actions could be an indication (fruit) of spiritual problems. Like I said nothing she does is particularly heinous and really wouldn't ruffle any feathers in the world at large. However, remember to God there aren't any big or little sins. So it is true that all sins can be forgiven, the doctrine our church follows is that one's sins are only forgiven if one recognizes his/her actions as sinful and at least want to be forgiven.If only you could stand up to your wife like this. It's okay to be angry with your wife. Being angry with me, won't improve your marriage.
Does it bother you that she is the breadwinner? I don't see your opinions as wrong, it's how you feel. But, it seems like you nitpick at her, as it's not uncommon for men to feel insecure when their spouses are the breadwinner. That's not me saying this, studies have come out about that. So, all I ask of you, is to make sure that your opinions of this business trip, is coming from the right place.I think you are projecting. Disagreeing with you is not a sign of anger at you and further I am not angry at her. As a wife she is a great woman and is the primary breadwinner of the family. My concern is if her actions and her justification of her actions could be an indication (fruit) of spiritual problems. Like I said nothing she does is particularly heinous and really wouldn't ruffle any feathers in the world at large. However, remember to God there aren't any big or little sins. So it is true that all sins can be forgiven, the doctrine our church follows is that one's sins are only forgiven if one recognizes his/her actions as sinful and at least want to be forgiven.
I would ask you not to read into issues which are not there. I have no problem with a bread winner wife, our arrangement allows me tune to volunteer and engage in other community oriented actives. After all it is 2019 women have been a major part of the workforce since World War II so it makes sense that in almost 80 years there would it at least should be a significant number of women who may earn more than their husbands.Does it bother you that she is the breadwinner? I don't see your opinions as wrong, it's how you feel. But, it seems like you nitpick at her, as it's not uncommon for men to feel insecure when their spouses are the breadwinner.
I’m not meaning to read into your post. I think that it just seems from your post, that you nitpick your wife’s every move. Reread your OP. Every move she made on the business trip, you felt the need to correct her. It’s not for me to judge your marriage but your wife is her own person. Helping and supporting her and she doing the same for you, is always a good thing. But I can only read what you posted, and you post like someone who feels the need to tell your wife how to “behave.” Only God can do what we aren’t able to do.I would ask you not to read into issues which are not there. I have no problem with a bread winner wife, our arrangement allows me tune to volunteer and engage in other community oriented actives. After all it is 2019 women have been a major part of the workforce since World War II so it makes sense that in almost 80 years there would it at least should be a significant number of women who may earn more than their husbands.
I could easily ask you if the reason you believe correction is synonymous with control due to the complicated history of the place of women in the Christian faith and the fact that both in the past and in the present there exist and will exist some men who use scripture to justify abuses against women? I could ask you if it is possible that since some Christians today and many in the past hold/held that the hallmark of a good Christian woman is to be subservient to men, an idea which from some of your order posts you disagree with, you mistakenly see bids to control and subjugate whenever a man happens to disagree with the actions of a woman?
Yes I felt the need to correct her when she was breaking the law and when she was ding something that may lead to professional consequences. Like I said she is our primary breadwinner so if she were to lose her job by doing something that would be considered dishonest that affects the whole family. That would be no different if the primary bread winner is a man.I’m not meaning to read into your post. I think that it just seems from your post, that you nitpick your wife’s every move. Reread your OP. Every move she made on the business trip, you felt the need to correct her. It’s not for me to judge your marriage but your wife is her own person. Helping and supporting her and she doing the same for you, is always a good thing. But I can only read what you posted, and you post like someone who feels the need to tell your wife how to “behave.” Only God can do what we aren’t able to do.
Let me say, I’ve given advice to men on here before that agrees with their view, over their wife. Just because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean I don’t side with men sometimes.Yes I felt the need to correct her when she was breaking the law and when she was ding something that may lead to professional consequences. Like I said she is our primary breadwinner so if she were to lose her job by doing something that would be considered dishonest that affects the whole family. That would be no different if the primary bread winner is a man.
I never made an accusation that you would side with a woman based solely on the fact that you are a woman. However I was making the observation that your assertion that my issues with my wife's actions stem from a sense of inadequacy due to having a female breadwinner is as sexist as if I were to ask you if your opinion based on what's right and wrong may be rooted in a misplaced fear of patriarchy.Let me say, I’ve given advice to men on here before that agrees with their view, over their wife. Just because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean I don’t side with men sometimes.
I am not looking for agreement from any one here. I am pretty sure that Province of Alberta agrees that purposely covering up a tag with snow is not preferable and I am pretty sure that my wife's company's fiance department would agree that taking too many liberties with a finance account is not advised. In fact my question was never if this type of behavior was right our wrong. My question is at what point do certain behaviors show "bad fruit" and the associated spiritual implications. I never asked for advice on how to deal with my wife's little behavorial issues, in fact if you look objectively at it through a worldly lense I would benefit the most from her actions after all I to am partial to ski trips, fancy restaurants and hopping parties. And as for the "opinions" I received from most people here, none really addressed my question and most revolved around whether I was a legitimate poster or if I was some other guy.If we’re honest, sometimes we ask for advice but we really just want agreement. Some here have shared a differing opinion but you don’t like that. That’s life, though. I’m guilty of it too. Lol I sometimes don’t want advice, I just want everyone to think I’m right.
