Comic relief

[TrustAndObey]

I thought we could have a "comic relief" thread just for silly stuff.

Silly little things I've learned in life (my personal experiences)....

Don't walk in front of a fan with a paper plate full of potato chips.

Never ever expect a baby NOT to pee when you're changing their diaper. ALWAYS prepare for the worst-case scenario in that situation.

Never invite your husband's ex-wife to your wedding.

There's just a few things I've learned in life. What about you guys?

 

[TrustAndObey]

Be honest...does my new avatar look like a huge calculator? It's supposed to be a calendar.

 

[SassySDA]

Be honest...does my new avatar look like a huge calculator? It's supposed to be a calendar.

Not at all. When I saw it, first thing I said to myself was "neat calendar".

 

[happywiththelord]

yeah me to, i could tell it was a calculator.

 

[happywiththelord]

hmmm, life experience silly stuff, well...never ride a bike with flip flops on. not good!! its just an accident waiting to happen! haha


and oh, NEVER run downhill!!

 

[SassySDA]

hmmm, life experience silly stuff, well...never ride a bike with flip flops on. not good!! its just an accident waiting to happen! haha


and oh, NEVER run downhill!!

Never pig out on soup beans the night before a big meeting at work.

 

[honorthesabbath]

hmmm, life experience silly stuff, well...never ride a bike with flip flops on. not good!! its just an accident waiting to happen! haha


and oh, NEVER run downhill!!

Hey--watch it--I ride my bike with my flips ALL the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[happywiththelord]

be careful!! like i said, an accident waiting to happen. mark my words! haha

 

[SassySDA]

be careful!! like i said, an accident waiting to happen. mark my words! haha

No kidding, happy. LOL

I can't even walk in them with a catastrophe just down the sidewalk, waiting for me to come along.

 

[happywiththelord]

Notice my new avatar? I just love calvin and Hobbes. They make me laugh out loud and not very many things make me do that. They slay me!

 

[TrustAndObey]

I can honestly say I've never rode a bike in flip flops. Maybe they're named that so when you "flip" and "flop" off your bike you can't sue them?

There's just something about those things I can't stand anyway. I don't like having anything "between" my toes. I just got a cold chill thinking about it. I think my phobia comes from a childhood of running through our pasture and feeling "stuff" (cow poo) squish up between my bare toes. I was a tomboy extraordinaire.

When I was dating my dear hubby I wore toe rings to impress him a few times (I wasn't Christian then) and I was creeped out the whole time. I looked good, lol, but I was constantly looking at my feet going "ahhhhh...what is it? Oh, a toe ring. Whew." I woke up once convinced that a tarantula had a death grip on one of my toes.

It wasn't my cup of tea.

But Honor, you should consider the extensive surgery it would take to sew your big toe back on in the event of an unfortunate "splitting" accident. Those plastic tabs make the perfect little "wedge of doom" if you ask me.

 

[Vaudois]

Here's silly situation I put myself in:

Years ago, when we first came here, we found a vegetarian restaurant, at last!
It was a working class sorta place, Chinese of course; Buddhists can be full time or once a month vegetarians.

The non-Chinese will not step foot into a Chinese restaurant for fears of "unkosher" food (pork)....and whether it's meatless or not, no way they would enter.

So we slid happily into a booth and looked for the signboard for what's to eat....Eeeek it's all in Chinese!!!

All along the wall were little posterboards with the specials scrawled in ancient figures. Customers just point and the waitress fetchs.

Our puzzled waitress, stunned that we were even there, comes up to us, struggling to recall a few words in "Enggrish".

Knowing we were safe (all veggies, right?), I gallantly and with the air of the world traveller that I am, pointed to the red poster closest to our table.

"We want two of these, please..."

She drops her jaw, asks again, I repeat. She retreats, beet red.

She yells to the entire room of customers; a young man shyly comes to our table and I repeat the same request to him. He announces it to the entire room, which bursts out laughing.

"Can not have, uncle. Sign say:
"Please Do Not Spit on Floor!"

So much for saving face!

We are now good friends and regular customers. They even have our stop smoking books to give away on the counter....

 

[happywiththelord]

very funny story!!! thanks for sharing. i would have died! i bet you were so embarassed. it fun to look back at those embarassing times and laugh!! thanks again.

 

[Vaudois]

Embarassed? Well...not really...we thought it was hilarious, too.

 

[SassySDA]

Here's silly situation I put myself in:

Years ago, when we first came here, we found a vegetarian restaurant, at last!
It was a working class sorta place, Chinese of course; Buddhists can be full time or once a month vegetarians.

The non-Chinese will not step foot into a Chinese restaurant for fears of "unkosher" food (pork)....and whether it's meatless or not, no way they would enter.

So we slid happily into a booth and looked for the signboard for what's to eat....Eeeek it's all in Chinese!!!

All along the wall were little posterboards with the specials scrawled in ancient figures. Customers just point and the waitress fetchs.

