Christ's death--please read

[~SHINE~]

I don't usually use rhyme, but this time... well, it just sort of came out this way. So please comment, even if you think it's no good!

Beads of sweat run down his face
Mixed with glistening drops of blood
On his back, searing scars of grace
His unwashed feet are caked with mud

Upon his head, a crown of thorns
He's scorned by the merciless crowd
Many to mock him, few to mourn
Though the heavens themselves bow down

And as he hangs there, near to death
It's his fate by choice alone
Who's face does he see, at his final breath?
None other than your own

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

THAT IS SO AWESOME! I loved it. Great Job.

-JO

 

[~SHINE~]

Thanks!

 

[Quixotic the Pedestrian]

oh, really good imagery. You definately have a gift with it. You're poetry is far more advanced than your age tells.


I wish I could encourage people more to step outside of their writing style. I try to vary my own work up as much as possible.. sometimes writing stories, sometimes rhyming, sometimes as short as this one and others several pages long. My work is supposed to be spoken, but sometimes I'll write traditional poetry as well. If you do try to write stuff that isn't as natural for you, post it anyways and let us know the challenge -- I'm personally inclined to respect poets and artists more when they continue to stretch their limits, and their boundaries -- even if some of it turns out bad

 

[delicate_flower]

I like it.