Christian Jargon

[CaDan]

I have never set foot in a Christian bookstore since I saw the "Testamints" and Bible gum at the counter. And it didn't stop there. Now I hear they're selling candles that supposedly smell like Jesus (not that I'd want to smell a carpenter and traveling rabbi), and Ezekiel bread. So there's another thing that really boils my blood... the names and slogans for "Christian" products. The "cuter," the worse.

Let me introduce you to my neologism: Christiany.

Testamints are very, very christiany.

 

[chaoschristian]

Seriously, why do people even bother going to those half-gospel, closed Bible Churches? If they wanted to join a social organization, why didn't they just start a bowling team?

My bowling team is Full Gospel and Open Bible.

Bible-believing is one of my top pet peeves too.

And the use of the word 'Yes' as an interjection during prayers, sermons and songs. What would happen if someone starting saying, "No!"?

 

[AllTalkNoAction]

"and all the people said ?"

 

[Willtor]

"I challenge you to find a single x!" where x is something that the speaker/writer is too lazy to look up for himself. Aw, this drives me NUTS!

"I challenge you to find me a single Church father who took Genesis figuratively!"

"I challenge you to find me a single verse that supports Amillenialism!"

"I challenge you to find me a single person who uses this phrase from anything but laziness!"

 

[Joykins]

"I challenge you to find a single x!" where x is something that the speaker/writer is too lazy to look up for himself. Aw, this drives me NUTS!

"I challenge you to find me a single Church father who took Genesis figuratively!"

"I challenge you to find me a single verse that supports Amillenialism!"

"I challenge you to find me a single person who uses this phrase from anything but laziness!"

I like to use that one when I find someone asserting something that actually ISN'T in the Bible, but claiming it is anyway.

Which is also annoying but it's scarcely a catchphrase.

So I'll leave you with...

"God laid it on my heart" like God is some broody hen.

 

[Los Colosos Del Ring]

Well these are not specific sayings but I get annoyed when I know a preacher is exagerating a story and getting details wrong. Or they tell a funny story as if it really happened for laughs that coincidently happens to be a joke, like the kid who rides a bicycle with a bag of cement across the Mexican border into the U.S. everyday. I found out that in the joke you can exchange the bicycle with a wheel barrel.

I actually heard a radio minister who was teaching on patience claim he was praying with someone who made the prayer "Lord give me patience, and give it to me know"!

Also I don't like the tendancy for preachers to tell of how they humiliated someone with a snappy comeback or by quoting scripture. "They said this to me...and then I quoted the scripture...and they were just speachless (audience laughs or applauds).

I heard someone say "we fasted, and we fasted, and we fasted". I take it to mean they fasted for a long period of time. But when you think about it, it sounds like they may of took snack breaks in intervals.

 

[Adalbert]

Are there any expressions that Christians habitually use that drive you nuts? I have a bunch of them.

My favorite, of course, is "but what that means is..." followed by the person's doctrinal opinion which may or may not have anything to do with the Bible verses in question.

"Well in my Bible it says..." (Do you have a version of your own? Did you translate it your own self?) This is used to establish the person's superior knowledge of the Bible.

"Last time I checked..." (And when was that exactly? Did you check carefully?) Another "I'm smarter than you" putdown phrase.

"Please bless us in a special way". Prayer jargon, apparently asking God to skip the mundane workaday blessings and give us something really choice this time.

End Times fans talk about when The AntiChrist will "arrive on the scene", although why they like the phrase so much is unclear.

Of course we all use "the clear teaching of Scripture" to mean whatever it is that we believe whether of not is has anything to do with the Bible at all.

Y'all got any favorites?

What is everyone doing to change such vanities/inanities?

 

[Dmckay]

What is everyone doing to change such vanities/inanities?

Except trying to think and communicate more clearly ourselves there isn't much that we can do. Pointing out how jingoistic many believers have become may help some to be more aware of how they sound, but we aren't the though or speech police. For many believers they have grown up hearing many of these things for such a long period of time they probably aren't even aware of how often some of these things slip through their lips.

Remember what James said about controlling the tongue. Most are doing good just to keep the mean or hateful thoughts from spewing forth.

 

[Adalbert]

Except trying to think and communicate more clearly ourselves there isn't much that we can do. Pointing out how jingoistic many believers have become may help some to be more aware of how they sound, but we aren't the though or speech police. For many believers they have grown up hearing many of these things for such a long period of time they probably aren't even aware of how often some of these things slip through their lips.

Remember what James said about controlling the tongue. Most are doing good just to keep the mean or hateful thoughts from spewing forth.

I find that many Christians try to outdo one another in the 'holy talk'. They believe it is an indication of their spiritual health. To beat folks to death with such 'bible-speak', is taking God's name in vain. So, I believe we should be careful what comes out of our mouth and, therefore, I agree with you.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Bert

 

[KEPLER]

"we bind this spirit of *insert anything you like here.... eg, flatulence : shyness : impatience : ROCK music .... etc etc etc .. * .... AMEN "

I make it a habit to bind my spirit of flatulence.

I prefer that others do, as well.

 

[Los Colosos Del Ring]

Turn to the person sitting next to you (sometimes on your right or left) and say....

I know this is an inhibition breaker, but I never really liked doing that.

 

[Dmckay]

Bump!

 

[Leah]

This is one I find a bit annoying at times when we have a discussion about OSAS or catholicism:

"In my opinion............". As if to say it's matter-of-fact, whether their perspective is based on scripture or not.