College students finding churches.

[ifshecouldsee]

Do any of the rest of you have this problem?

I am now in my fifth year of college and I have yet to find a church that will open its arms. My first and second year I went to the same church for the entire year; I liked the pastor, the worship, the sermons - basically everything. The church was very large (2 services of 1000 people). I filled out a little survey for visitors my first time and received a standard package from the church. I met the pastor, and shook his hand many times after church. Near the end of my second year as I was leaving the pastor asked me, as I shook his hand "Oh, are you visiting?" Now, I understand that the headpastor of a 2000 person church can't remember everyone, but no one welcomed me. In my third year I decided to check out some new churches. Some welcomed me, but when they heard that I was a student there was no follow-up. I spent third and fourth year attending a few different churches, and sometimes just staying home. I'm now in my fifth year and I don't want this to continue. I want to find a church that will open its arms to welcome me. I feel as though because I am a student the church assumes that I will only be there for a short amount of time and has decided, therefore, that I am not someone looking for different ministries. I know that I should approach the pastor, or elders, or another leader in the church, but it's very hard! I guess I just want a church that wants me.... but maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way.

Thanks for letting me voice my frustration. I will, of course, keep going to church, and I will try to make myself a bit more known.

Let me know if you're having similar problems, or if you have a great solution!

Shalom

 

[katelyn]

I had the same problem in trying a large church when I was in college. I didn't really think it was because I was a student - people just didn't say hi to us. And the greeters were not very informative. So I only stayed at that church for like a month or two.

My suggestion would be to try to find a church that has a college ministry. If the church realizes that college students are an important group to reach, they will most likely be more welcoming to you as a student. We were able to find a couple that did welcome college students, but ultimately ended up truly feeling at home once I got engaged and we were able to join a couple's group. It was also a small church, which was helpful for allowing us to get involved. We taught a Sunday school class and my husband helped a little in the music ministry.

I know it can be frustrating, but don't give up! Pray about it, and maybe God will lead you to the right church and help you run into the right people at that church who will make you feel welcome. God bless!

 

[girlscoutdropout]

wow, i really feel for you. i lucked out, and found my home on the first attempt. my church is really huge too, but i went ahead and joined the women's bible study and have met some really good people. and they seem very open to students. i was the youngest one at this bible study. all the other women were married, pregnant, or already had children leaving home. but they urged me to be part of the discussions, and my views were very much appreciated. i have been blessed. i'll be praying for you. maybe the problem with the first church is that you needed to join a bible study or something, maybe get more involoved?

 

[JOYfulbeliever]

I totally agree with girlscout. I think the key is getting involved. So what if you are only going to be there for a short time, you can still be ministered to and minister to others. Were you involved with Sunday School or Bible studies? That was one thing that I really found that helped me when I was looking for a church home in college. Once I started getting involved, I felt so much more at home in the church. I made lasting friendships with many of the adults there that I wouldn't have met if it wasn't for that. Don't give up! Just find the place where God wants you to be - and PRAY about it! He won't lead you the wrong way!!!!!

 

[Blake]

Have you ever tried visiting a smaller church? To me, its a much more personal environment and its not as intimidating to get to know the members. Just keep visiting different churches until you find one your comfortable in.

 

[Godzman]

small churches allow you to get much more involved, I've been to the bigger ones and they are fine and dandy, but to get involved always try to go with a smaller church

 

[SqueakyGerbil]

I am much happier at my small church (and by small I mean that a good turnout is 15 people, average is about 10). When it came to Communion this month (we take it on the first sunday of the month), our Pastor pointed me out by my name and said that it would be my first communion at the church.

Maybe you can ask the pastor of this large church if he knows of any smaller churches in your town and can get you in touch with the Pastor there? (I'm saying this because in my town the churches are all basically friends and have the collective opinion that it matters that you go and not which church in town).

 

[DaveKerwin]

I feel like today's churches do not incorporate younger adults very well. I think will changed in ten years when we run the churches. This is why you see Gen X churches popping up now.

 

[RED that's ME]

I also belong to a large church. We have a youth pastor, Single's pastor and leaders within each group. You really need to talk with the pastor and let him know how you feel take another college student with you. If you can't do it in person write it down. If they don't know there is a problem they can't fix it. One of the things my pastor tries to do is see problems from every angle. When a pastor is in a set position sometimes he is too busy in his area that they don't know/understand what happens in other ministries and then ppl are discourage and wonder why problems exist and why staff leaders don't fix it. Most pastors want to know because they want everyone ministered that comes to church. Make you a list of things you would like to see change and how they can better minister to college age students.If after you talk with him and see no results look at another church who is.

 

[Shannonkish]

I have NEVER had that problem... why? Because I don't place expectations on churches. My church at school WILL NEVER be like my home church.. I have to get over that. I will NEVER find the perfect church... I have to get over that as well..

It is MY responsibility to be a part of a church.... I can't choose a church because "no one welcomed me" etc, because if that is the case, I will never find a church that I like.... or whatever.

God didn't call us to join a church to be happy or to be welcomed.. He called us to join a church to get invovled and minister.

 

[ifshecouldsee]

Thanks for all the advice everyone...sorry I didn't reply sooner, been away at a wedding and then thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving to all you Canadians, and pre-happy thanksgiving to those south of the border!

I did try a few ministries at the larger church. I went to the college and careers group. I really enjoyed it until I started having night classes on the same night. I tried to get involved in the Christmas musical and teach sunday school but was told I couldn't b/c I wasn't a member. I haven't tried any of the woman's ministries b/c I always had classes. In my third year I tried some smaller churches but nothing really meshed.

My husband and I have been going to one main church lately. We did our marriage counselling there, and it is definitely the best so far. I guess I just have to go and join some of the ministries...it's very hard, though...I'm not the kind of person to just join without knowing anyone! But that is my problem, so maybe you could pray for me to have the courage to do this.

Shannonkish, in reply, the church I want to find here will be my home church. I live 3000km from my parents home and their church (that's about 1800 miles - I think...) I am hoping to be hired on by a school in the area in January to teach, so I'll be here for....a while! I think I understand what you mean about not placing expectations on churches, but I think to an extent that is something we need to do. I believe that churches should do everything in their power to make a newcomer feel welcome - important. What if I had been a non-believer coming off the street? There needs to be a ministry to those who are not part of the church...but maybe b/c of my experience I can help a church with that when I find a home!

Thanks all!

God Bless!

 

[RED that's ME]

I believe that churches should do everything in their power to make a newcomer feel welcome - important. What if I had been a non-believer coming off the street? There needs to be a ministry to those who are not part of the church...but maybe b/c of my experience I can help a church with that when I find a home!

Thanks all!

God Bless!

I agree with you. Our church has a awesome Greeter ministry that is called FIRST TOUCH. There have been surveys done and a person decides in the first 7 minutes of going to a church whether he will ever come back again. We have increase our attendance by going the extra mile and making ppl feel welcome.

 

[ifshecouldsee]

Red,

That's really cool. That's an amazing statistic. I will try to remember it the next time I walk into a church.

 

[jenste]

It depends on the church and not so much the size. I went to a small church and people tend to say hi to you more because there's less people there and they'll remember you when you see them every week. Now I go to a large church. At first it felt really big. But I joined the group for college students and people recently graduated and I<m gtinget to know a lot of people. What I did was visit several churches before going to one regularily. Ask around for a church that has an active youth group. But most of all, you should pray for help in finding the right church. God will listen to your prayer.