Christian Jargon

Celticflower · Jun 2, 2006

GraceInHim said:
biggest peeve..

on some of these TV shows:
"The Lord is near me, send a pledge for $100 and your prayers will go into this box and we will place our hands in the name of the Lord and....." paalleeze..

a prayer to our Lord does not cost a dime.. he is free for all who want him

Or the ones who ask for a "love gift" of X amount in order to get whatever bit of trash they happen to be sending out that week.

I also have a real problem with churches that refer to themselves as Christian and every other church by denomination or (worse) "non-Christian" (We actually left a church due to the over use of this phrase)

The last thing that makes me cringe (other than a lot of the stuff already posted that is) is when someone gets up to pray and every other word is "DearGod" (yes, run together like it is a compound word). There is a guy at our church who does this and I can't figure out is he just doesn't know what to say or if he is afraid God will forget who he is talking to

Peaceful Dove · Jun 2, 2006

Celticflower said:
Or the ones who ask for a "love gift" of X amount in order to get whatever bit of trash they happen to be sending out that week.

I also have a real problem with churches that refer to themselves as Christian and every other church by denomination or (worse) "non-Christian" (We actually left a church due to the over use of this phrase)

The last thing that makes me cringe (other than a lot of the stuff already posted that is) is when someone gets up to pray and every other word is "DearGod" (yes, run together like it is a compound word). There is a guy at our church who does this and I can't figure out is he just doesn't know what to say or if he is afraid God will forget who he is talking to

Very good one. This along with the ones who say, "Lord" three or four times in every sentence.

Entertaining_Angels · Jun 2, 2006

Yes, the one Bible verse that has become a trendy catch phrase: "And by His wounds we are healed" used every time you have a sniffle, cold or some illness.

Talk about diminishing the importance of the verse and completely changing its meaning.

Dmckay · Jun 2, 2006

It sounds like ya'll are watching way to many televangelists. You need to find yoursself a good Bible-believing and teaching Pastor.

Melethiel · Jun 3, 2006

Dmckay said:
It sounds like ya'll are watching way to many televangelists. You need to find yoursself a good Bible-believing and teaching Pastor.

You've hit on another favorite of mine...."Bible-believing".

edie19 · Jun 3, 2006

Peaceful Dove said:
Very good one. This along with the ones who say, "Lord" three or four times in every sentence.

There used to be a salesman at one of the local Christian bookstores who said "Amen" about every 3rd word.

'That will be $24.59, Amen"
"Amen, have a good day, Amen"
"Thanks, Amen, for stopping in, Amen"

I truly don't think he even realized he was saying it - because it often had nothing to do with his sentence, "Is this still,Amen, your correct address, Amen?"

And I'm not exagerrating - no one could make this up.

ScottBot · Jun 4, 2006

Melethiel said:
You've hit on another favorite of mine...."Bible-believing".

Sorta like churches that describe themselves as "Full Gospel, Open-Bible Church", I guess to distinguish themselves from the:

1. Half Gospel, Open Bible Church
2. Full Gospel, Closed Bible Church, and the
3. Half Gospel, Closed Bible Church.

Willtor · Jun 4, 2006

Scott_LaFrance said:
Sorta like churches that describe themselves as "Full Gospel, Open-Bible Church", I guess to distinguish themselves from the:

1. Half Gospel, Open Bible Church
2. Full Gospel, Closed Bible Church, and the
3. Half Gospel, Closed Bible Church.

Seriously, why do people even bother going to those half-gospel, closed Bible Churches? If they wanted to join a social organization, why didn't they just start a bowling team?

Mskedi · Jun 8, 2006

I just remembered one.

I've noticed a trend where people want to avoid being "legalistic."

That in itself probably isn't bad, but they tend to excuse possibly immoral behavior.

Example: "I know copying this CD 100 times and giving the copies to my friends is illegal and stealing, but I don't want to be legalistic."

You get the idea.

