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Common Reasons for Rejecting Help discussion

teresa

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Ever find that you have occasion to reject any and all help at times?

I have, and for me it was often a mixed bag of reasons.

Mostly for me it was a trust issue.

How about you? Can anyone here relate to these possible reasons?


(1) Might be too proud to accept offer?

(2) Might feel too undeserving to accept offer?

(3) Might connect acceptance with incurring a burdensome sense of obligation?

(4) Might associate taking from others as rendering themselves more vulnerable to them?
 

teresa

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rejecting all help at times also made me feel some sense of power

as I felt so totally helpless!

saying no and thwarting all attempts to help me was a way to stay in control

otherwise I felt such chaos and confusion

anyone else feel paralyzed to change?

(for the better)
 
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Gordon Wright

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If you seek help from God, that's one thing.

If you seek help from humans, you're taking all sorts of risks.

There was a time in my life when I looked to others for help in sorting out my problems. Mostly, they let me down. Frequently, they left me even worse off or flat out betrayed me. I wised up. Now I try to sort out my own problems. I may look to other mortals for useful information, but never for guidance. And I always question the information, because too many people simply don't know what they're talking about.

Make your own mistakes, instead of borrowing other people's stupidity. That way you learn.
 
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Angeleyes7715

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Feeling overwhelmed is my reason for rejecting help. When people offer services or resources it often feels like a load of snips qnd peices of how to get better and it just feels like too much random junk. Kind of like when you eat fast food and the menu is so crowded you don't even know what to get.

Feels like no one ever really has a straight direct answer.
 
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Southernscotty

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I guess for everyone it is different, Pride, Insecurities, Feelings of insecurity etc:
My original reason for not reaching out was trust issues. I didn't trust anyone before I was saved. I guess because I was raised in the woods and didn't see a whole variety of people growing up.
 
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Southernscotty

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Question: "How can I experience joy in my Christian life?"

Answer:
Joy is something we all long for but that often seems difficult to grab hold of. Experiencing joy should be a part of every Christian’s life. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, produced by God’s work in us, and it is part of God’s will for us.

We know that even the most mature of God’s people experience periods of joylessness. For instance, Job wished he had never been born (Job 3:11). David prayed to be taken away to a place where he would not have to deal with reality (Psalm 55:6–8). Elijah, even after defeating 450 prophets of Baal with fire called down from heaven (1 Kings 18:16–46), fled into the desert and asked God to take his life (1 Kings 19:3–5). If these men struggled, how can we experience consistent joy in the Christian life?

The first thing is to realize that joy is a gift from God. The root word for joy in the Greek is chara, which is closely related with the Greek charis for “grace.” Joy is both a gift of God as well as a response to the gifts of God. Joy comes when we are aware of God’s grace and relish His favor.

With this in mind, it’s evident that one way to experience joy is to focus on God. Rather than dwelling on our difficulties or those things robbing our contentment, we can dwell on God. This is not to say we should deny our discontent or stuff negative emotions. Following the example of many of the psalmists, we can pour out our hearts to God. We can tell Him bluntly all the things that ail us. But then we submit those things to Him, remember who He is, and are happy in Him. Psalms 3, 13, 18, 43, and 103 are good examples.

The book of Philippians has much to say about joy, even though Paul wrote the epistle from prison. Philippians 4:4–8 gives some guidelines for experiencing joy in the Christian life: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! . . . The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Here we see the importance of praising God, remembering that He is near, praying about our worries, and keeping our minds focused on the good things of God. We can experience joy when we intentionally praise. David wrote that the study of God’s Word can bring us joy (Psalm 19:8). We experience joy by communing with God through prayer. And we experience joy by keeping our focus on godly things rather than on difficult circumstances or discontentment.

Jesus also gave some instructions regarding joy. In John 15 He talked about abiding in Him and obeying Him. He said, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:9–11). One of the keys to joy is living in obedience to God.

Another way to experience joy in the Christian life is through community. God gave Elijah rest and then sent a man, Elisha, to help him (1 Kings 19:19–21). We, too, need friends that we can share our hurts and pains with (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12). Hebrews 10:19–25 says, “Brothers and sisters . . . let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Because of the grace of God, we know we can approach God confidently in prayer (Hebrews 10:19). We know we are cleansed of our sin (Hebrews 10:22). And we are joined into a new community, a family of believers. With our fellow believers, we hold firm to our faith, trusting in the character of God. We also encourage one another. Christians do not belong to this world (John 17:14–16; Philippians 3:20). We long to be with God, finally restored to our original design. Life can be lonely and discouraging. Others help remind us of truth, carry our burdens with us, and strengthen us to continue on (Galatians 6:10; Colossians 3:12–14).

