Clidoh's Cattle Raid.

[CelticRose]

Clidoh’s Cattle Raid.​

High in the thin blue sky a lark was singing. Clidoh would always remember the lark. Somewhere in the tangled grasses below his mate sat on her nest of speckled cream eggs & waited. At least Clidoh didn’t have to wait. She hummed a little to herself as she laid out all the things she would need, linens, & salves, bone needles & thread, salves & potions & a knife so finely honed it could slice a hank of silk in one smooth motion & began to methodically pack her medical bag. She would never hear the end of it from Angus if she forgot something. She would not have been healer to his war band for anything except for Cam. Clidoh smiled a little to herself thinking that soon, by tomorrow at the very latest, Cam would have enough cattle to satisfy even her father’s outrageous bride price. In her own mind Clidoh had already picked out the place where they would build their own tuigen down by the water meadows where all the best herbs grew. Despite the death rings knotted in his hair her Cam was no warrior. He would as happily farm as raid & with more profit. They would have many years together & children who lived through the winter, children with their father’s russet hair & mild brown eyes. She just hoped that none of them was as brilliantly red as Cam’s brother, Angus, whose temper was as fiery as his hair.

It was too early for sunlight but in the grey half light the camp prepared itself. Even the give~a~way jingle of harness was already muffled by strips of cloth. So early in the season there should be no casualties but Clidoh was still nervous. It was one thing to study in the Droi school under an Ollamh so old he creaked, quite another to be strapping her medical pack to a stout dun pony as the only healer to one of the fiercest war bands in the Isles.

She was so lost in thought she never heard Cam step silently across the grass. He suddenly grabbed her round the waist & spun her round laughing into her outraged face. He kissed the tip of her nose & gave her his best silly grin.

‘There is silly.’ Clidoh said, pushing him away. ‘What will Angus be saying if I am forgetting his important bandages?’

‘That love is blind.’ Cam grinned setting her down. ‘My brother is only jealous for no~one will ever love him as you love me.’ He kissed her again, properly this time, & Clidoh’s breath caught in her throat. The scent of him, of leather & warm wool, hounds & horses, filled her nostrils. Soon, soon. He released her, tapped her nose with one blunt teasing finger & made a step to hoist her up into the saddle. Clidoh settled herself, the medical bag forming a reassuring hump at her back, as Cam grabbed the reigns & led the pony over the grass to where the war band was gathering, silently now, each man preparing himself in case today was the day his soul was demanded of him.

Angus glanced up sharply as the dun pony moved to the back of the gathering. The black of his eyes flowed to dark glittering points as he shouldered his way over to her & began tugging on all her straps to make sure everything was secure. Clidoh tried to ignore him but Angus was a difficult man to ignore. He wasn’t as pretty as her Cam but he was neatly made & the blaze of his hair marked him out from other men. As always she found it hard to meet his eyes.

‘You are to do exactly as I say.’ Angus’ voice was brusque. He hated having untried novices along. Clidoh nodded, as if she’d ever do anything else, & counted the war band. There were twelve of them, few but hand picked & everyone there the very best there was. Every blade would be honed fine & polished bright. Every pony would have been checked twice over for galls or stones. Every girth would be cinched as tight as it could be. Angus was unforgiving of preventable mistakes & the men who rode with him knew it. Cam smiled at her reassuringly but Clidoh didn’t dare look at him. Angus was still speaking. ‘You are not to engage. That’s what that fancy green tunic is for. It marks you as a healer.’ Clidoh nodded though she knew all this. ‘Wait. If things go badly for us I will come for you. If the Canti get you first do not panic. Nothing will happen to you.’ Clidoh knew as well as he did that that wasn’t always true. Tribes did violate the healer’s immunity. It was rare but it did happen. It made a mockery of the guild price to buy a healer back & tribes had annihilated each other for less. ‘Relax.’ Angus smiled suddenly & Clidoh flushed. The smile changed his face completely & she felt the tug of his charm. She was aware too that there was protectiveness towards her from all the war band. Their lives might depend on her. She would not end up as a Canti hostage if they could help it.

As they rode out Clidoh wasn’t surprised to find she was flanked by two burly warriors. Cam was not one of them. As Angus’ shield man he rode with Angus but she could see him ahead of her, his unsheathed sword laying easily across his lap, the reins held in his free hand & his eyes roving to & fro though the scout had assured them the Canti kept a poor guard so deep in their own territory. He would be whistling, silently under his breath, not to annoy Angus, & Clidoh smiled to herself. He was such a husbandy sort of a man.

As they rode the morning mist began rising till shreds swirled about the ponies’ flanks & grey cloud gathered in the sky, as the Dreamers had promised them. The Dreamers would hold the cloud & the mist as long as they could but there were never any guarantees so far from home. There were things the Dreamers couldn’t know, wrapped in their cow hide, drugged & unseeing before a cold hearth. They couldn’t know, because they hadn’t thought to ask, that the Ard~Ri’s third wife had given birth to his first son during the night & despite the dankness of the day the entire tribe was milling about the great hall preparing to celebrate. Instead of riding into a sleeping keep Angus’ war band rode into one that was wide awake & spoiling for a fight.

