Hello!
During the brief period that I was active in this sub-forum, I noticed some things that the Lord has impressed upon me I need to share. First of all, this is a very tight-knit bunch, with some of the best fellowship I've ever experienced online. The level of sharing that takes place is intensely honest, real, and on a very gut level. That makes things very meaningful.
There has been a common fear expressed. On some level, it equates to God's people being bound by the devil which infuriates me; it also breaks my heart and makes me cry. Now you now why I needed a break from this particular sub-forum. This will be difficult to articulate, so i apologize in advance if I can't make everything perfectly clear. Please do try to hear what is being said? And if what I say here doesn't pertain to you in any way, please recognize I'm not directing it towards you. It certainly does pertain to me, and if any healing takes place here, do know that I'm first in line.
As an able minister of the Gospel it is always my job to edify believers with at least reminders (if not actual insight) into the power and authority we all have in Christ Jesus our Lord. This venue is a little different, in that everyone here is rock-solid in their relationship with the Lord so we are all peers in that way. It is with this respect that I submit:
In various ways, the wonderful women here have expressed fear of being in a relationship due to being compared to every other woman a man has been with, who has a heart like swiss cheese as a result. (Guys, keep reading cuz we have a role here too) And I can certainly understand how that wouldn't be very appealing! Something of prime importance is missing from that perspective; quite a few things, actually.
First of all, if any of those people were "all that," the person you (hypothetically) find yourself with wouldn't be available in the first place. While that may be obvious, it cannot be over-emphasized.
Second of all, you love the Lord, He knows you, and you contain treasure in your earthen vessel. In the right environment that treasure doesn't ever grow old, but only grows brighter and brighter! Is that "right environment" based on a relationship with a fellow human? Is an intimate relationship with someone of the opposite sex even part of that equation? These difficult questions we each have to answer for ourselves, but in order for any such relationship to be healthy, you can't approach it with the type of fear I'm trying to shed some light on here.
The way to beat that fear is perfectly natural, for both parties. As a woman, you need to recognize your worth and ability to absolutely 'blow the doors off' anyone your guy has ever been with, in any respect. Everyone here has already learned how to be direct and honest, and how to experience and share love. Real love, that only comes from God Himself! Yes, the old "His Grace is sufficient for us" applies here as well. (And in good taste I will leave it at that, simply stating that it does apply in every area of life in which He can pour out His Blessing)
In a healthy relationship a woman's self-esteem and confidence will skyrocket, and not only will she feel empowered and liberated, she'll actually be more powerful. Such things are healthy and natural, making my definition here a tautology.
In that environment, it's pretty much an automatic thing for a man to hit peak motivation; and while that may sound good on the surface, that's usually where troubles spring up. A little direction here and there from a woman's perspective is very much in order. You need to respect your own ability to "fill in the holes" that were formerly swiss cheese, and enjoy your ability to erase the past from his mind, presenting hope for the future. Every woman here has already proven herself to be amazing in her own right, and it's not at all prideful to appreciate that within yourself. In fact, to deny it is false humility.
Right now the man's role in this is so obvious to me it seems ludicrous to even state it, but I suspect the other people here will come up with things I don't see.
Thoughts?
During the brief period that I was active in this sub-forum, I noticed some things that the Lord has impressed upon me I need to share. First of all, this is a very tight-knit bunch, with some of the best fellowship I've ever experienced online. The level of sharing that takes place is intensely honest, real, and on a very gut level. That makes things very meaningful.
There has been a common fear expressed. On some level, it equates to God's people being bound by the devil which infuriates me; it also breaks my heart and makes me cry. Now you now why I needed a break from this particular sub-forum. This will be difficult to articulate, so i apologize in advance if I can't make everything perfectly clear. Please do try to hear what is being said? And if what I say here doesn't pertain to you in any way, please recognize I'm not directing it towards you. It certainly does pertain to me, and if any healing takes place here, do know that I'm first in line.
As an able minister of the Gospel it is always my job to edify believers with at least reminders (if not actual insight) into the power and authority we all have in Christ Jesus our Lord. This venue is a little different, in that everyone here is rock-solid in their relationship with the Lord so we are all peers in that way. It is with this respect that I submit:
In various ways, the wonderful women here have expressed fear of being in a relationship due to being compared to every other woman a man has been with, who has a heart like swiss cheese as a result. (Guys, keep reading cuz we have a role here too) And I can certainly understand how that wouldn't be very appealing! Something of prime importance is missing from that perspective; quite a few things, actually.
First of all, if any of those people were "all that," the person you (hypothetically) find yourself with wouldn't be available in the first place. While that may be obvious, it cannot be over-emphasized.
Second of all, you love the Lord, He knows you, and you contain treasure in your earthen vessel. In the right environment that treasure doesn't ever grow old, but only grows brighter and brighter! Is that "right environment" based on a relationship with a fellow human? Is an intimate relationship with someone of the opposite sex even part of that equation? These difficult questions we each have to answer for ourselves, but in order for any such relationship to be healthy, you can't approach it with the type of fear I'm trying to shed some light on here.
The way to beat that fear is perfectly natural, for both parties. As a woman, you need to recognize your worth and ability to absolutely 'blow the doors off' anyone your guy has ever been with, in any respect. Everyone here has already learned how to be direct and honest, and how to experience and share love. Real love, that only comes from God Himself! Yes, the old "His Grace is sufficient for us" applies here as well. (And in good taste I will leave it at that, simply stating that it does apply in every area of life in which He can pour out His Blessing)
In a healthy relationship a woman's self-esteem and confidence will skyrocket, and not only will she feel empowered and liberated, she'll actually be more powerful. Such things are healthy and natural, making my definition here a tautology.
In that environment, it's pretty much an automatic thing for a man to hit peak motivation; and while that may sound good on the surface, that's usually where troubles spring up. A little direction here and there from a woman's perspective is very much in order. You need to respect your own ability to "fill in the holes" that were formerly swiss cheese, and enjoy your ability to erase the past from his mind, presenting hope for the future. Every woman here has already proven herself to be amazing in her own right, and it's not at all prideful to appreciate that within yourself. In fact, to deny it is false humility.
Right now the man's role in this is so obvious to me it seems ludicrous to even state it, but I suspect the other people here will come up with things I don't see.
Thoughts?
Plus I don't want to date around - I think I get too emotionally involved (a woman thing?). I don't care anything about getting involved with someone and then it not working out. I've had enough turmoil to last my lifetime. So what I would like is a pal of the opposite sex. 
