Compulsive Praying

[EtainSkirata]

Hello again,
I keep having these obsessive thoughts that I'm saying something... unholy, to put it vaguely. It's not so bad when I'm at work, because then I can focus on my job and my mind isn't really free to wander. But when I'm off work, in the mornings or evenings, I keep thinking that I've said something bad. And I can feel as though my mouth is moving slightly and I'm whispering bad things. Sometimes I'll pause and check to make sure my mouth is closed.

It's the worst when I'm running, because my mouth is open to breathe, and moving slightly because that's just what mouths do, but the thoughts come along full force, and because I'm so deep in thought I tend to move my mouth with something that's in the forefront of my mind. And so I get stuck in thought patterns of "I felt myself say something. I need to pray for forgiveness so that I won't have any evil around me." (These aren't quite my exact thoughts, but I don't want to get too into it.)

I realize that I am not my thoughts, that who I am is based not on the thoughts but on my reaction to the thoughts, and that this is DEFINITELY obsessive-compulsive behavior. But knowing these things doesn't make the fear go away. It doesn't stop me constantly needing to pray. I'm not sure how to do some kind of self guided cognitive behavioral therapy with this. The idea, I think, would be to stop constantly praying (not ceasing to pray in general, but stop the obsessive praying), and in time, the thoughts would simmer down. But I'm a little scared to do that, because if I don't want to risk really saying something bad and having something bad happen in the interim between when I do it and when I pray my nightly prayers.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I know I'm posting again about the same issue, but I really need some help...

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hello again,
I keep having these obsessive thoughts that I'm saying something... unholy, to put it vaguely. It's not so bad when I'm at work, because then I can focus on my job and my mind isn't really free to wander. But when I'm off work, in the mornings or evenings, I keep thinking that I've said something bad. And I can feel as though my mouth is moving slightly and I'm whispering bad things. Sometimes I'll pause and check to make sure my mouth is closed.

It's the worst when I'm running, because my mouth is open to breathe, and moving slightly because that's just what mouths do, but the thoughts come along full force, and because I'm so deep in thought I tend to move my mouth with something that's in the forefront of my mind. And so I get stuck in thought patterns of "I felt myself say something. I need to pray for forgiveness so that I won't have any evil around me." (These aren't quite my exact thoughts, but I don't want to get too into it.)

I realize that I am not my thoughts, that who I am is based not on the thoughts but on my reaction to the thoughts, and that this is DEFINITELY obsessive-compulsive behavior. But knowing these things doesn't make the fear go away. It doesn't stop me constantly needing to pray. I'm not sure how to do some kind of self guided cognitive behavioral therapy with this. The idea, I think, would be to stop constantly praying (not ceasing to pray in general, but stop the obsessive praying), and in time, the thoughts would simmer down. But I'm a little scared to do that, because if I don't want to risk really saying something bad and having something bad happen in the interim between when I do it and when I pray my nightly prayers.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I know I'm posting again about the same issue, but I really need some help...

Hi; it's good for one's prayer life to be guided by Scripture reading; for example, if you read a chapter of John's Gospel; e.g., chapters 1 or 3 or 14; or Romans chapter 8, then what is fresh in your mind may well settle your thoughts.

 

[Tolworth John]

doesn't stop me constantly needing to pray. I'm not sure how to do some kind of self guided cognitive behavioral therapy with this. The idea, I think, would be to stop constantly praying (not ceasing to pray in general, but stop the obsessive praying), and in time, the thoughts would simmer down. But I'm a little scared to do that,

You really need to talk to your therapist about technics that will help you with your OCD.

I can only suggest two things.
1/ That Jesus knows fully about your OCD and how it affects you. He knows it is a mental illness and not you saying/doing things, he understands and does not judge you on your illness.

2/ if you must pray constantly, then pray intelligently for the many needs around the country and the world.
Loft on to caring for Life in Leeds, or to the Morningstar hospice in South Africa, or to Open Doors, Year-round or any Christian mission find out what needs praying for and pray.

The point is not to look inwardly at your OCD, but to look outwardly to others in need.