(The last thread got closed for unknowable reasons, so I thought I repost this for reference.)
When I post online, I find that I am largely well-understood (not agreed with, mind you, but as a general rule, I feel that the people who respond to me have understood what I'm attempting to say), so I thought I'd offer some troubleshooting tips for communicating clearly in this medium.
Please feel free to add your own (or argue with mine
).
1. Paragraphs, please.
Formatting is important. There's plenty of room for style, but it is very difficult to read through a solid block of text a mile long. So if you find that people tend to respond to your first three sentences and ignore the rest, you may want to hit the 'enter' key once or twice from now on.
2. Re-read the post that you are responding to.
I can't tell you how many times I've typed up some long-winded response and then realized that I had missed one word that was written that changed the whole nature of the post I was responding to. If you find people simply saying "What?" to your responses, take the time to read carefully the post you are responding to.
3. Don't assume that the person you are responding to is an evil, loud mouthed, dim-witted donkey.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes, I know he just told you that you're going to hell for brushing your teeth from left to right instead of the other way around, but he's a real person with real problems of his own. So if you find yourself in yelling matches (or smoldering sarcasm battles) on a regular basis, check your defensiveness (or other may confuse you for an evil, loud mouthed, dim-witted donkey).
4. If you have a problem with everyone, then 'everyone' is not the problem, you are.
This is a good rule of thumb for self-examination. If more than one person says that you are rude, or off-topic, or inconsistent, or hard to understand, or abrasive, or unkind, or condescending, or overly-sensitive, then, let's face it, you probably are. If you don't care what others think of you, then that's fine. But don't expect to be understood when half the board has you on 'ignore'.
5. Allow others to disagree with you.
He is not twisting your words or attacking you, he just thinks you're wrong. And that's ok. If you find yourself repeating the exact same thing over and over in a conversation, it may be time to cut your losses. You are not being 'heard' after the second explanation, anyway.
Good posting to you
When I post online, I find that I am largely well-understood (not agreed with, mind you, but as a general rule, I feel that the people who respond to me have understood what I'm attempting to say), so I thought I'd offer some troubleshooting tips for communicating clearly in this medium.
Please feel free to add your own (or argue with mine
).1. Paragraphs, please.
Formatting is important. There's plenty of room for style, but it is very difficult to read through a solid block of text a mile long. So if you find that people tend to respond to your first three sentences and ignore the rest, you may want to hit the 'enter' key once or twice from now on.
2. Re-read the post that you are responding to.
I can't tell you how many times I've typed up some long-winded response and then realized that I had missed one word that was written that changed the whole nature of the post I was responding to. If you find people simply saying "What?" to your responses, take the time to read carefully the post you are responding to.
3. Don't assume that the person you are responding to is an evil, loud mouthed, dim-witted donkey.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes, I know he just told you that you're going to hell for brushing your teeth from left to right instead of the other way around, but he's a real person with real problems of his own. So if you find yourself in yelling matches (or smoldering sarcasm battles) on a regular basis, check your defensiveness (or other may confuse you for an evil, loud mouthed, dim-witted donkey).
4. If you have a problem with everyone, then 'everyone' is not the problem, you are.
This is a good rule of thumb for self-examination. If more than one person says that you are rude, or off-topic, or inconsistent, or hard to understand, or abrasive, or unkind, or condescending, or overly-sensitive, then, let's face it, you probably are. If you don't care what others think of you, then that's fine. But don't expect to be understood when half the board has you on 'ignore'.
5. Allow others to disagree with you.
He is not twisting your words or attacking you, he just thinks you're wrong. And that's ok. If you find yourself repeating the exact same thing over and over in a conversation, it may be time to cut your losses. You are not being 'heard' after the second explanation, anyway.
Good posting to you
