Come Into The Deep End... with ImHisServant (2)

rosiecotton · Nov 11, 2006

I don't have time to respond right now, but wanted a post so I'd be subscribed to this thread. Hopefully I can answer later or sometime tomorrow! Everyone have a great weekend!!!

LivingLifeHisWay · Nov 11, 2006

Sennaria said:
Ack, I just read my post and realized how scattered it sounded. So I shall try to sum it up.
When I was in and out of the hospital, my mom and dad finally quit even coming to see me, took the phone out and truly had no clue what was going on with me, even though I was under their care. I would go through withdrawals when I was released I'd had so much pain medication. A girl I met at my apartment complex was the one who helped me through my worst withdrawal episode, I lived on her couch for a week cause I couldn't care for myself. When I ended up back at my parent's house, I was so lost. I'd lost everything I had gained. My independence, apartment, job (I got fired while I was in the recovery room from surgery due to all my hospital stays), and was screwed up in the head from medication.

It hurt, truly hurt that I could lay in my bed crying out for my mother and have her not respond in any way. And when I needed a simple thing like going to see my Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Jim so I could try to get some direction in my life, and to be denied that, was like the ultimate in betrayal. All I wanted was to get my life back on the road, maybe go back to school. I knew my kids dad at that time, though nothing serious. Oh, geeze I'd forgotten this also. A guy I'd dated my first serious boyfriend in high school had just dumped me also, I'd found out that he'd been seeing other girls, he was older than me and was just flat out mean in his break up of me while I was in the hospital. I had a friend, John, who I think actually cared for me more than I truly realized he did, that for so many years later, I wished I had turned to, rather than running off with my ex's brother and girlfriend *we, the ex and I were not together when I "ran away"*. I was so angry that my parents, and mainly my mom, would not acknowledge that I needed any help, that I felt I had no option but to just leave. I'm out of high school, almost 19 years old, and had no idea what to do. So, I made the bad choice of possibilities, now that I look back on it and went with this couple to Illinois, where later, about 6 months later, I ended up getting together with my ex in Oklahoma. During the time in Illinois, I had contacted John to try and borrow some money as I didn't have any, I was looking for work and not having much luck and he said he would send me a ticket to come home and that was it, of course, in my state of mind then, I said no and turned my back on him. I've regretted it ever since, and so many times, I've wished I could find him and apologize for hurting him. I know now, that at that point, that was my savings point, I'dve had a different life if I had taken his offer.
But don't be disheartened at this for God does take what the enemy means for bad and makes something good of it. I learn after being gone a year, that my dad had hit the streets looking for me, in downtown Houston etc.....and I felt really bad about that. I never wanted to run from him, it was my mom. I contacted them about 3 months after being gone and let them know I was ok, but things were never the same. My Dad got over things but my mom never did. And I ended up losing all my aunts, uncles, grandmother everyone for the rest of my life because of things my mom said, alot of which were not true.
It was just last year when I reconciled (30 years later) with my grandmother and aunt (the one I had wanted to go to) and found out that they still loved me. My mom had told me that everyone blamed me for her illnesses and problems and didn't want contact with me. She lied to me. I lost my family for my whole adult life pretty much. When I had been with my ex for about a year I got pregnant with my first child, and we were not in a good living condition in East Texas. My Dad came and got me, we didn't realize I was pregnant yet and when he took me home, my mom would not allow me to even enter the house for months. I had to go to my sisters. She always held it over my head and blamed me for her post polio syndrome and neuropathy.

Anyway, the good thing of this story is...that even though I chose the wrong path that God had out there for me, He still blessed me with three wonderful children and now 2 grandchildren. That is all that I came out of that marriage with of 17 years, but it is enough. There is not one material thing from that marriage, alot of emotional damage, and I found my Lord and Savior during my marriage. So that is two things.
So God can work all things for His good.
I still have a hard time with my mom, but I'm working on it and God is leading me.
Men can reject us....and hurt us.....but we have one in heaven who sacrificed for us....His only son and will love us til the day we join Him.

Thank you Jesus.

Good night Ladies.

Sennaria

Men can reject us....and hurt us.....but we have one in heaven who sacrificed for us....His only son and will love us til the day we join Him.

Sennaria: what you wrote above really touched me. It's so true!

Welcome cristianna! So glad you could join us!

Rejection is something I am also dealing with right now. My husband and I both come from Catholic families and my in-laws are not dealing well with our leaving the Catholic church. They haven't spoken to us for 3 months, didn't come to my baby's 1st bday and I don't think this will be resolved for the holidays. It hurts but we need to stand strong on the Word of God. I know that the foundation on which I stand is the TRUTH.