Joy is meant to be a hallmark of the Christian life. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and a gift of God. We best receive this gift when we focus on the truth of who God is, commune with Him through prayer, and rely on the community of believers He has provided.
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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Ever find that you have occasion to reject any and all help at times?
I have, and for me it was often a mixed bag of reasons.
Mostly for me it was a trust issue.
How about you? Can anyone here relate to these possible reasons?
Often the price for "help" from a person or government agency is TOO HIGH, TOO GREAT a price to pay, and they won't always if ever make this known before .

I guess for everyone it is different, Pride, Insecurities, Feelings of insecurity etc:
My original reason for not reaching out was trust issues. I didn't trust anyone before I was saved. I guess because I was raised in the woods and didn't see a whole variety of people growing up.
I saw many hundreds of varieties of people over the years, and learned FROM SCRIPTURE and from the people themselves (their own lives and lies and results)
NOT TO TRUST THEM - especially religious people most of the time.

Instead, as written in Scripture; BEFORE trusting someone "Test what they say" or test them, their message or their lives,
test like the Bereans tested the APOSTLE'S messages -
making SURE BEFORE BELIEVING IT that it is in line with Scripture.
 
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Jeshu

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It is not true that caring loving people couldn't be trusted to care about you. They might not have all the right answers but they will care about your welfare. Especially believing people will pray for you and for your welfare. That is best they can do!

However it is true that ultimately we can only trust God to help us, but that doesn't mean that He wont use people around us to do that. i think it is good not to trust people 100 percent but only God, that is wise, however people send by God/love can be trusted to care about you even if they can not help you directly they can still help you indirectly.

i reckon when people have been abused by people then the trust issues can become really big, it took me some time to learn to trust in God 100 percent because i had been hurt by people. However i found God to be totally trustworthy.

Peace
 
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teresa

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A common ploy I unwittingly engaged in when I was younger, was to sabotage every good thing that came along in my life, including every good piece of advice anyone gave to me-I always found a reason why it could not work and all advice and help was all wrong.

Complaining and having constant troubles made me into a "drama queen" who could not think of anyone else but herself I was told.

And that really hurt-to be criticized like that instead of being heard.

But it planted a seed in myself as I wondered why I was so incredibly self centered.

Like Job, all the pain and losses seemed surreal, and totally unfair.

I could not grasp the "why" of what was happening to me.

One of the answers of why I self sabotaged, was that I did not think that I deserved to be happy, and I was secretly punishing myself. I hated myself.

The only way back to some semblance of stability, was to leave bad situations, live on my own and discover my own power and control over my life.

I pushed everyone away....bc I needed to. All I got was judgement and little to no insights as to why I needed to do this. But I did.

Can anyone here relate to consciously or unconsciously sabotaging the good in your life?

Did you discover that it was all about self hate?
 
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Jeshu

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A common ploy I unwittingly engaged in when I was younger, was to sabotage every good thing that came along in my life, including every good piece of advice anyone gave to me-I always found a reason why it could not work and all advice and help was all wrong.

Complaining and having constant troubles made me into a "drama queen" who could not think of anyone else but herself I was told.

And that really hurt-to be criticized like that instead of being heard.

But it planted a seed in myself as I wondered why I was so incredibly self centered.

Like Job, all the pain and losses seemed surreal, and totally unfair.

I could not grasp the "why" of what was happening to me.

One of the answers of why I self sabotaged, was that I did not think that I deserved to be happy, and I was secretly punishing myself. I hated myself.

The only way back to some semblance of stability, was to leave bad situations, live on my own and discover my own power and control over my life.

I pushed everyone away....bc I needed to. All I got was judgement and little to no insights as to why I needed to do this. But I did.

Can anyone here relate to consciously or unconsciously sabotaging the good in your life?

Did you discover that it was all about self hate?

Yes hope i did the same as you. it took the bad life other people brought my way and operated out of it. i hated myself so much that there was a long time in my life that i would have happily killed myself.

Jesus arrested me though and pointed out how my depressive illness had taken off with me and how loving God, other as well as self would make all the difference. It sure has!

Jesus hates it when we hate ourselves or treat ourselves badly for if we don't have love for ourselves how can we love others? Ask yourself how can we love God if we got no love within ourselves for ourself? We need love to begin with. (That is why taking His love for you as your own is a very smart thing to do!)

Life is about acquiring His love and getting rid of the bad life this world dishes out. Revelation 19
 
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