Come on in, the coffee's hot

BigToe · Apr 18, 2007

It's the whole control issue. Wanting it to be perfect the first time around is just another way to try and have control.

*snuggles*

Let me tell you, though, sometimes it is quite nice to sit in the backseat and let someone else drive for a while.

*snuggles*

Silver-winged Flyer · Apr 19, 2007

Thanks to those who have given me rep points for my signature. I really like it too and it keeps me motivated at work.

Soulwings · Apr 19, 2007

*snuggles BigToe* I know that it's a control issue.... or at least, I know that cognitively.... but I still don't want to give up any of that control. It would be so nice if I could just relax about uni and grades and everything, but I can't; it's not the way I've been brought up, and it's not the way I've seen people in my family act.

So I have a tutoring hour this morning - I tutor Spanish 1101, 1102, 2201, and 2202... and I think that this girl who is coming is going to want to work on oral stuff. And I suck at that, because I've only had up through 2202 - never had a conversation class. So I'm fine on the grammar stuff - as far as explaining goes. But I don't remember everything I learnt, although if you show me some examples in a book, I can explain it. But I can't speak fluently. So......... I'm a little scared. Because I hate telling people that I don't speak Spanish very well, because that makes me look bad as a tutor. I'm supposed to be able to do things better than the students.....

I got through everything last night okay, but I didn't sleep well, and I'm so tired this morning. And sick of uni! I wish it would all just go away for a little while.... that would be so nice. And yeah, I know that summer is coming up, but there's another semester coming up after that..... and I'm taking one more class than I am now, and that's going to be horrible. The only good thing is that my fiance is going to be living in the area then, God willing.

How is everyone else this morning?? And TLB, I love your sig too... Pooh rocks my world.

Silver-winged Flyer · Apr 19, 2007

Hey April, don't you just love Eeyore too? He's always miserable and its like he's saying its okay to be depressed.
I hope the Spanish tutoring goes okay. Don't worry about not knowing as much as your student, you've only studied to a certain level and can't be expected and you can't expect yourself to know more then that. Doesn't mean you're a failure (not that you think that but it sometimes could be a subconcious thought).
You've come so far with your recovery and getting through uni, I know you could do anything you set your mind to. Use my sig as motivation, that's what I'm doing and it works.

Silver-winged Flyer · Apr 19, 2007

I think there are some people who read this thread but don't post anything, I just want to say this isn't an exclusive clique, we like talking to everybody. If you're depressed, come and vent, if you're doing okay, then come in and chat too. The coffee's always fresh and free, and there's always a fresh batch of something that's just come out of the oven. If its cold, there's always a fire going and its very comfortable. So pull up a bean bag and just say what's on your mind.

Silver-winged Flyer · Apr 19, 2007

I have a theory:
All the wisdom that we need to get through life can be gotten from Winnie the Pooh.

AWorkInProgress · Apr 19, 2007

TLB said:
I think there are some people who read this thread but don't post anything, I just want to say this isn't an exclusive clique, we like talking to everybody. If you're depressed, come and vent, if you're doing okay, then come in and chat too. The coffee's always fresh and free, and there's always a fresh batch of something that's just come out of the oven. If its cold, there's always a fire going and its very comfortable. So pull up a bean bag and just say what's on your mind.

Yup, I read from time to time. Just really hard for me to join in with small chat. I need to be intrested. lol

umm.. God has blessed me so. I got my first bonus check in 3 years. I found it intresting because my manager making his observations, saying that something happened to me. Like I just turned around like 6 months ago and been moving up hill. I started my search for God 6 months ago. I clearify reason of poor communications due to ADD and had a nice chat.

Where this was a true blessing, I was preparing to be very budgetted for next three months. I have to pay 2 1/2 years of back car taxes, new muffler for my jeep, get jeep to pass emissions, and pay for renewal of my regestration. Tell you the truth... it's still having hard time letting this all sink in my head. God definately getting his 10% thou.

Blew some of the check and got new classical guitar. My first one crapping out on me, and I really want to learn. So got it and more than enough money left to get rest of my responcibilities done.

Other note I been praying for my friend Gardener, she's going thru some rough times right now. From bad reaction to prep drug to seeing how big problem is in her large intestant. I can't worry myself over it, but pray. Only God can help her thru this now.

How have your goals working TLB? BTW I love your signature, it is so true. Only limitations in life are ones we place on ourselves.

lmarie23 · Apr 19, 2007

Soulwings said:
So I have a tutoring hour this morning - I tutor Spanish 1101, 1102, 2201, and 2202... and I think that this girl who is coming is going to want to work on oral stuff. And I suck at that, because I've only had up through 2202 - never had a conversation class. So I'm fine on the grammar stuff - as far as explaining goes. But I don't remember everything I learnt, although if you show me some examples in a book, I can explain it. But I can't speak fluently. So......... I'm a little scared. Because I hate telling people that I don't speak Spanish very well, because that makes me look bad as a tutor. I'm supposed to be able to do things better than the students.....

I tutored the SAT for Kaplan over the summer, so I'm tutoring this really hard standardized test that has questions in it that I don't even know, and trying to act like I know what I'm talking about... sure I did well on the SAT when I took it, but that was like 7 years ago, like I remember that stuff now?! But at least they gave me this tutoring book and a lesson plan to go through, that helped a lot. But I feel your pain with the whole tutoring thing.

Lynne

lmarie23 · Apr 19, 2007

I've been struggling lately, but I've had some really great times too. I went to a production of Handel's Messiah over the weekend. It was exquisitely done, just beautiful. Maybe a bit long - 3 1/2 hours! but otherwise great. Then my friend invited me up to her apartment for tea and we talked for 5 hours....