Our puzzled waitress, stunned that we were even there, comes up to us, struggling to recall a few words in "Enggrish".

Knowing we were safe (all veggies, right?), I gallantly and with the air of the world traveller that I am, pointed to the red poster closest to our table.

"We want two of these, please..."

She drops her jaw, asks again, I repeat. She retreats, beet red.

She yells to the entire room of customers; a young man shyly comes to our table and I repeat the same request to him. He announces it to the entire room, which bursts out laughing.

"Can not have, uncle. Sign say:
"Please Do Not Spit on Floor!"

So much for saving face!

We are now good friends and regular customers. They even have our stop smoking books to give away on the counter....

ROFL

I would NEVER just point to a sign in a place like that. My luck it would be soup with fish eyeballs looking up at me saying, "How could you DO this to me?", and have so much wasabi in it that they'd have to call the fire department to put me out!!

You're ONE brave soul, my friend. ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

[Vaudois]

ROFL

I would NEVER just point to a sign in a place like that. My luck it would be soup with fish eyeballs looking up at me saying, "How could you DO this to me?", and have so much wasabi in it that they'd have to call the fire department to put me out!!

You're ONE brave soul, my friend. ROFL ROFL ROFL

Brave?? Naw...It was vegetarian, so no real fish. They make a gluten based fish with sea-weed skin that tastes like-better!-than the real thing. Sorry no eyeballs from tofu have been seen yet.
As a rule Chinese dislike wasabi, that green Japanese paste of the 30 second fire.

The Chinese have veggie food down to a fine art! They have had hundreds of more years to refine it than Adventists. Especially more refined than canned Adventist food.

This same place took all of our restaurant advice (my wife and I were both in the food service business) and moved, spruced up their image and there business is booming. They catered our Adventist VIP's visit here. The non-veggie beleivers loved it, and had a hard time beleiving the shrimp were actually soy/gluten.

 

[TrustAndObey]

Hehe Vaudois!! Maybe they like you so much now because you never try to spit on their floor!

That reminds me of something that happened to my younger sister and I when we went to visit my older sister in Germany.

Of all places, we went to a GREEK restaurant in Germany. This was way before I was a vegetarian or Adventist.......

While looking at the menus my older sister flat-out insisted that we try the lamb dishes. I'd look at a chicken dish and she'd say "Noooooooo...you can have that at home in the states. Try the lamb, YOU HAVE TO!!! You're in a different country, try different things!"

She kept telling us if we tried to order chicken she would order FOR us in German and we'd end up with a lamb dish anyway. LOL

My younger sister and I finally agreed to try a lamb dish and that's what we ordered. When they got to my older sister she said "I'll have the chicken."

Now I know why. Lamb is horrible!!!!

 

[Vaudois]

Hah! Old big sister trickster, huh?

Greek food is usually pretty good on Germany; I used to live and cook there. I would bet you ended up with mutton, that was sold as "lamb"...Was it strong and funky smelling, like a dog's hairbrush in the rain? Then it was an old sheep.

 

[SassySDA]

Hehe Vaudois!! Maybe they like you so much now because you never try to spit on their floor!

That reminds me of something that happened to my younger sister and I when we went to visit my older sister in Germany.

Of all places, we went to a GREEK restaurant in Germany. This was way before I was a vegetarian or Adventist.......

While looking at the menus my older sister flat-out insisted that we try the lamb dishes. I'd look at a chicken dish and she'd say "Noooooooo...you can have that at home in the states. Try the lamb, YOU HAVE TO!!! You're in a different country, try different things!"

She kept telling us if we tried to order chicken she would order FOR us in German and we'd end up with a lamb dish anyway. LOL

My younger sister and I finally agreed to try a lamb dish and that's what we ordered. When they got to my older sister she said "I'll have the chicken."

Now I know why. Lamb is horrible!!!!

Depending on how Lamb is made, it will either be the greatest thing you have ever tasted or the worst. Kind of the same thing as deer meat. If you get someone who is learned in cooking it, knowing what spices to use, etc., you'll love it. If you happen to run into someone who has no clue what their doing it's AWFUL.

I don't eat Lamb anymore, of course, but I used to love it.

My son drives me crazy. We all love mexican food, including him. We recently acquired a new mexican restaurant in town...AUTHENTIC...and it's terrific. My daughter treated me and it's really very inexpensive and the food is wonderful. Even though my son loves mexican food, every time we go there, on the few occassions my daughter has enough money to treat us, he orders the same thing...Cheeseburger and French Fries. It drives us both nuts, lol.

They have a wonderful vegetarian menu as well, which I had never seen in a mexican restaurant before. My church family LOVES that.

 

[happywiththelord]

Its the same thing with tofu!!

Depending on how Lamb is made, it will either be the greatest thing you have ever tasted or the worst. Kind of the same thing as deer meat. If you get someone who is learned in cooking it, knowing what spices to use, etc., you'll love it. If you happen to run into someone who has no clue what their doing it's AWFUL.

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