Christian Mingle

[Life2Christ]

I signed up for Christian Mingle just to look at the profiles of men. Out of 100 profiles I only found 2 that were worthy. I read them every morning when I get them in my inbox. The problem with these men are not that they are losers, the problem is NOT that they don't use periods, commas and capitalization in their writing. The problem is NOT that these men want "the world" in the perfect woman (athletic bodies, etc.). The problem IS that many of them go to church "on special occassions" or "a few times a year." *sigh* You can't go on Christian Mingle and say you go to church once in a while and try to find a good Chrstian wife. Right??

Sadly, the guys on the secular websites are much more "profile worthy."

 

[dayhiker]

I think I can understand where a lot of Christians are coming from. Its a world I had no idea about when I was married. I know there were some Christians that didn't go to church. But I had no clue how many there are.

The 1st thing I noticed once I was divorce was just how many divorced Christian men and women there are out there. I've meet a handful of Christians who have made church there whole life since their breakup and divorce. But by far the largest numbers have been the ones that don't feel loved, accepted or that they have anything to contribute to a church. It seems tho Jesus is still a big part of their life. But its inside, for its only after I mention Jesus means a lot to me that they start telling about their Christian experience. This has happened to me over and over again. An in the most unlikely of places. I've shocked some of you with comments I've made. But there are places I've witnesses for Jesus and meet other Christians at that I would have never had guess one would be. I'm not talking satanic places like gangs that lord it over other people, or places people are full of hate and plan how to hurt people. I'd say these places have a level of confusion about them, but they are mystics, they are people that want to love others, they like the dynamic of people but not meetings and organization.

It seems they know they can't fix in the box the church tells them they have to fix into be be a leader, to share their story in a Sunday School class ... its not happening, because there is someone who is going to place a guilt trip on them, even if the other 15 people show compassion. They of course don't know how to deal with that guilt trip. So they don't go very often.

Now me I can go to church often. I can go to personal home groups. I can even share what I believe there, I'm sure people shake their head at some of the things I say. But they also know I love Jesus and I can back up what I think with the Word of God. Mostly they don't agree with me and I don't put any guilt back on them. but I'm enjoying my liberty in Jesus too much to go back into the box, read church building!

OK. I rambled enough! :0

 

[Life2Christ]

I think I can understand where a lot of Christians are coming from. But by far the largest numbers have been the ones that don't feel loved, accepted or that they have anything to contribute to a church. 0

That's just an excuse. I go to church to hear the Word not to socialize. I know others feel differently. I could never date a guy who doesn't go to church. Its just not negotiable. I understand if someone doesn't go to church because they are a "shut in" or disabled but I don't think those singles on CM are like that.

 

[dayhiker]

I understand Life. I agree those guys aren't shut ins ... We can say its an excuse ... but that isn't going to make them feel comfortable in church. Until they are accepted for who they are so they can feel comfortable, then they aren't going to go. So its good the post they only go to church occasionally. You know not to invest any of your time in them just as most of them don't want to invest their time in you.

So its all good as the saying goes.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I go to church every Sunday. However, there's stuff that I don't feel at liberty to share, nor do I feel that I fit in in so many cases. Being divorced isn't for weaklings. As a man, you have to shoulder too much yourself because nobody else wants to hear it. So, you "man up" keep quiet and soldier on.

I've been wondering about some of these dating sites, wondering if it's worth the time let alone any money. This thread is answering that in a way. I'm in no big hurry to try dating again if I'm going to be rejected before even saying my name and asking you yours. Been there, done that enough times before with nothing to show for it.

"Dozens of women and thousands of men on our site---".

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Three couples in my bible study met on online dating sites. Two of the couples were looking and half of the third one was looking and the other half (the guy) was on a debate chat online and an ad popped up. He decided to do the free trial for whatever reason because he swore he would never do the online dating. First time he got on and looked at his matches he saw his now wife. Totally a God thing IMO and it was Christian Mingle if I'm not mistaken. I believe if it's meant to be it will happen. For me, IDK it will be meant to be because I wouldn't feel comfortable on those sites.

 

[Lone Wolfe]

The biggest problem with Christian Mingle is, you get some folks who drive by a church every day in their neighborhood and then call themselves a Christian. It's amazing how many people out there today throw that word around and they have no idea what it truly means to be a Christian???

I learned long ago as soon as someone makes a reference to being a Christian, my guard goes up and I start looking for the signs! You might find this hard to believe but, I've been stung by more people claiming to be Christians than I have by non-believers!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yeah, if someone has to tell you that they are a Christian, what does THAT tell you?
Likewise the biggest insult I could ever receive is if someone (that knew me) said to me "oh I didn't know you were a Christian!"
But if they call me a Jesus Freak, I'm in!

 

[Lone Wolfe]

Being a "Jesus Freak" is a GOOD thing for sure!!!

 

[dayhiker]

I generally don't pay money for dating sites. There is a lot of sites that mess with guys by sending them emails that there is a lady who wants to talk with the guy. The guys replies with a message to her and a reply comes back that I've found a guy and an not looking at the moment, or some excuse. As soon as I know the site is manipulating me with fake messages of some sort I'm out of there. But generally now I find most people on dating sites are just hanging out and not really looking, its very hard to get a date these days. I sent out maybe 5 emails a week and get a response every couple of weeks that usually doesn't go anywhere.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I have a sticker on my truck that says JF in a circle and on top it says sold out 4 Jesus. I've had it since high school, came across it looking for something and put it on my truck

 

[Lone Wolfe]

I have a sticker on my truck that says JF in a circle and on top it says sold out 4 Jesus. I've had it since high school, came across it looking for something and put it on my truck

Sorry but, what is JF?

