I would like to share my experience with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and would love to hear any others' experiences with it.
I started going to CBT about 7 months ago, prior to taking any medication. It was odd sitting in front of another person and sharing all the junk in your head, essentially. I just kept trying to remind myself that she has probably heard worse. Anyways, the therapy really helped me to change the way that I look at situations, and at people. It helped me to rewind, when an irrational or negative thought pops into my head. More so, it helped me to recognize that certain thoughts were irrational, which I did not see before.
However, even though the therapy helped in this way I found myself spinning wheels a lot. Because I could not stop my thoughts from existing. They were just there. Because I exist, the thoughts exist. I then found myself spending a lot of energy trying to control the thoughts in my head. Move them around in some way, truly not believe them, or try to get rid of them....until I realized that I cannot get rid of myself.
Trying to not ruminate on the thoughts was also hard. When I would step outside myself, and try to objectively look at the thought I would beat myself up sometimes because the thought was there to begin with. For instance...driving along the road and I realize 10 min. later that for no good reason I have spend the past ten minutes thinking about running my car into a pole, and then imagining my funeral, and being dead. I did not understand why this thought was there to begin with. I could not seem to stop it from having been there. I then felt guilty for having thought it, and would almost be mad at myself for having that thought because I do not feel that is something I would ever do. I would also truly believe that many people are out to get me- coworkers, and even loved ones. I could not stop myself from believing these thoughts were reality. The panic attacks that came with much of this was hard to deal with. The list goes on..
Anyways, I want to say that the CBT has helped me to analyze my thoughts better, and try to look at different scenarios, and even try to not believe all my thoughts. However, I must say that since I've started taking medication, miraculously, abt. 90% of my irrational, morbid, or negative thoughts have simply disappeared altogether. I also find I have a much more easy time objectively looking at a thought that pops in my head, and also am not having mood changes either prior to it or following it, like before. I find that I can use the CBT much more effectively in my life now. Whereas before, I found it almost impossible. I am actually thinking of stopping the CBT soon, since I feel so much better. I think that I can take what I have learned so far from it, and actually be able to apply it now.
I started going to CBT about 7 months ago, prior to taking any medication. It was odd sitting in front of another person and sharing all the junk in your head, essentially. I just kept trying to remind myself that she has probably heard worse. Anyways, the therapy really helped me to change the way that I look at situations, and at people. It helped me to rewind, when an irrational or negative thought pops into my head. More so, it helped me to recognize that certain thoughts were irrational, which I did not see before.
However, even though the therapy helped in this way I found myself spinning wheels a lot. Because I could not stop my thoughts from existing. They were just there. Because I exist, the thoughts exist. I then found myself spending a lot of energy trying to control the thoughts in my head. Move them around in some way, truly not believe them, or try to get rid of them....until I realized that I cannot get rid of myself.
Trying to not ruminate on the thoughts was also hard. When I would step outside myself, and try to objectively look at the thought I would beat myself up sometimes because the thought was there to begin with. For instance...driving along the road and I realize 10 min. later that for no good reason I have spend the past ten minutes thinking about running my car into a pole, and then imagining my funeral, and being dead. I did not understand why this thought was there to begin with. I could not seem to stop it from having been there. I then felt guilty for having thought it, and would almost be mad at myself for having that thought because I do not feel that is something I would ever do. I would also truly believe that many people are out to get me- coworkers, and even loved ones. I could not stop myself from believing these thoughts were reality. The panic attacks that came with much of this was hard to deal with. The list goes on..
Anyways, I want to say that the CBT has helped me to analyze my thoughts better, and try to look at different scenarios, and even try to not believe all my thoughts. However, I must say that since I've started taking medication, miraculously, abt. 90% of my irrational, morbid, or negative thoughts have simply disappeared altogether. I also find I have a much more easy time objectively looking at a thought that pops in my head, and also am not having mood changes either prior to it or following it, like before. I find that I can use the CBT much more effectively in my life now. Whereas before, I found it almost impossible. I am actually thinking of stopping the CBT soon, since I feel so much better. I think that I can take what I have learned so far from it, and actually be able to apply it now.
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