Even though you live away from your friends, doesn't mean you lose them. Call them and talk to them, chat on video chat, etc. There are a lot of ways to stay in touch.
But talking to your husband... here's what I saw in your post: that you have a lot of hurt about something, and it continues to hurt you, and you bring it up when you talk with him. This means you have not forgiven him for the hurt. Forgiveness means letting go of the perceived debt. You bring it up because you feel like he owes you an apology, a change in behaviour to make it stop, or even an explanation. My question is, DO you forgive him? Has he ever asked you to forgive him? What happens when you bring it up?
As for regular communication, it might help to let him talk about his perspective first while you really listen. When you listen, make sure you paraphrase back to him what you think he said, and then guess at how he feels about it. He will either confirm how he feels or he will say no, and possibly elaborate on what he's really feeling. Then dig down deep and empathize with his feelings - not necessarily his feelings coming from his perspective of the situation, but the feeling itself. Iow and for example, you might not know the pain he's in because he just got fired for no reason, but you can probably identify with pain coming from a false accusation. Use that to empathize with his pain.
Once you have sought to understand him and his feelings, then you can talk about your own. It sounds like he's the kind of guy that needs you to be brief and concise. It also helps to have a good sense of boundaries - know what you are responsible for, and take ownership of it. Know how you contribute to the relationship. Not that that always works because if he's not much of a talker, you likely don't know a lot of how HE thinks you contribute to the relationship. You only know from your perspective. And that is important to share with him, no matter whether he listens or how he interprets... talk to him. He is then responsible for how he interprets, and that could be as simple as asking for clarification... this is what I heard you say, did I understand correctly.
Most importantly, for both of you, always interpret what your partner says with a positive mindset - assume your partner is not hurting you deliberately, assume your partner wants the best for you, assume your partner believes in you - interpret with a bias towards the positive. Also, do not hold onto past stuff or bring it up in the future. If he has a behaviour that you've already discussed because it hurts you, then you might have to accept that he's not going to change it. Do not expect him to change anything. All you can do is change how you respond to it.
All the best to you and your husband as you navigate your communications.
