Comments please, im writing a poetry book, feedback needed

[princesspumpkin]

Im writing a poetry book, called Reality Check with the sub title ( We live in world cut off from God and taken Captive by Satan) its dramatic yet real and raw, not for all but needs to be written i feel. God bless all and thanks in advance for any feedback it is much appreicated.


Captive

​

​

​

Eternity is diminished by the hands of time​

Imprisoned into a downward spiral​

A relentless awakening​

An avaricious poison​

​

Held together with an eagerness​

Fabricated from disparity​

And embellished with devilment​

​

Coerced into assurance​

Our liberties are displaced​

Crippled by militant hypocrisy​

​

Lodged in the depths of our grievous souls​

Silently we search through the rhythmic enigma​

Hoping for an accolade of freedom​

Hoping for an answer​

​

Captive into a state of longing​

Searching an escape​

Our hearts are filled with anguish​

Loveless and void​

Degenerate and depraved​

All our lives long​

We wait to be saved.​

​

The hands of time are curtailed by crime​

Saturated by sin, recalibrated to ear the screams of life from within​

​

By Princess Pumpkin​

15.10.07​

12.25am​

​

​

​

​