Paleoconservatarian · Jun 9, 2006

edb19 said:
There used to be a salesman at one of the local Christian bookstores who said "Amen" about every 3rd word.

'That will be $24.59, Amen"
"Amen, have a good day, Amen"
"Thanks, Amen, for stopping in, Amen"

I truly don't think he even realized he was saying it - because it often had nothing to do with his sentence, "Is this still,Amen, your correct address, Amen?"

And I'm not exagerrating - no one could make this up.

I have never set foot in a Christian bookstore since I saw the "Testamints" and Bible gum at the counter. And it didn't stop there. Now I hear they're selling candles that supposedly smell like Jesus (not that I'd want to smell a carpenter and traveling rabbi), and Ezekiel bread. So there's another thing that really boils my blood... the names and slogans for "Christian" products. The "cuter," the worse.

Melethiel · Jun 9, 2006

Paleoconservatarian said:
I have never set foot in a Christian bookstore since I saw the "Testamints" and Bible gum at the counter. And it didn't stop there. Now I hear they're selling candles that supposedly smell like Jesus (not that I'd want to smell a carpenter and traveling rabbi), and Ezekiel bread. So there's another thing that really boils my blood... the names and slogans for "Christian" products. The "cuter," the worse.

Hehe...if you like that, check out the gadgets gallery on Ship of Fools.

Paleoconservatarian · Jun 9, 2006

Melethiel said:
Hehe...if you like that, check out the gadgets gallery on Ship of Fools.

Bobble-head Jesus???

God is going to smite us.

Edit: ...Am I a bad Protestant if I try a Pope Cake?

Joykins · Jun 9, 2006

I think my favorite pseudo-Christian gadget *ever* was a sort of Easter toy, a little play gun that shot cross-shaped sponges. A friend of mine commented that if you dipped those babies in holy water, you'd be sure to keep the vampires away--and then lamented that readers of vampire fiction would never, ever, ever believe such a product even existed.

As to my favorite:

"It's not MY opinion, it's God's." (Like it's so easy to tell the difference!)

Paleoconservatarian · Jun 9, 2006

When I have kids of my own, I'm going to ask that they be baptized in "Wash Away Your Sins" bubble bath.

Rdr Iakovos · Jun 9, 2006

This thread is hilarious. I hope we can all laugh at ourselves, for we all are a little foolish/silly.

edie19 · Jun 9, 2006

Paleoconservatarian said:
I have never set foot in a Christian bookstore since I saw the "Testamints" and Bible gum at the counter. And it didn't stop there. Now I hear they're selling candles that supposedly smell like Jesus (not that I'd want to smell a carpenter and traveling rabbi), and Ezekiel bread. So there's another thing that really boils my blood... the names and slogans for "Christian" products. The "cuter," the worse.

I hear what you're saying - and the "testamints" really offend me too. So do many of the books too. They have rows and rows of self help books, church growth books, romance novels, "get rich quick" books and maybe one shelf of theology. So sad.

However, I really don't like purchasing all my books on-line, I do think its important to support the community so - I'm somewhat between a rock and a hard place. Don't shop at them near as often as I used to - but still drop in 1 or 2 times a year.

edie

tulc · Jun 9, 2006

As to my favorite:

"It's not MY opinion, it's God's." (Like it's so easy to tell the difference!)

tulc(that one always cracked me up!)

edie19 · Jun 9, 2006

Paleoconservatarian said:
When I have kids of my own, I'm going to ask that they be baptized in "Wash Away Your Sins" bubble bath.

please tell me you're making that one up - that no one actually came up with that product.

Melethiel · Jun 9, 2006

edb19 said:
please tell me you're making that one up - that no one actually came up with that product.

Sorry...http://www.fridgedoor.com/wasawyoursin.html

edie19 · Jun 9, 2006

Melethiel said:
Sorry...http://www.fridgedoor.com/wasawyoursin.html

just when I think that marketing God can't get any worse. To say I'm appalled is putting it mildly.

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