Take Care,
Christina

ImHisServant · Nov 11, 2006

In regards to this rejection discussion your responses have just really touched my heart. It breaks it to hear of the things gone or going through I will over this area.

I don't suffer too much over rejection... except that my oldest daughter still rejects my husband - which affects me as well. Yet we've done all we can do, so she is the one who will have to come to terms with it and grow/mature in order to move forward. All we can do is pray and wait.

I'm not feeling very well today and not sure if I'll be on much or not... but I wanted to post here and let you know that I care.

Sennaria · Nov 11, 2006

Heavenly Father,
We've all, at some point and time in our lives, I imagine suffered some type of rejection. Some more than others. Help us to maintain our focus on You. The One who will never reject us, even when during times of rebellion we have perhaps rejected You. Your love, Your faithfulness, we are so unworthy and we thank You, that You are so merciful to stay with us. Help us Lord, to truly know what You are as our Father, as the Lover of our souls and as the Spirit within us. Three distinct persons, and one Mighty and Glorious God. I am coming to know You more as my Father, help me to understand what it means for You to so love me also.....like the Song of Solomon. Help us to remember we are the Daughters of Jerusalem and what that means. Lord, touch those of us who are not feeling well and always help us to keep our eyes on You.

In the name of Jesus,
Amen!

Savedsis · Nov 11, 2006

We have all suffered some type of rejection....Rejection is very hurtful...I pray God heals the hurt and feels the void...
I have been a way on a trip...I will post more later after I have rested...God bless...

day2day · Nov 11, 2006

ImHisServant said:
In regards to this rejection discussion your responses have just really touched my heart. It breaks it to hear of the things gone or going through I will over this area.

I don't suffer too much over rejection... except that my oldest daughter still rejects my husband - which affects me as well. Yet we've done all we can do, so she is the one who will have to come to terms with it and grow/mature in order to move forward. All we can do is pray and wait.

I'm not feeling very well today and not sure if I'll be on much or not... but I wanted to post here and let you know that I care.

I'm praying too

Lotuspetal_uk · Nov 12, 2006

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to post a quick 'hi' to subscribe to the thread and to thank I'mHisServant for bringing this thread to my attention.

This has been something I've prayed for. About 4 years ago I was living in Europe on a military base and every Wednesday, us wives use to meet up and have discussions like this in the chapel. Now that I'm back in the UK, my member church hasn't got something like this. At the point of hearing from ImHisServant I was lamenting on how I haven't got a place to regularly hang out with other women in Christ.

So praise the L-rd, I'll be adding more to here as the days goes by.

Blessings to you guys!

~InHisHands~ · Nov 12, 2006

Welcome to the thread Lotuspetal and to any I may have missed.

rosiecotton · Nov 12, 2006

ImHisServant said:
Friday 11/10/06

Rejection

Have you felt rejected by your own family and friends?? How did you handle it and get through?? Are you going through it now?? That pain is a horrible pain to feel.

There is really only one time I've felt somewhat rejected. Last year, the husband of a girl at church got killed in a motorcycle accident. My best friend and her hubby reached out to her and gave her a lot of support after this happened. At first my friend felt uncomfortable around her, because she didn't know what to say. But then, they really hit it off. She'd come in my office and talk about going over to her house the day before and staying till like 2 or 3 in the morning. She even spend the night at her house a lot because she didn't want to be alone at night.
Well, it started bothering me, because I felt like I had lost my best friend. We hadn't had much time to get together and then all of a sudden she had all this time for this other girl. They were together almost 24/7.
At first I didn't say anything because I was trying to be supportive of her and I didn't want to come across like a jealous friend. Eventually it did come out and we talked about it.
I won't go into any great details, but we are a lot closer now than ever. She is still friends with this other girl, but certain things have happened to make them not be as close. (She knows that God had a hand in it, because this other girl had become too much the focus of her life, over everything else).
Anyway, that is really the only time I've felt rejection.

ImHisServant · Nov 13, 2006

Monday 11/13/06
Depression

When I feel I just can't face the world and want nothing more than to bury my head under the covers and hide, I know I need to go to church! I may have to push myself out the door, but I always feel better--and saner--when I break the isolation and reach out for help. I usually feel relief the minute I walk in my Sunday School class. I find a healing, comforting Power in the classrooms, I feel the presence of God. And because God speaks through other people, I often hear exactly what I need.

We all go through periods of sadness, lethargy, and grief--that's part of life. But depression can become a habit that perpetuates itself, unless I intercede by acting on my own behalf. Fellow believers at church and here at CF cannot solve every problem, and if depression lingers, I may want to consider seeking professional help. But more often than not, what I need to do is bring my body to church or a women's group. I know that no matter how I feel, when I take an action to get some help, I make myself available to God.

