I grew up in what looked like a normal suburban middle class home. It was not... My Mom invited young people to skip school and stay at our house to get drunk or high and paid for their drugs and alcohol. My mother introduced me to witch craft, spell casting, Ouija boards, and tarot cards and pornography, alcohol, and hard drugs on the weekdays. When my Dad would come home from business trips on the weekends we would hide all of the evidence from him and go to church and sit on the front row. Mom constantly whispered into our ears how terrible Dad was. She made us believe that he hated us and that he wanted to hurt us. When he came home he would get frustrated and yell. It just fed our fear.
When I was 13 it ended. My Dad was tipped off by a neighbor and put a stop to it. At first Mom was ultimately diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. For about 5 of the most important years of my youth, I had gone almost totally without parental supervision or guidance. My Dad proceeded to attempt to make up for lost time with a loving but very heavy hand. Mom was shipped off to treatment newly divorced and never served in any parenting capacity again.
As you might imagine, these events put a lot of real estate between me and God. Many really good people tried to help. Thank God for the people who tried to help me. They planted the seeds, but I my conscience was seared and I would not listen.
I made a lot of bad choices and a couple of fairly good ones. I was married to a Godly woman. But I came to the end of myself after watching a man die and blaming myself for his death. By June of 2005 I was a full blown alcoholic with a 3 month old daughter and a wife threatening to leave.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at an AA meeting. I gave him sovereignty over my addiction and he began the healing process in me and in my family. But I did not fully submit my life and my will to Him. I held on to a lot of things and did not turn them over to God. One sin after another, God allowed me to experience the consequences of failing to submit to Him. In 2009 I took humbled myself before God by being publicly baptized in the midst of reaping terrible personal consequences for my stubbornness. Still, God was faithful and walked along side me patiently.
in 2013, I was discovered in a horrible addiction and had to confess it completely to my wife and seek treatment. As He always has, God helped me to gain some victory over this last lifelong addiction and put an experience in my path to help restore my conscience and heal my soul. I am still dealing with the consequences of that addiction on my marriage, but God showed mercy on me and has held my marriage and my family together.
Today I am clean and sober and full of God's Grace and mercy and love. Everyday, I try to humble myself before the Lord and count on Him to carry me through. I am learning to be less fearful and to place my Trust in Jesus where it belongs.
From where I stand now, I am simply overcome at the sight of all God has done to reach me. I am overwhelmed by his patience and long suffering and love for me. I cannot contain my wonder at how God has blessed this poor fool with such an embarrassment of riches. To God be the Glory.
When I was 13 it ended. My Dad was tipped off by a neighbor and put a stop to it. At first Mom was ultimately diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. For about 5 of the most important years of my youth, I had gone almost totally without parental supervision or guidance. My Dad proceeded to attempt to make up for lost time with a loving but very heavy hand. Mom was shipped off to treatment newly divorced and never served in any parenting capacity again.
As you might imagine, these events put a lot of real estate between me and God. Many really good people tried to help. Thank God for the people who tried to help me. They planted the seeds, but I my conscience was seared and I would not listen.
I made a lot of bad choices and a couple of fairly good ones. I was married to a Godly woman. But I came to the end of myself after watching a man die and blaming myself for his death. By June of 2005 I was a full blown alcoholic with a 3 month old daughter and a wife threatening to leave.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at an AA meeting. I gave him sovereignty over my addiction and he began the healing process in me and in my family. But I did not fully submit my life and my will to Him. I held on to a lot of things and did not turn them over to God. One sin after another, God allowed me to experience the consequences of failing to submit to Him. In 2009 I took humbled myself before God by being publicly baptized in the midst of reaping terrible personal consequences for my stubbornness. Still, God was faithful and walked along side me patiently.
in 2013, I was discovered in a horrible addiction and had to confess it completely to my wife and seek treatment. As He always has, God helped me to gain some victory over this last lifelong addiction and put an experience in my path to help restore my conscience and heal my soul. I am still dealing with the consequences of that addiction on my marriage, but God showed mercy on me and has held my marriage and my family together.
Today I am clean and sober and full of God's Grace and mercy and love. Everyday, I try to humble myself before the Lord and count on Him to carry me through. I am learning to be less fearful and to place my Trust in Jesus where it belongs.
From where I stand now, I am simply overcome at the sight of all God has done to reach me. I am overwhelmed by his patience and long suffering and love for me. I cannot contain my wonder at how God has blessed this poor fool with such an embarrassment of riches. To God be the Glory.
