Come on in, the coffee's hot

lmarie23 said:

Hi everyone.

Jesusfreak, that show sounds like so much fun! and it's nice that you're doing another one for the summer... I used to be in musicals, i really enjoyed it. i was thinking of being in one this spring but i decided not to, in case i got a job.

April, how did your appointment with your nutritionist go? Good I hope. That wool sounds like quite a task! Yeah, I don't really picture you as a country girl either...

Tracey, I'm glad you like your job and are doing well...

Mask, camping sounds like fun! I hope you have a lovely time! I've never really been camping, like I have in a cabin but not in a tent.

I applied for the job working with mentally-handicapped and developmentally disabled adults at a group home. It was a pretty complicated application so I'm glad I have it done. Last night I had my Bible study, we're studying Revelation, and it's so fascinating. Last night we were talking about whether people would still follow Christ if everyone went to the same place in the afterlife and it didn't matter on the eternal scheme of things. And whether following Christ gives you a better life (we decided not an easier life, but a better life). And whether it is good to tell people, God has a great plan for your life. What if the person was going to die tomorrow? Would you still say that? We decided that although God has a great plan overall, we can't confine him to just the limits of our lives. Our lives fit into his great plan, but when we say "great plan for our lives" we so often focus on material things which isn't what God is concerned about. Really interesting discussion.

I love Bible study but I also hate coming home aftewards, because when I have a nice time somewhere I struggle with depression when I get home. Do any of you have that? So last night I was so depressed... oh well. Nights are just really hard for me.

Next week my family is vacationing in Texas. It should be a nice trip but maybe too much family time. My sister really gets on my nerves, so hopefully we get along ok....

Lynne

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Hi Imarie23 hope your ok.That job sounds good friend praying for you. I love working with the special needs children they are so lovely. ive just read your thing about bible study and coming home and feeling depressed. I know exactly what you mean! cos this is what has happend to me many times. This is what happened the other week and ive felt down since..
Why do you think you feel that way friend? With me its just the lack of relationships within the group like im not friends with anyone there where other people are. that can make you feel alone and a part from the group..sorry you find evenings hard. is that because your more tired.
anyway hope you have a lovely trip next week and it will be ok with your sister. always here for you Love Jo

Jo1 said:

Hi Imarie23 hope your ok.That job sounds good friend praying for you. I love working with the special needs children they are so lovely. ive just read your thing about bible study and coming home and feeling depressed. I know exactly what you mean! cos this is what has happend to me many times. This is what happened the other week and ive felt down since..
Why do you think you feel that way friend? With me its just the lack of relationships within the group like im not friends with anyone there where other people are. that can make you feel alone and a part from the group..sorry you find evenings hard. is that because your more tired.
anyway hope you have a lovely trip next week and it will be ok with your sister. always here for you Love Jo

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how are you, Jo??? feeling better than before? i hope so (hugs!)

thank you for the prayers and support. I actually feel very supported in the group, and I have several friends who go. I think I feel sad afterwards because the group is so nice, and then I get home and I'm alone and it's such a contrast so I get sad. And yes, I think the evenings are harder because I'm tired, and because I'm up all alone (my family goes to bed early).

i'm a little sad today because I found out I didnt' get a day care job I applied for. I was hoping for it. And I wrote my Bible study leader about a few of my struggles and he told me I should try to focus on being a blessing to others. I feel like he basically told me I was being too selfish, so I feel hurt. Though he's probably right.

But I'm reading this really good book - it's called Rachel's Tears and it's about Rachel Scott, the young Christian martyr from Columbine. It's about her journals, which were prayers to God, and her walk of faith. It's very riveting, I can't put it down....

Lynne

Mask, I'm glad that your husband is feeling better! That's good to hear. And the vacation does sound like a lot of fun!! Is the Park on P.E.I. as well?? Camping is a lot of fun... especially by the beach, wow, I can't imagine camping by the sea. It must be fantastic... I've been by the sea before, and I love it... and I've been camping here in Pennsylvania... but never camping by the sea. Sometime we'll have to combine it. Maybe once Jarrod and I are married.

Tracey, that makes sense to me - very good explanation! Hehe. I'm horrible at HTML type stuff... but I've learned a little here and there. Does that type of thing get tiresome after awhile, or do you find it interesting through-and-through?