Today's Reminder:

When in doubt, I will go to church (many have meetings of some sort every day) and invite God to do for me what I cannot do for myself.

"There are times when I have to hurt through a situation and when this happens, the choice is not whether to hurt or not to hurt, but what to do while I am hurting." ...In All Our Affairs

Are you hurting or depressed?? What is causing it?? Are you isolating yourself over it? I invite you to not only share you feelings here... but to get yourself out and force yourself to go to a church funtion.

rosiecotton · Nov 13, 2006

ImHisServant said:
Monday 11/13/06

Depression
Are you hurting or depressed?? What is causing it?? Are you isolating yourself over it? I invite you to not only share you feelings here... but to get yourself out and force yourself to go to a church funtion.

Thankfully I have never really dealt with depression.
I have gotten down about some things, especially lately, but I don't usually stay down. We've just had some things going on in our church, with lots of families leaving and I've had some stresses in other areas of my life. I also work at our church, so I think that makes the church issues affect me even more.
I try not to isolate myself, but I don't always share my feelings. I tend to internalize a lot.
I do go to church every week and other church functions. But sometimes when it's the church that is getting you down, that doesn't necessarily help!
As I said, I don't stay down for very long. I know that God will get me through.

INFJ · Nov 13, 2006

Are you hurting or depressed?? What is causing it?? Are you isolating yourself over it? I invite you to not only share you feelings here... but to get yourself out and force yourself to go to a church funtion.

WOW this is a wonderful topic ONCE AGAIN!.... NO I am not feeling depressed right now. BUT SOMETIMES when I do it is over the little thing... the one thing that GOD knows it close to my heart.
Other times I will feel like this durning PMS.
NOW lets talk bout depression/church/holidays. WELL my near and dear best friend works at a church. She told me that ON Christmas Eve that we should go to her church that she works at BEING that my family estranged me. I can be with my REAL family (my brothers and sisters) I think it is a WONDERFUL way to handle if you are feeling blue for the Holidays or just anyday.. GO TO GODS HOUSE!

GREAT advice SISTER!

God be with you all!

Lotuspetal_uk · Nov 13, 2006

Hi,

At the moment I'm again fighting a battle of stress related anxiety/depression. I "snapped" a week ago today when preparing for an inspection at work. Juggling a 40+hr week and a 4 year old child on my own is hard work. I knew I wasn't going to succeed with this inspection. The sin of pride (i.e. people realising that I'm not coping with the job) got me so worked up that I was sobbing at 2.30am thinking that I cannot face work. I haven't eaten nor slept properly for over a week now. Last Thursday, for the very first time in my life, I was prescribed anti-depressants. Even as I've typed this I'm welling up as I beat myself up over the fact that sometimes I consider it a lack of faith on my part to have gotten to this point in my life and have to rely on pills. Earlier this year I was signed off and it actually felt like a spiritual battle. Ephesians chapter 6 kept coming to me in terms of putting on the armour of G-d. It was adhering to this that I believe pulled me back from the "pit of despair". Another major factor was being able to go to church.

My work has meant that since this semester started I've only been to church I think twice. When I'm signed off with stress I actually have the time to fellowship with both my brothers and sisters in Christ here as well as my member church. But as soon as my semester starts, the work load sky rockets as do my stress levels and I've slid back to this mental state of sadness.

But in all this darkness there is a glimmer of light which is in our Saviour. He pulled me through my last stint of this earlier this year, He healed me from back pain which is linked to my levels of stress and right now He is carrying me, even though satan is currently tormenting my soul.

One of my biggest role models in terms of depression is the prophet Elijah. In 1 Kings 19 v 3-4, we see his reaction to a threat being placed on his life in spite of the fact that he has the L-rd on his side as seen in Chapter 18. And in verse 13 we see his reaction when he heard the L-rd still small voice on the mountainside. I'm very guilty of beating myself up over the accuser saying I lack faith when I'm at my lowest and yet here is one of the greatest prophets exhibiting similar stress behaviours patterns.

In Elijah and our case we belong to a Father who tends to us and allows us to rest. He nurtures our spiritual needs and when things get too overwhelming will assign others to take up the slack for us.

To conclude, when we battle these storms it's always good to draw closer to G-d, to cry to Him, to sob in our quiet times and to just plain talk and be honest with Him like Elijah did.

I can personally testify that by doing so He has never left nor forsaken me.

Be blessed.

~InHisHands~ · Nov 13, 2006

ImHisServant said:
Monday 11/13/06

Depression
"There are times when I have to hurt through a situation and when this happens, the choice is not whether to hurt or not to hurt, but what to do while I am hurting." ...In All Our Affairs

Are you hurting or depressed?? What is causing it?? Are you isolating yourself over it? I invite you to not only share you feelings here... but to get yourself out and force yourself to go to a church funtion.

