Clean Jokes

[Spidey76]

A mean looking pair of jumper cables walk into a restaurant and the waiter says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
****

My antenna married my satellite dish this weekend. Wasn't much of a ceremony, but the reception was great.
****

Two cows in a field...
Cow #1: I was artificially inseminated.
Cow #2: I don't beleive you.
Cow #1: It's true, no bull!
****

Doctor: You have Tom Jones syndrome.
Patient: Is that common, Doc?
Doctor: It's not unusual.
****

Two hydrogen atoms meat for lunch. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive!"
****

I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat sitting on the top shelf. He refused and said the steaks were too high.

 

[ChristianTeen]

Those were good! I didn't get the last one though.

 

[mbuc]

Two rough-looking strings walk into a restaurant. The waiter tells them, "We don't serve strings like you here. Get out!" The strings go out on the sidewalk, tie themselves together, and go back into the restaurant. The same waiter sees them and asks, "Aren't you the same strings I just kicked out of here?" The strings look at him and say. . .






Get ready. . .












"No, we're a frayed knot."








Audience: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, etc."

Don't say I didn't warn you.

 

[laura_lynn]

OOOh I have one too! ( I liked yours a whole bunch, copleyoh)
What did the salad say when ... you ... opened the door?
*Close the door! I'm dressing!!* ... wait I think I told it wrong again. Okay I have a different one, too:
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
*Well you see, the lightbulb has to want to change itself...

OHHH the Corn. the corniness is just murderous.

 

[ChristianTeen]

Those ones were good also.

 

[Spidey76]

You guys are just about outta control - Merry Christmas!

 

[CeeBee]

These are good!

 

[mikefidborg]

yeah... nice ones....
when I remember some I´ll post them...
Happy 2004 to every viewer...

 

[Wally22]

Ok my turn!!

Two fish were in a tank and one of them looks at the other and says "ok you be the gunner and ill drive"

Who was the best card player in the bible? Noah because he had decks of pairs

First tennis player in the bible? Joseph, He served in pharohs court!

First mention of a car in the bible? In acts they were all in one accord! (accord is a brand of car)

Where is mention of the first motorbike? davids triumph could be heard throughout the land! (triumph is a type of motorbike)

Ok now ive saved the best for last...


Who was the first financier in the bible? Noah, Because he was floating stock, while evrybodyelse was in liquidation!!