Lynne, I get what you mean about being depressed after getting home... whenever I come home from somewhere where I've been interacting in a positive manner with a lot of people, I feel like crap, because - I think, anyway - being positive like that takes so much energy. Sometimes it feel like a facade that falls away as soon as I get between my own walls again. As a consequence, my acquaintances think I'm relatively cheerful (although rather cynical and quiet), while my parents and sister and fiance all know that I'm, well, that I'm not like that at all, except for the cynical part. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I am glad though, that you've got that group. It does sound like it's a lot of fun, and that the discussions are deep. That type of discussion is always the best, since it sticks with you after you're done discussing it with others.

Jo, how're you doing?? I hope that things are looking up for you as well. You've not let us know what's been going on for a little while; have you done any more birdwatching lately?


Hehe, it makes me smile to hear that you all don't have the mental image of me being a country girl. I admit, my character doesn't look too countryish, but who says that there can't be Goths in the country as well? (I think that is generally a phenomenon, though, since I'm the only small town redneck Goth that I know... ) But yep, I went to feed and water the girls (sheep and goat) tonight in my baggy black and orange pants, my black tshirt that says "I'm not crazy, I just do bad things when I don't get my meds," and my black wristbands that state "Make music not war." But seriously... I think I would shoot myself if I had to live permanently in a city/town. Too many people. And not as many interesting (in a good sense) characters. I mean, come on... the guy who lives down the hill from us is a retired taxidermist who traps foxes and muskrats with the help of the "mountain man" who lives across the road from us in a two room cabin! How can you beat THAT?? ;-)

I'm doing alright, I suppose. Feeling a bit down tonight - my nutritionist appointment didn't go the best - I'd gained 4lbs in 2 weeks, which is HORRIBLE and made me want to cry. Four pounds is a gigantic amount... and it scares me... my little "plan" backfired - I used the trip as a reason to severely cut back on my food, and as I'm only on 1200 calories normally, that meant going around 800 - 1000, with massive amounts of exercise (I walked 18 miles in a week). Bruce (nutritionist) told me that my body has been starved so much in the past that at any sign of starvation now, it's going to store up fat because it thinks that I'm going to be starving longterm, like I was doing a year and a half ago. So.... that made the rest of my day utterly icky. :-(

But anyway... am depressed because of that... I feel so fat, and I'm sure you all have felt like that at one time or another. It's not a pleasant feeling and it's hard to shake off, for me especially perhaps, I don't know.

On the positive side, a magazine that I get is sponsoring a 30-day challenge, with mental, spiritual, stewardship, and physical categories with different requirements. If I complete all of the required activities for each (they're all pretty strict, like memorizing Isaiah 53 or reading The Pilgrim's Progress or all the physical stuff), then I get a tshirt that says "Changing the world, starting with me." So I'm going for it, not just because of that, but because it'll give me a focus for the next 30 days. And I need that structure. So... wheeee. We'll see how that goes!

Anyway... long enough. *apologetic* Hugs to all!

First, Rachel Joy Scott and any book I have ever read on her are incredibly inspiring. She's one of my biggest role models.

Second, I don't know right now what I want to be called. I'm going through one of my mini-identity crisis things (I have them every couple months or so-anybody else go through that?). My name's Victoria but you can call me Vickey or V or I'm considering going by Toria (I can't be Tori-my bff when I was younger was Tori and it'd be weird for me to go by it). Basically, call me anything you want. I'll answer to it so long as you let me know in advance that you're calling me it and it's not derogatory.

TLB, I had horrible stage fright when I was younger. I hated the thought of going on a stage but I was such a little ham! Now, offstage, though I am loud and a bit dramatic, I'm not a ham (I hate having my picture taken and make weird faces every time a camera is pointed anywhere near my direction) but on stage I'm not acting; I am that person. ::shrug:: I just got used to it after being forced to do a couple shows in school.


Imarie23, I know exactly what you mean about getting depressed after a fun time out. I always dread the end of the night. I come home and go straight to bed in order to keep away the depression as much as possible.

And everybody guess what I've done? I've got a job! (Weirdly formatted sentences due to the fact that they're lines from my show.) I'm babysitting 4 kids tomorrow night ages between 5 and 10 if I remember correctly. It's going to be around 5 hours long, the kids'll be asleep for *at least* 2 of those hours (or at least I assume they will b/c it goes til midnight). I'm only hoping I'll be able to keep myself awake for the time the kids are asleep.

Oh, and I know this is getting long but, Soulwings, if you do manage to make that wool, I'd love to buy some off you. I think it'd be interesting to use homemade wool to knit. No hurry on it. I've got enough yarn to last me a long while! And I've only got 2 and a half more days of classes. The last day (Tuesday) is half classes, half "Springfest".

