Hi everyone! I want to introduce myself and also, hope to get some advice. I apologize in advance for the length of this post and how scattered it will be as I have little time to organize my thoughts. I'm a Christian mom with a great husband, son, and another son due soon. I was raised between Baptist/non-denominational/fundamental evangelical churches and it was wonderful in many ways, but I struggled with eternal security in my salvation and often felt that I was fooling myself even though I had prayed in earnest to be saved and I can promise you that I've simply followed Jesus for as long as I can remember. I started exploring and eventually went through 9 months of RCIA and became a Catholic at the age of 19 with quite a bit of disapproval although most were just confused more than anything. I loved the traditions, the sense of universal community, I felt happy with the teachings of purgatory and I absolutely embraced infant baptism as 100% biblical. I accepted the pope, but it wasn't something I cared much about and although I felt like praying to saints is totally fine, I never was able to get into it myself and don't like the emphasis on it to this day. My husband was raised as a non-practicing Catholic. Baptized, received 1st communion and that's where it ended. After dabbling in everything from Orthodoxy to "come as you are in pajamas, huge worship driven churches" we decided to raise our children as strong Catholics, not just participating in rites, but loving their faith and being very involved. Our son was baptized as a baby by immersion because I truly embrace the immersion view of baptism.
On to my dilemma...I don't feel at home and don't feel settled. I miss the "church family" feeling I had growing up. I love the focus those churches had on reaching people for Christ, on growing as a Christian. I've started to question infant baptism, but at the same time I feel like I owe it to my next baby to do the same as I did for my son. I've started being irritated by things as simple as making the sign of the cross. It's not that I think it's bad by any means, it's a wonderful tradition, but it doesn't help ME feel any closer to God at all and I only do it so that I don't stand out as a distraction in church, not because I really want to be doing it. I struggle with communion. I honestly could go any which way with it. I'm weak in what I know of it. I don't currently receive communion because my husband and I were married outside of the Catholic church.
I struggle with exactly what I believe about the rapture, but I certainly would claim to believe a post-tribulation second coming before anything else. I can't see Jesus coming back a second and third time... I've looked into the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod and even visited once because it seemed to have all of my beliefs, but I felt exactly the same being there as I do at my Catholic church. They even had a more modern worship team, but it was so awkward, dead almost. The preaching was ok, but the kneeling, sign of the cross, and creeds/recitation made me feel like I'd need to conform again in order to not be a trouble maker.
I'm very traditional, don't believe in women pastoring, or in abortion at all (we don't believe in birth control either) and I'm not ok with gay marriage. I have a true love of the Bible and while the Catholic church reads through the Bible constantly, at every mass, I want to focus on it almost exclusively rather than creeds, recited prayers etc.
My husband thinks I'm just nostalgic for my childhood, and maybe he's right, but I'm missing something big. I believe I'll go to heaven, but I also believe that Christians can turn away from God at any time which is offensive to many people. I believe you can somewhat know what will happen when you die, but I hate the focus on "get saved, sinners prayer, save save save" that so many Baptist churches focus on as I need to focus on a growing faith that is nurtured and not just revolving around one day in my life.
Any ideas on denominations to check out? I hope I made a little bit of sense and hope I didn't offend anyone at all. I really am just wanting to find a home and I want my children to be strong Christians no matter where that is. Thank you!
On to my dilemma...I don't feel at home and don't feel settled. I miss the "church family" feeling I had growing up. I love the focus those churches had on reaching people for Christ, on growing as a Christian. I've started to question infant baptism, but at the same time I feel like I owe it to my next baby to do the same as I did for my son. I've started being irritated by things as simple as making the sign of the cross. It's not that I think it's bad by any means, it's a wonderful tradition, but it doesn't help ME feel any closer to God at all and I only do it so that I don't stand out as a distraction in church, not because I really want to be doing it. I struggle with communion. I honestly could go any which way with it. I'm weak in what I know of it. I don't currently receive communion because my husband and I were married outside of the Catholic church.
I struggle with exactly what I believe about the rapture, but I certainly would claim to believe a post-tribulation second coming before anything else. I can't see Jesus coming back a second and third time... I've looked into the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod and even visited once because it seemed to have all of my beliefs, but I felt exactly the same being there as I do at my Catholic church. They even had a more modern worship team, but it was so awkward, dead almost. The preaching was ok, but the kneeling, sign of the cross, and creeds/recitation made me feel like I'd need to conform again in order to not be a trouble maker.
I'm very traditional, don't believe in women pastoring, or in abortion at all (we don't believe in birth control either) and I'm not ok with gay marriage. I have a true love of the Bible and while the Catholic church reads through the Bible constantly, at every mass, I want to focus on it almost exclusively rather than creeds, recited prayers etc.
My husband thinks I'm just nostalgic for my childhood, and maybe he's right, but I'm missing something big. I believe I'll go to heaven, but I also believe that Christians can turn away from God at any time which is offensive to many people. I believe you can somewhat know what will happen when you die, but I hate the focus on "get saved, sinners prayer, save save save" that so many Baptist churches focus on as I need to focus on a growing faith that is nurtured and not just revolving around one day in my life.
Any ideas on denominations to check out? I hope I made a little bit of sense and hope I didn't offend anyone at all. I really am just wanting to find a home and I want my children to be strong Christians no matter where that is. Thank you!