Clidoh was left on a little rise fringed with young saplings where fine snow still dusted the dimpled hollows under the trees. The dun pony stood stolid & unmoving as he had been trained. Clidoh rubbed one cold hand along his long neck grateful for his solid, reassuring warmth. Dark shapes swirled in & out of the mist & the clang of sword against sword came to her hollowly. She strained her eyes to see but could only hear the frantic baying of hounds tearing at the end of their chains, the panicked hoof beats of nervous cattle & the loud swearing of determined men. She heard the crash as the rails came down on the cattle pen & then there were long curved horns cutting eerily through the mist & a loud bellowing as the cattle plunged headlong for the gap between the trees. Angus’ war band whooped to follow after them & herd them homewards & in a sudden moment of absolute silence Clidoh heard a loud unfamiliar whoosh. The sky lit up. A wall of flame engulfed the cattle pen’s perimeter. Cattle still plunged through the wall of flames crazy with fear. Horses screamed & pawed the air. The air brought the scent of singed hide & blood. Clidoh’s stomach churned uneasily as billows of rancid smoke blossomed through the mist turning the day black & greasy & blocking out the light.

Clidoh waited patiently as horses & cattle plunged past her with wild eyes & tossing heads. Oily smoke roiled through the trees & plumed in putrid puffs with the smell of burning, skin & hide, wool & feathers meshing in a rancid reek till Clidoh lost all sense of time.

Eventually the world around her grew still. The occasional lowing of a cow came hollowly through the mist but the trampling feet and angry voices were gone. Suddenly a hand reach gently for her bridle & Angus’ crisp voice said softly, ‘This way. You’re needed.’

Nothing could have prepared Clidoh. The war band had moved on with the cattle leaving this one body spread as gently as possible on a cloak in the lee of a small slate scree, Angus’ cloak Clidoh noted, trying not to gag. The hair had been burnt from the scalp leaving it red & black. The brechan & plaid had been burnt from the body. Strips of cloth had melted into the blacked flesh & flesh peeled away from the bone in blistered strips. The eyes were glued shut & the face burnt & blistered beyond all hope of recognition but the chest still rose & fell with agonizing deliberation. The smell of burnt flesh & singed cloth clung to the air.

‘End it,’ Angus said. His voice was tight with fury. Hands shaking Clidoh opened her healer’s satchel & pulled out her knife remembering how carefully she had honed it to shining brightness & boasted of its sharpness. It had never been used, as unblooded as she was herself. She wished Angus would go away but he just stood there, his eyes glittering with fury, watching her. Her voice shook too as she began the canticle that would free the soul & send it straight & true into the lands beyond death, absolving her of the blood guilt. She gripped the handle two~handed, held the blade poised just above the rib cage & a little to the left, waited for the slight hesitation between breaths & plunged the blade home. She struck true. The body quivered once then lay still. Clidoh took a shaky breath, withdrew her blade & began wiping it clean as the man’s blood pooled beneath him. He had been so close to death already it was hardly anything at all. She was still telling herself that when Angus bent forward to tug a ring free from the man’s charred hand. For a moment she despised him & then she saw his eyes, as if he walked the black pit of hell itself. Their gaze met. Clidoh sucked in her breath but Angus’ hand was already over her mouth, hard enough to bruise.

‘Don’t scream. Whatever you do, Healer, don’t scream.’ He released her. Her mouth formed the word ‘Cam’ but no sound came & pulling a red thread from his plaid Angus knotted the silver ring grimly in her hair to acknowledge that she had killed, was capable of killing again.

There are all sorts of courage. Folding Angus’ cloak around his brother’s charred body with little pats that could no longer hurt Cam but were infinitely soothing, Clidoh sought desperately for the courage that would carry her home to do that which the clan would ask of her in Cam’s name & for his sake. She couldn’t even look at Angus. How could she lie with him? He was not Cam, a statement so glaringly obvious it left her bewildered.

Angus hefted Cam’s body across his horse’s flanks & hoisted Clidoh into her saddle. For the briefest of moments their gaze collided & lept away. Almost Clidoh felt sorry for him, sure he would never have chosen her either. He was not Cam but maybe, just maybe, there was enough of Cam in him. His mouth twitched wryly.

‘I don’t mind sharing. I would not have Cam forgotten.’

As they followed the war band home & the tendrils of mist gave way to blue sky & a sunlight Cam would never see again Clidoh rode as though precariously balanced, one half of her falling into darkness & a long sorrowing, the other half clawing for light & air & a life worth living. She took long slow breaths, one after another. One day, maybe, she would be able to breathe again without it hurting.