Done chewing your eyes out (instead of your ear off...). Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Hello,everyone.
It has been along time.
I miss you all!
I hope that everyone is doing well.
How is life with you all?
I wish that everyone is safe and happy.
I love you all

Hello everyone...TLB, BigToe, V, Lynne, Jo1, April!

Hi dnihila! Good to see you back! I was wondering where you disappeared to ! What has kept you busy for so long...if you don't mind me asking? I am well, safe and happy! Hope you are doing good?

April...the park is in P.E.I. I do NOT sleep in a tent (sometimes the kids do though)!! I couldn't stand the bugs, the hard sleeping surface (my back), or running to the washroom in the middle of the night in my p.js ! We rent a camping trailer. That's close enough to roughing it for me! It is awesome...I can hardly wait!

Try not to beat yourself up about gaining the 4 pounds ! Gaining weight does suck!! I really need to lose about 30 pounds but it's so hard! I hate dieting!! I live in denial a lot of the time, but every once in a while I get a good look at my body and .... .... I'm totally disguisted!!! I know how you feel about that.

Have fun babysitting V! If the children are sound asleep...most parents wouldn't get upset if you fell asleep on the couch.

Well I've got to make a BIG pot of chili this afternoon! We are having an anniversary party (potluck) for friends from out church, at the church tonight. It should be fun! I helped organize it and I'll have to help keep things in control and clean up afterwards so I'll be quite busy! Hopefully some of the people will just pitch in and help! My back is already aching so I'm not looking forward to doing all that physical work !

Have a great day everyone and I'll chat at you all later!

Hulloa everyone

V (Jesusfreak), I know what you mean about falling into the part of the person that you're playing. It's a little strange to become someone else, and I'd be worried about "who is the real me" ... but it's cool at the same time. I've never actually been on stage, but I've done some drama stuff for some of the classes that I took in high school.

I'll let you know when/if I've got the wool spun. ;-) It's probably going to take me a few years to get that far along though, haha, since I've not even started skirting it yet.

Tracey, I've picked up my avatars from all sorts of different sites on the web... if you google for "free avatars" you might get some of the sites that I did. There are a lot of rubbishy ones, but there are a few good ones that have loads of nice avvies.

I'm glad that you're not bored at your job yet - that would scare me as well, being bored at something that I've got to do, since it's a very unpleasant feeling! It does sound, though, like you've got a good variety of stuff to do, and that's definitely a good thing!!

Chili is a stew that usually has beans, turkey/ground beef, onions/peppers, and spices like chili powder (or ground chile peppers themselves), garlic/onion salt, and red pepper. At least, that's how I make mine (and Mask, I've made a big pot up this afternoon as well! except mine is vegetarian and it's just for me. ). I think it is somewhat similar to your curries, but I'm not completely sure on that one.

Dnihila, we've missed you around here!! How've you been lately? I'm doing pretty well, thanks. I hope all is well in your life as well!

Mask, I'm trying not to freak out too much over the four pounds... :-/ It's not working too well (haha), but I'm managing. Part of my brain says "Who cares?" while the other part keeps worrying that I'll keep gaining. But... I don't know, dieting isn't a one time thing. It's a lifestyle. Incorporate exercise into your schedule - as simple as 15 minutes of walking a day, or 30 - 45 minutes three times a week. Cut out junk food and eating out, use wheat flour instead of white (if you want to avoid the brown color in your cooking, use white wheat flour), and avoid red meat (beef/venison) and have white meat instead (fish/chicken/turkey). Seafood other than fish is also good. Increase veggies and fruits... but that's practically a given. And cut back on sweets/cookies and most carbs. Protein is the way to go. Probably all stuff you've heard before, but some of it's easy, and it'll keep your family healthier as well.

That's cool about camping. I've never camped except in a tent... that is roughing it... cooking over the campfire is an amazing experience (once we caught the bacon on fire ). Haha, and I've learnt how to bake cakes over the fire as well (although I think I forgot the details). And how to make blueberry muffins inside orange peels (they turn out delicious!!). Anyway, enough about food, haha. I hope that you enjoy it! Where on P.E.I. do you go? (I ♥ P.E.I., and wish that we could've stayed there longer!!)


Things with me are going okay. I haven't done all that much today, other than making the pot of chili. Which, in fact, is still on the stove. Hehe. My mum and I went to a glass museum near us (we've been there a couple of times, but it's HUGE and we've not seen half of it yet!), mostly to see their exhibit of glass flowers. They were amazing ... lifesize (or in some cases, larger than lifesize) flowers and fruit tree branches, exactly as they look in real life, but made out of blown glass! I can't believe how talented that guy must've been...