Her honesty to me was never really in question. It is true that her explanation of why she was going on business trip was hella sketchy and to her credit she didn't try to hide anything from me, but my opinion still remains unchanged and that it was hella sketchy and I am sure if her company's fiance team knew they would think so too. This goes back to crux of my question. That question being what kind of spiritual fruit does this type of behavior display? That behavior being she knows well enough that she needs to hide her behavior, in the case of the trip expenses from fiance, and in the case of her inability to follow traffic laws from the province of Alberta, yet she still does these things without any hint of remorse, guilt or even a second thought. And what does it mean for the state of her salvation. This might be selfish but i have a vested interest in her salvation because I want death to only separate us temporarily.ou’re wrong entirely by the way. But the fact that you went on the trip shows you that your wife has nothing to hide.
She definitely does and part of my question is weather it is possible that this condition is the result of not fully embracing the holy spirit.The only thing I do think about with this situation that concerns me is your wife seems to cave to peer pressure. Hopefully that isn’t the norm.
I think a lot of what you say is the direct result people deciding for themselves what would constitute a big or a little sin. I am in no way making the argument that in the world certain crimes are not more serious than other crimes (murder vs shoplifting for example) but when we start to believe that God judges in that way things get dicey. It seems that when we as imperfect people start to categorize what sins are more or less offensive to God than others we tend to rank sins which we personally are more partial to as less serious than sins which we are not personally partial to. It cannot be a coincidence that, at least with the majority of American Chrustisns it seems the seriousness of the sins of Divorce, sex outside of wedlock, infidelity, and then Homosexuality are often ranked in that order.Hi Les. I think I've read enough to chime in here with experience as an employer myself. We've had a past employee who behaved inappropriately enough on the clock to raise concerns among those in our family who own the company while, at the same time, not being such a big deal among other employees. We would have been quite happy that there would have been somebody "nitpicking" at this guy to raise awareness for him about the unfairness placed on the signers of his check.
That being said, as a Christian, I don't buy the "nitpicking" point when it comes to our place of correcting one another who are in the faith. When I hear people argue that we shouldn't judge others among us for wrong-doings openly done, I can't help but reflect on how many times even non-Christians have "judged" Christians with words like, "Oh, I thought you were a Christian but you're doing this or that...Well, doesn't the Bible say this/that and look at what you're doing...OR...Well, you're being judgmental (a judgmental statement in itself)" There are commenters who create rules as they go along in order to keep you in the hot-seat. And rest assured that happens on CF about a thousand times more than I've read even on some non-Christian sites. Thus, my hiatus until recently just returning to read and share thoughts.
Your wife's boundary issues are not some one-sided issue that should cause you to question your concerns when you clearly saw the tampering with license plate and experienced smoking weed. Don't let anybody corner you into any narcissistic argument on why you must be somehow unfair for your concerns. Your concerns are spot-on and IMO need to be addressed with prayer, seeking through Bible passages for clear direction, discussions with her, counseling with leadership, and a cycle of continuation (prayer, seeking, discussion, counseling...)
I definitely agree with you on this. As believers, most of us have to constantly seek from the Lord discernment of our own motives, our own mild-to-severe treatment of various sins, and even our own selectivity of temptations that we sometimes choose to fall into. This honestly is how we are tempted to be - especially in places where it's easy to wear the badge/label of Christianity without feeling compelled to produce its fruits. God knows I have been guilty of this and continue to repentantly seek Him for strength to obey.It seems that when we as imperfect people start to categorize what sins are more or less offensive to God than others we tend to rank sins which we personally are more partial to as less serious than sins which we are not personally partial to.
Here I must disagree with you slightly. In my experience many believers judge other believers very harshly for a whole host of things, up to and including not being forgiving enough. It is almost like it is shine sort of competition to prove how much "more Christian" one can be than their peers. But again it seems much of this harsh judgement is reserved for sins which that person is not particularly partial to.Such statements as "Jesus said don't judge" and "we shouldn't throw stones" that are often spoken among believers (not so much among non-believers) are the very enabling weapons we Christians use against the effectiveness of our own Savior's gospel message. Thus, many on the outside call us hypocrites because of the many sins we overlook - overlooking just so that we don't come across as judgmental.
As such it would be extremely prideful to think that he is particularly concerned over what we little people do in or day to day lives.
I totally disagree. But that's what my wife believes and I am praying that she may discover that Good reveals himself to get to change not only her mind but her heart.I agree with what your wife said about the vastness of God in correlation to the universe - I agree whole heartedly.
What I don't agree with is the above statement as it is certainly not Biblically true about the character of God. Do you believe that God does not care about us?
I totally disagree. But that's what my wife believes and I am praying that she may discover that Good reveals himself to get to change not only her mind but her heart.
I disagree (with my wife) that God doesn't care about what we do. I agree with you that such a statement is not biblical. She equated some one/something as grand as God concerning him self with something as small as us to us concerning our selves with the minutia of the lives of perimecium but I would counter that such a statement would be prideful as it implies we could quantify the shear size of God's compassion.I'm sorry to appear like I'm prying, but I just want some clarification as to what you disagree on?
I totally agree (and am praying) on the hope that God will intervene, it's great that she hasn't denounced Him at all. So, there is hope!
I disagree (with my wife) that God doesn't care about what we do. I agree with you that such a statement is not biblical. She equated some one/something as grand as God concerning him self with something as small as us to us concerning our selves with the minutia of the lives of perimecium but I would counter that such a statement would be prideful as it implies we could quantify the shear size of God's compassion.
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