Last night I played the game Apples to Apples with a few friends - I love that game!! And I went to see a play about Picasso and Einstein. It was written by Steve Martin, it was hilarious. Tonight I'm going out to dinner with a friend, then going to see a Christian band in concert, then going to a worship service. I have events to look forward to this weekend. I just need to focus on these good things and not let my depression take over.

Soulwings · Apr 19, 2007

lmarie, it does sound like you have a lovely evening ahead! and also that you had a wonderful night last night. I'm glad to hear that. I bet that "Messiah" was good... I know bits of it, like the Hallelujah Chorus, but the whole thing had to be magnificent. I love Handel. He's a genius.

The tutoring went okay; we actually didn't do any oral stuff, just reasoning out preterite vs. imperfect. I did okay with that, and on the ones that I didn't know, I told her to ask her prof. Which is really the best thing I can do, since I don't want to muddle my way through it and get her more confused. Preterite vs. imperfect tenses is the hardest thing in Spanish, I think, except learning the differences between the two verbs "to know." Anyway.... so I'm glad that's over. Hehe.

And then my psych quiz got postponed, so I didn't have to worry about that, and my other class went very well. Both of which made me happy.

TLB, I do love Eeyore... but Piglet cracks me up every time. He's amazingly adorable. Especially in the story about the hephalumps. That always used to crack me up when I was little.

Has anyone read the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books? They also cracked me up when I was little... still would, probably. I should reread them.

/me snuggles up in a squishy armchair with a chai smoothie.

lmarie23 · Apr 19, 2007

I loved the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books. So cute and funny.

I'm glad your tutoring session went well...

jesusfreak220 · Apr 19, 2007

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle! LOVED those books! We're doing a project in German on children's books. It's amusing. And it's nice out today! I'm not cold anymore!! Woohoo! lol I'm happy right now, can ya tell?

Mask · Apr 20, 2007

Hi all! Glad to hear everyone seems to be doing good .

I am VERY HAPPY to say that I have not had a major headache for two days now (just a little pressure) !!!! What a relief. Life seems so much better when you aren't in pain...the brain seems clearer too.

Hi Imarie23...nice to meet you! It sure sounds like you are quitet the social butterfly . Sounds like fun!

April...what are you studying to become??

Do you guys think that fear of committment go along with depression or is it just low self-esteem? I want to join a ladies group/volunteering/outreach thingy but as soon a I start thinking about it and thinking about what might be expected of me, and having to deal with people I don't know...I start to feel a sense of panic!! This kind of things always seems to happen to me. I want to do things and join groups, etc. but I'm get scared I will not like it, or won't be able to do what others find easy, or feel to pressured and then I feel stuck! If I joined I would really find it hard to quit. I would think I would be judged as failing or being lazy or selfish. The fear of the unknown is terrible for me...I can a feel panic attack coming on! I hate that!! Man I hate when feeling control me! Sometimes went I agree to do something, either suddenly or over a short period of time I started feeling trapped...like those people over me (or stronger people in the group, or people I look up to, authority figures) are controlling me. AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Anyway...gotta go finish cooking my supper! Be back later

Soulwings · Apr 20, 2007

Mask. I think that sounds like more of a social anxiety type of thing. My family has that too - although depression runs in my family as well, the non-depressed people also have the fear of having to deal with unfamiliar people, unfamiliar places, and unfamiliar expectations. I'm getting it under control now, but it used to be really bad... but then again, I'm on two anti-anxiety meds, and one of them is going to be increased (one that is specifically addressing social anxiety). So... maybe ask your psych about that, if you've got one?

I'm studying to become a counselor. I really want to work on a college campus, with students who struggle with eating disorders/self injury/depression, but I also want to do outreach programs and teach people (mostly high school students) about how EDs/SI/depression are real illnesses/symptoms that anyone can get, that those who get them are not crazy, that they should be taken seriously, and also teach them about the causes and effects etc. But I also would love to go to seminary and be affiliated with a church.... except I'm so picky in my seminary searches, that I don't know where I would end up going. The two best ones are on the opposite side of the country from me, and I know one is out since it's in SoCal, and the price of living there is outrageous. The other might be doable, though. We'll see. I'm kind of planning on taking a few years' break between college and grad school/seminary, though, since I get so stressed out about grades.

How is everyone's day going??

Mask · Apr 20, 2007

Don't have a phych or anything. Do you think that social anxiety is just another name for what the Bible calls...fear of man? Maybe it's more of a pride issue (for me) than anything? Fear of failure, making yourself look bad or stupid! Dunno??

A councelor is cool but very challenging! I helped a Christian couple during some of their councelling sessions and I enjoyed it...well most of it. I usually have a good sense about people (I can read them so to speak). Can't really explain it. A gift, maybe. Sometimes God would give me a picture of something that would help them or minister healing to a certain area. The only reasons I haven't continued doing it much is that I seem to "feel" what people are feeling (sort of) or I get a lot of negative yuck from them (very hard to explain) and end up feeling like crap by the time the session was done. Haven't learned how not to take the heaviness of their stuff on yet. Also, God promoted me to worship leader and that is a ministry in itself. Sometimes I can kinda combine the two together and lead worship at conferences for inner healing.....that I really love!! Singing songs about the Father's love to hurting people is awesome! God uses me at those times to minister love, peace and healing to His children. Ahhhh....just thinking about it, warms my heart .

David_The_Disciple · Apr 20, 2007

heya everyone

Mask · Apr 20, 2007

Hi David_The_Disciple...nice to meet you! How are you today?

David_The_Disciple · Apr 20, 2007

i am okish hanging in there you?

Mask · Apr 20, 2007

I'm pretty good today! Can't really complain.

David_The_Disciple · Apr 20, 2007

cool got any plans for this weekend?

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