The challenge is going well so far. I've got to read more in The Pilgrim's Progress, though (I'm on the third chapter, I think), and I really should get cracking on memorising Isaiah 53. It's pretty long, but shouldn't take me ages since I can memorise fast (and forget fast, haha). The physical stuff is going quite well - I've walked today and yesterday for 30+ minutes (that isn't hard to do as we've got three dogs that need to be walked!), biked yesterday for 30 minutes, and am going to be doing yoga (athletic) for another 30 minutes this afternoon/evening. It's definitely going to be keeping me busy!! Hehe. We'll see how well I do.

*snuggles to all*

Hey again everyone!

A big welcome to you dinihili!!

Don't worry I'm new as well hehe!

Wow this is an active thread (a good thing tho) I feel really behind.

Sorry for being away so long guys things have been pretty hectic with uni and stuff...

Hope everyone's ok.

I'm not too great right now actually, and its mainly uni stuff ! Sorry to sound so gloomy guys heh. Well I had 2 exams...one went ok, the other not so ok, I'm not sure I passed the second one! But now I'm really scared! Like really scared, on how I did. But results aren't for another 3 weeks, so I know I've got to try and take my mind off it, otherwise I will drive myself crazy.

I know school and qualifications is not the be all and end all and everything in this world, which I agree with. But with uni - I have been at this for 4 years, and spent a lot of money, I don't want the last 4 years of my life to have been a waste of time! And that's really what is depressing me right now. I think technically, I only have to pass 1 out of these 2 exams I had left to technically pass and graduate (and I'd be thankful for just a pass and have something to show for it right now!) but I'm not 100% certain so now I'm kinda scared.

The basic gist of it is: we do 8 modules at uni, and I think you have to pass 6 to pass. I failed one last year, because I was in a seriously bad and depressed state of mind, and I didn't hand in a project I was meant to do, which was worth 60% of one module, meaning I then failed it. Then this year, I was stupid and picked a really hard moduler which I didn't have to take, I could've chosen an easier one, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. And because it was so hard and boring, it became difficult to be motivated and study for it (I did study for it, just not as much as I should have).

I think I mainly feel frustrated because I could have done this, had I not become so depressed at uni/college (when it started) and I'm frustrated with how things turned over for the worst when reaching uni, after working so hard to get there.

Anyway I don't know,. I think I really need God's peace right now. But I find prayer really hard when I'm like this too, it's difficult to focus.

Anyway sorry for blabbing, and for being so gloomy, I've had my better days mostly, I'm just at a fairly low patch right now. I hope you guys are ok. I like reading what you've all been up to!

Oh yeah, the graduation gown is hopeful thinking at the moment hehe! I always was curious as to how I'd look dressed in one of those xx

TLB said:

April - its good to hear your challenge is going well. I have used Google to find avatars but without much success, but I'll keep looking, I'd love to create my own. It sounds like your chili is similar to curry, the spices used might be slightly different and curries have pieces of meat in them, not ground meat. We call ground beef mince.

Judy - I'm studying too and it is so hard to stay motivated and even harder when you're depressed. I hope you do pass both exams. I know its easy to say but you can't do anything to change your marks so try to relax and not worry about whether you'll pass or not.

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Thanks. I just wish I could go back and I don't know, deal with the situations better than I did. I wish I hadn't gotton so bad. Last year, I was really suicidal for a long time, it was a huge effort to get out of bed, never mind study for a load of exams. So it really was a struggle. But I do really feel like life is over if I fail. Obviously not literally, but all that time work and effort over 4 years would have been pointless! I'm trying not to let it get me down,but it does. Especially because people who were just as academically bright as me, passed and did really well, my depression hit, and dragged me down!

Meh! It's hard not to feel frustrated and angry about it I guess.

Still wearing the hoody then TLB? Is it still rainy down there?

hi everyone.

i'm not feeling too chatty right now but i just wanted to say, TLB, that i just tried google to find avatars and i found two sites with a ton of free avatars - http://www.avatarity.com/ and http://www.ace-avatars.com/. They both have some cute ones, I thought. I had a hard time finding Christian avatars though. Do you like my new avatar? i had a hard time deciding on my favorite, i liked a lot of the friendship ones on the second site, but i decided on this one because it's just random. i was tired of having Third Day as my avatar.

April and Mask, that's cool that you both were making chili today! That sounds really yummy... I went out to eat tonight at a buffet restaurant with my family, which was nice as well.