 

[Lone Wolfe]

Try Craig's List for dating. It's 100% free and you do meet some serious & cool people there. Yes, you do have to be careful but, you have to be just as careful on those paid dating sites too!

I've gone out with a few nice ladies I've met on Craig's List but, I've backed off since the first of the year mainly because of medical issues. Who wants to date someone with medical problems anyway and that's not being mean... I'm just being realistic here.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I had a look at Craigslist. The Chicago version leaves much to be desired. Personally, I won't use it for anything except jobs and maybe finding an apartment. The personals--- not a chance. Not in the Chicago Craigslist, anyway.

 

[Lone Wolfe]

I know what you mean there. I've checked out a few CL's in some of the bigger cities and many of those ads are really scary! It's amazing what some people will put on the web for others to see, especially those who use actual photos of themselves in really bogus ads and they don't even care if family or friends see them? That alone tells me a great deal about a person's character and I would run as far away in the opposite direction as I could, lol.

I guess it's different in the smaller towns when it comes to CL ads however, I've seen some in my neck of the woods that really blew my mind as to the content of their ads??? Yeah... real scary to say the least!!!

 

[mjmcmillan]

They've got an ad showing up here on CF right now. The women in the ad look terrific--- what red-blooded male wouldn't want to be with her-- but I just don't know if it's worth the risk. I'm inclined not to, just because so far none of these dating sites appear to be worth the time.

 

[exitstageright]

Three couples in my bible study met on online dating sites. Two of the couples were looking and half of the third one was looking and the other half (the guy) was on a debate chat online and an ad popped up. He decided to do the free trial for whatever reason because he swore he would never do the online dating. First time he got on and looked at his matches he saw his now wife. Totally a God thing IMO and it was Christian Mingle if I'm not mistaken. I believe if it's meant to be it will happen. For me, IDK it will be meant to be because I wouldn't feel comfortable on those sites.

It is preplexing for me to hear a woman say that something was "meant to be". For example,I was supposed to meet a lady somewhere specific,at a specific time for a blind date. I arrived on time. She did not show up. After 15 minutes had passed,I left. I called her the next day. I asked her,"What happened?". She told me that she was 20 minutes late.We did not have cell phones then. So she could not call me to tell me that she was going to be a little late. I asked her why she was late.She did not give me a reason. She just said,"Oh,it was just not meant to be."

That,was not accepable. If she was on time,we would have seen and talked to each other,in order to find out if we were comaptble or not. She was not being responsble by not being on time. So she gives me this lame excuse that is was not meant to be. She failed to take responsibilty for her being late. It was not fate.She just was late.

Now,I know that GOD has a plan for our lives,BUT we cannot put EVERYTHING on FATE and /or GOD.

It seems to me,that generally there are three kinds of people. Those that MAKE things happen. Those that WATCH or HOPE for things to happen. The third kind is that there are those who WONDERED what happen!
I guess some people really believe in that song that was sung by Doris Day,"Que sara,sara,whatever will be,will be,the future's not ours to see,Que sara,sara!"
What I got out of watching that movie,"Back To The Future",was that we CAN have a good future,as long as we prepare properly during the present. That has happened for me, in my life. Things work out better for me when I have had time to prepare for them. Proper planning prevents poor performances.
By the way,I tried Christian Mingle. Out of 130 e-mails that I sent out,I recieved only 8 responses. That was just pitiful,just pitiful! About 90% of those who responed said that there are already in a relationship. Does CM pay attractive and attached women to pose as single women in order for men to pay and to sign up?

 

[Lone Wolfe]

I think a lot of responses on these dating sites is what prevents a lot of meetings from happening. We don't think most of the time that people can know us without actually meeting us however, what we put into print many times is a dead give-away of who we really are and there are folks out there who are very good at picking that up in what someone writes.

An example would be: there's one gentleman on here who is clearly a woman hater/basher and it shows in most of his postings when it comes to matters of the heart? I won't mention names or give hints, he knows who he is and that keeps us from ever getting to that meeting point of internet dating. By the time I read his 3rd post (I believe it was), I had no doubt this person has a serious issue with women? I know this because I have an older brother who is the same way and it shows in just about everything he writes, and I'm talking about just general messages that have nothing to do with dating??? With some folks, it's just as plain as the nose on their face.

Nothing compares with actually meeting the person face to face in the dating scene however, internet dating has been around for a while now and it truly does work for some folks? Yes, I also agree that many of them place bogus figures and even ads that aren't truthful just to get people to join and spend money and that's the sad part.

I noticed that eHarmony is quick to tell the public how many couples have been married because of their website but, they do all they can to hide the figures on how many of those marriages ended in divorce. This fact alone would keep me from ever joining with eHarmony to find a mate. If you're (anyone, any company) on the up & up, then there is nothing to hide and you stand a much better chance of getting people to join your site. People don't like getting scammed and the days of excellent customer service or the customer always being right, well... those days went out long ago! It's all about quantity today, not quality!!!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Sorry but, what is JF?

JF= Jesus Freak

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Try Craig's List for dating. It's 100% free and you do meet some serious & cool people there. Yes, you do have to be careful but, you have to be just as careful on those paid dating sites too!

I've gone out with a few nice ladies I've met on Craig's List but, I've backed off since the first of the year mainly because of medical issues. Who wants to date someone with medical problems anyway and that's not being mean... I'm just being realistic here.

I had a look at Craigslist. The Chicago version leaves much to be desired. Personally, I won't use it for anything except jobs and maybe finding an apartment. The personals--- not a chance. Not in the Chicago Craigslist, anyway.

yeah and I wouldn't do it or advise women to use Craigslist as they might find another Craigslist Killer. Just sayin'