I like the quote. It is true that sometimes the Lord asks us to hurt through certain things. Sometimes those things are what helps us to grow. Whether a person goes to church or not...the key is to turn to Christ for comfort. He promises in the bible to be with us always and to be a comfort to us.
I am currently suffering from depression. It is something I go through every year at this time. The anniversary of the loss of a loved one is the cause. I can't take anti-depressants and even if I could...it would not take the hurt of this away. I already live a fairly isolated life. But, I admit I isolate myself a little more during this time of the year. It is because I really don't want people to see the pain I'm in. I don't have enough control over my emotions to go out and be sociable. Recently the Pastor of my church has left and I'm not even sure if it is still open. I don't generally go anymore because my work schedule doesn't allow time to. But, I do utilize online sermons, devotionals and I do a lot of bible study. During this time of year I have learned to increase these study times to help me get through it.

I would like to add that if you're going through a depression that does not seem to have an ending point, it is important to seek professional help. Don't wait until you start having suicidal thoughts.

cristianna · Nov 13, 2006

I hope everyone had a terrific weekend!

ImHisServant said:
"There are times when I have to hurt through a situation and when this happens, the choice is not whether to hurt or not to hurt, but what to do while I am hurting." ...In All Our Affairs

Are you hurting or depressed?? What is causing it?? Are you isolating yourself over it? I invite you to not only share you feelings here... but to get yourself out and force yourself to go to a church funtion.

Depression is defined as: a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. Yet I feel its rooted/should be defined as: anger turned inward.

Currently I am not struggling with this cancer. But I have, and I have witnessed, past and present, many who are. It has to be the most dreadful and pain afflicting state of emotion a person can go through.

Any time I have felt depressed I have noticed it was because I was mad at myself which is why I feel its anger turned inward. During my worst time I was not in a Christ-filled environment; therefore, I didnt have the luxury, resources or knowledge to envelope myself into the church and His Word.

When the reality of how my family is hit me I was hurting. At that time I decided if my family couldnt be a family to me I would embrace the church as my family. What a difference that really made. I was acceptedwholly accepted the good and the bad. I had support, advice from those older and wiser, love, friendshipeverything a person could ask for. Of course there was drama and conflict at times, but even that, when based on Christian values, was far more civil than anything I had ever experienced.

I agree with everyones bible selections, but I really like Job for when the blues try to come along. I believe his situation can be very much the same in todays world. He was a man of honor, yet was blindsided out of nowhere. He did what we all do: listened to everyones advice, screamed, cried, unleashed anger, protested, etc. He was honest, passionate and refused to play victim. Yet through his suffering he created a more defined and intimate relationship with God.

~InHisHands~ · Nov 13, 2006

We do create a more defined and intimate relationship with Christ through our trials because we are forced to draw close to him. That's exactly what he wants us to do.

Sennaria · Nov 13, 2006

Thankfully, I have not had any truly serious problems with depression. I've had periods during high stress, where it was a problem, but they were short-lived. I can recall only one major event that went on for a long period of time and that was when He started working on me about my wishy-washyness during times of trouble.
I then began to realize that the reason I was feeling bad, down, depressed, frustrated was not the situation itself, but my reactions to it. My being wishy washy. I was frustrated with myself, my lack of faith. And so He showed me to dig even deeper in His Word during times of those, and to reach out and help even more people during those times and mainly to rely on Him and "Know that He is God".

Sennaria

LivingLifeHisWay · Nov 13, 2006

Hi Ladies,

Depression is something I haven't really experienced except for the baby blues after my second son and days here and there when I'm down. Nothing prolonged. I do agree with the suggestions of seeking help and support from your church family ~ I think that's solid advice and the smart thing to do. Isolating ones self while depressed would make things much worse.

God Bless!

~InHisHands~ · Nov 13, 2006

LivingLifeHisWay said:
Hi Ladies,

Depression is something I haven't really experienced except for the baby blues after my second son and days here and there when I'm down. Nothing prolonged. I do agree with the suggestions of seeking help and support from your church family ~ I think that's solid advice and the smart thing to do. Isolating ones self while depressed would make things much worse.

God Bless!

Actually, given the mood swings I'm prone to while depressed, it is best for everyone if I just hang out by myself until it passes.

~InHisHands~ · Nov 13, 2006

Just a praise in case anyone is interested...I'm trying to quit smoking. I've been 12 1/2 hrs. now without a cigarette. ~Rubs my patch and thanks God~

Come Into The Deep End... with ImHisServant (2)

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