Coming Clean

[dinonum]

So last night, I did something crazy. I made a video confessing my problems with bulimia. I didn't really say everything that I wanted to in it, and it's kind of cheesy because of the limitations of time -- I needed to just get it done before I gave up on it and chickened out. The reason why this was so important was because I realized that yesterday I'd really started lying to my friends and family, and something clicked in my brain after I'd gotten home from church that this was definitely a sign that things were getting worse.

I'd purged so much last week, that come Monday, I couldn't keep anything down. In fear that others would find out what was going on, I simply lied and said I must be sick and then let others believe that I was possibly pregnant. I was even trying to convince myself of this.

I am not doing it anymore!

Part of what I talk about near the end of the video is this stupid desire to be perfect. I am not perfect, and none of us will ever be on our own. We have Christ, and He is what makes us perfect to God -- not to the world. There has never been a perfect person besides Christ, and I don't think that He was perfect based on how much He weighed. If perfection, of any kind, can never truly be reached then our priorities are messed up.

I don't mean that to upset anyone. It's mostly for me, but I think it is an important thing to at least try to come to terms with.

I'm trying to re-upload the video on YouTube, and I wanted to know beforehand though, if everyone was okay with me doing so.