complementarian tread.

[Single Life]

Are you a complementarian? Or you think that complementarianism is true across the Bible and in the church?

 

[Sketcher]

I'm a loose complementarian. I think it has to be loose rather than strict if love and individuality are going to be factored in. The men should be good at A, B, C, and whatever else. The women should be good at X, Y, Z, and whatever else. If the man can do X, or the woman can do C as well, great, work out what's best between the two of you.​

 

[CodyFaith]

I don't subscribe to the label because I feel that fits my view into a box, but I do believe in complimentary roles in a marriage. Scripture is clear in marriage that man is the head of the woman and the main leader. He should provide, lead/guide, be strong and capable in making wise decisions for his family. Scripture says Eve was created as a helper for Adam, and I think a wise woman recognizes that does not mean a slave or anything negative, but someone who helps her husband and family in numerous ways. I do believe women can (and likely, should) have careers. As for housework/childrearing, while I do think many women have more of a feminine touch for these things, I by all means do not believe the man can crack open a beer while his wife does all the housework. In this day of age there really is no excuse for not sharing the load, especially if she works all day as well in a career.

I do not believe in "enforcing authority" in a marriage as that is abuse. If a woman is not meek spirited towards her husband's wisdom and his specific calling and role in the home, that is a choice primarily between her and God. In no manner should a man try to "correct" her choices, that is where abuse comes from.

God created men and women different, and it's up to each sex to thrive in their specific God-given callings. God blesses those who submit to his will.

 

[blackribbon]

I think that this is a soft reality but not a firm truth. If it were so, then all Christian families would look the same with men born with strong leadership skills and women who were born without leadership ability. However, there are realities of life. Things like men being called away from the home to lead a career such as a soldier and in their absence, the wife has to step up into many of the husband's typical roles of family leadership. Or death, and the wife becomes the legal head of the household. If you believe in this theory, it would also mean that a husband could not function if the wife became ill or died because he wouldn't be equipped with the "wifely" skills needed to raise his children and would have to bring in a substitute woman to cook or care for his family.

No where in the Bible does it describe the "perfect" family. Each family is unique and each person has unique personalities and skills they bring into the marriage. A woman who is not able to give birth is not a failure in God's eyes. But under the complementarian theory, she would be since part of her role is to provide children. If a man has an illness or deficiency that makes him unable to earn a living that provides for his family financially, he would be a failure in a compementarian system.

I cannot believe that Joni Earckson Tada's marriage is a failure as a Christian marriage even though she is unable to do the traditional wive's role and actually must depend on her husband or other care givers to do the cleaning, the cooking, and even her own personal care but instead, she is a leader in the Christian world and likely brings in a good portion of their family financial support as she ministers and speaks around the world.

Compementarian is more a practical theory. A family needs to have all the family's needs met and it is best if they are divided between the different members of the family. To put all those roles on one person is likely to kill the marriage as well as to give them based on gender and not skills and talent is inefficient and impractical.

A healthy Christian family can exist between two or more siblings who never get married. A healthy Christian family can exist with one parent having passed away. A healthy Christian family can include an elderly parent or a member of an extended family. A healthy Christian family can exist without children. And the list goes on.

 

[blessedintrovert]

Yes I believe that all men are leaders in their home and Jesus has headship over the man, the man headship over his wife and family. It is a calling from God that can‘t be changed even if the current culture goes against the role.

 

[blackribbon]

Yes I believe that all men are leaders in their home and Jesus has headship over the man, the man headship over his wife and family. It is a calling from God that can‘t be changed even if the current culture goes against the role.

Who is the head if God has allowed the man to "come home" and has died?

 

[blessedintrovert]

It is up to the woman to get remarried if she wants to after some time has pasted. Then the man she marries takes the head of the family. If she doesn’t want to remarry then God is still the head of the family.

 

[blackribbon]

It is up to the woman to get remarried if she wants to after some time has pasted. Then the man she marries takes the head of the family. If she doesn’t want to remarry then God is still the head of the family.

"Up to the woman to get remarried"....where? at HusbandsRUs? All my time is used up being both mommy and daddy to our kids along with having to earning a living. The simple answer is that the woman becomes the head of her physical household with God being her God and focus...like it was when her husband was alive.

"Men" are not the head of the family. "Husbands" are. And unmarried adult woman does not answer to a man but only to God. I think that men who like to push the "husbands" are heads are not realizing that that also means they are responsible for everything their family does...good and bad. It is on their shoulders and they are responsible to God for how they treat their families and what direction their family goes following his lead. And if he isn't man enough to lead, he is also responsible for how they stray. Being "head" is a huge responsibility. It doesn't mean they sit in the recliner watching the tv while their family waits on them.

 

[blackribbon]

If men really took the time to understand their responsibility as "head of the family", I doubt that men would be so eager to get married..and they would definitely be less impulsive about it. Their potential wives appearance would be less important than her character because marriage is so much bigger their lusts.

 

[blessedintrovert]

I know I am not interested in marrage right how.

 

[Single Life]

I am in the camp of God brings me the lady and we are in a courtship in the terms of getting married.

 

[bèlla]

For me, it begins with God’s purpose. It matters little if I dream of being at home if His plan involves a different path. My goal is to agree with His will and build a life in accordance to the missions we’ve received.

I’m comfortable in a male head of household relationship. I believe our mutual gifts and talents are important. And I’m willing to support and yield to godly authority. He must be capable of doing the same.

Neither label fits. There are aspects of my personality that reflect a 1950s mindset and others that are modern and independent. Biblical headship is my preference overall.

 

[bèlla]

Their potential wives appearance would be less important than her character because marriage is so much bigger their lusts.

Is an appreciation for her appearance only lust? If he delights in her form that’s fine. Oftentimes women seek security and respect a partner whose responsibility and provision meets that need.

I see nothing amiss with physical attraction. I want to satisfy his desire. Not ask him to set it aside. Its natural in my mind.