Judy, I can understand feeling frustrated about being depressed in college and not doing as well as you would like, i was in the same boat for a while. I really hope and pray that you get good grades on your exams....

well, i'm off for a while, hope the rest of you are well!

hi everyone how are you all?
im not feeling great. saw a friend yesterday when i was out with dave. it was nice seeing her. but dave said i went into myself he doesnt like seein me so low.
woke up real early this morning. and feelin depressed thinking about church etc,.
anyway im going for now not feeling real talkative.
love Jo

Good morning, everyone!

Jude, first off - *crash tackle hugs* I've missed seeing you around! And secondly, I'm sorry that things aren't going so well. Uni is so stressful... I totally get that, and I remember all the stuff that you've had to go through with it. I hope that you did much better than you think on the harder exam Try not to think about the grade right now, since they won't be posted for a few weeks anyway. (Easier said than done... when grades were supposed to be posted for me this end-of-term, I was checking them about 4 times a day... haha :o) It would drive me to distraction too... *hugs* And also, can't you retake that module if you did fail it? (And don't look at the 4 years spent in college as a black or a white thing... even if you don't pass that hard module this term, you have learnt much in the past four years that you can use wherever you end up in life.) Hang in there, beautiful.

Lynne, I had fun looking at those sites too. Thanks for posting them, and I'll see which ones I can dig up as well. There was this one amazing site that had so many avvies it was insane, but I don't know if I can find it again. But I do like your new avatar!! Hehe.

How are you doing today?

Jo, I'm glad you got to see a friend yesterday... that had to be pleasant but not feeling good sucks. I hope you feel a bit better soon. Depression seems to come and go quite a lot, for everyone. (If I may wax poetic, it's rather like the tide... goes out and things are better, comes back awhile later and is drowning... but hopefully it's not quite as predictable as that.) *hugs* I wish I could help more, but I'm always here if you need to talk.


I'm doing okay this morning. Nothing much exciting is going on today, other than my going to my friend's graduation party this afternoon for a little while. I'm dreading that a little bit, since I'm shy around a lot of people, but once I'm there I think I'll be okay. I don't have to stay for very long, just long enough to hang out for a little while and congratulate her on making it through school.

And other than completing my daily challenge goals, I need to organize my avatars on my comp... I have SO many, and many of them are Goth/depressive (like the one that I have now). So I need to put those in a separate folder, and have the non-depressed ones in another folder, so I can pick and choose more easily. Hehe.

*snuggles to all*

Oh, and anyone want anything to drink? I think I'm going to go for a chilled ginger tea with orange juice, myself.

Good morning peoples!

Well the party went well last night! The couple celebrating (our friends) were very happy and blessed about the whole thing. They had great fun! Some of their older friends (they are in their late 50's and early 60's but very young at heart) even had some oldies music and they got crazy and even danced some of the old styles of dances ! I would be to shy to do that! I used to like to dance before I became a Christian...but that would be at a bar....after I had a few drinks to overcome my shyness ...that's not going to happen now! I was exhausted by the time we got home. It was a lot of work organizing all the food tables, serving the food, doing dishes, cleaning up and putting everything back in order for church tomorrow ! Oh well it blessed my friends so it was worth it. It kinda hurt though when my friend got up and said thank you and only really thanked the Pastor and his wife for planning the whole thing, when the Pastor had nothing to do with it...it was his wife, me and another girl . I guess he didn't know we did all the work....kinda sucks not to be recognized for all your hard work. Oh well, it was a good deed done !

I've got no plans for today. I slept in which was nice but now I gotten a bit of a headache! I was awoken at sunrise by stupid mosquitoes buzzing around my head!!! I had to kill three of them. Tis the season!

Well, have a fun day all!

Hey I miss you all
And I am fine busy and not busy this kind of thing
I don't know how sometimes you feel like you are so busy that you can't phone a friend or say hello or even bye bye to people but the reality is that your business is doing nothing that you just feel lazy for doing some stuff.
That you just want to stare at the ceiling or a beautiful picture I mean a place where you have peace of mind and calmness.
Mask: I guess when I show up again because one of you rub the computer again and here I am in the DEPRESSION SERVICE
Soulwings:Hello sister, how are you?I flew somewhere in the house actually but nothing wrong but a demand for coffee and a rest.
Jo1:o mind having a new friend, Who is ME Or are we already friends????

lmarie23:Hello sweetheart I miss your nice words and wish to see you smiling. PLEASE
Judy02: Hi Did we talk before??
TLB:Do you need waitresses in this coffe shop???
I am just wondering??? I miss reading your supportive lines.

Don't start wondering where I had my rest in out of being so energetic around here.
It is just that I miss you and I am happy to be back again talking to you all .